My foot is much healed - though not completely yet – since last week.
It has been hard staying off my foot as much as possible. This means, of course, sitting in one place or another and greatly limiting switching to other places – though we did have to go out for a bit of food shopping. Staying off my foot seems to be working as it seems be about half better already.
Husband has been trying to help as much as possible – he even washed the dishes for a couple of days. He has always been upset that I did not replace our dishwasher when it died – as much as he did not want me having to wash the dishes by hand, he did not want to have to do so himself when I could not. Even long before Covid I would put on a mask (he has them for his woodworking) or tying a towel around my face and putting on disposable plastic gloves when ill so he would not have to do the dishes. He also cooked – but he has always been the cook of the two of us.
THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -
One needs to be prepared for when cannot do the normal housework – or other jobs which one normally does. What sort of plans do YOU have for when you cannot deal with house, cooking, or work for a period of time.
Do you have someone else to take over or help you – spouse, child, parent, housemate or really good friend? Do you have disposable goods – paper plates, cups, napkins to use when you cannot deal with washing up after meals? The telephone number of a place which delivers for an affordable price?
Whether an injury or an illness which keeps one home one needs to be prepared to be able to eat and deal with one's house should something happen.
Showing posts with label injury. Show all posts
Showing posts with label injury. Show all posts
Thursday, October 20, 2022
ONE NEEDS TO HAVE PLANS WHEN ONE IS STUCK HOME DUE TO AN INJURY OR ILLNESS
Thursday, October 6, 2022
LOSING TIME TO INJURY
The past 2 days I have finally able to walk up and down the stairs without needing two hands – one on banister and one on opposite wall – to do so and not having to step on each step with both feet. Only need the one hand on the banister. This is making it easier on me to do things. I could actually carry the empty laundry down the 2 flights to the basement to do this week's laundry – last week husband had to carry it down. Leg is not perfect yet, but it is better.
It is hard to get things down when one cannot carry things downstairs at all – I had progressed earlier in the past week to being able to hang a plastic shopping around my wrist on the hand which was holding the banister to get some things down the stairs or shove them in the pockets of my jeans – small, light things in both cases.
Have not gotten a lot of work done due to this as I have been trying to not keep walking up and down the stairs so I tended to stay on the same floor of the house for as long as possible before moving to another floor. Once downstairs to cook and eat dinner – stayed downstairs until for bed, for example. Husband has been very helpful as he worries about me.
So, I have not gotten much done the past week – mostly treading water to keep from falling further behind.
THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -
One never know when something small will make big problems for one. I try to keep the house up to date (though rarely succeed at same) to make it easier when something throws me off schedule. Hopefully I will be caught up soon with what has fallen behind.
Thursday, October 25, 2018
MEDICAL MATTERS TAKE MORE TIME THAN SHOULD
Well, it looks like we are coming out of our “emergency” situation with husband’s shoulder. No, it is not that he is better, but rather that he can mostly deal with it. Last weekend he decided that he should try to get back to his normal routine. We had dinner out on Friday night. We ended up at Wendys and he ordered and carried the tray. When we have gone for lunch, I have had to go up and order and carry the tray - although for the lunches since then, I have been ordering and carrying the tray again. Saturday night we went to Ikea for dinner and then the movies. We have not gone to the movies since he hurt his shoulder - and normally we go every Saturday night. Sunday we even went to one of the Asian buffets we go to for dinner. I can touch his arm again without him screaming in pain. I have pushed him to open doors to different businesses we go to and he can open some, but some are too heavy for his shoulder. Biggest problem continues to be the seat belt sitting on shoulder when he drives.
We missed another reenactment event this past weekend. It was a new event and it all sounded complicated - since we were coming late everything we brought would have to be carried in. No parking for the event and looking at the map - we would be parking on residential streets on the far side of a wide main road, that we would then have to cross back - with our stuff - with no traffic light to help us. We would therefore have to travel very light. No bringing even our smaller box bench as it would be too heavy for me to carry - he certainly could not without much pain and making his shoulder worse. We would have to use the reproduction folding stools we have. (Husband made them.) Not a problem normally, but I knew it would be a problem for him right now. So I had him try one - the look on his face said it all. We got a piece of board from the garage workshop and he tried that across the stool - he said it was maybe okay. In the end we decided not to go. From the report on the event it was not a major loss. It is just that he feels that is he is giving in and weak as does he is not doing things
This has continued to be a week of dealing with medical things. I am hard to get blood from during a blood test. The nurse last week was good - I barely felt the needle. When I took off the bandaid when we got home, I was surprised at the bruising where she had done the test, but knew it would go away. Over the weekend we went to Costco and husband found a new canned soup that he wanted. We bought the 8 pack of soup and a small bottle of vitamins which were in a cart. I hate the Costco carts as they are too tall for me to push comfortably and when we walked out of the store I picked up the soup and handed him the vitamins with him protesting all the way about my carrying the “heavy”soup. The weather has been cold here and I have been wearing a long sleeved sweatshirt over my tee shirt. Sunday night when I suddenly was hot and took of the sweatshirt I saw that rather than healing, the bruise area had gotten larger. Of course husband looked it up and said that it was due to carrying heavy items - “see, you should not have carried the soup”. So I am waiting for my arm to be back to normal.
Wednesday we went to the doctor for our regular appointment. All went well, Doctor checked husband’s shoulder and said maybe another month to 6 weeks and it should be okay or we will “see” what else needs to be done - probably nothing.
Now, our state put in a new law maybe last year. Rather than writing out prescriptions and handing them to us, all prescriptions for people (as opposed to veterinarian ones for animals) have to be sent directly by the doctor to the pharmacy. This may be great for helping prevent and deal with addiction, but has been a nightmare for us in dealing with our prescriptions. I keep our prescriptions organized. We are given them 3 months worth at a time. I keep those bottles in our downstairs bathroom (no shower or bath tub to make it steam). I have smaller bottles in the kitchen cabinet. When I use up all the medications in a kitchen bottle, I count out 30 days worth from the ones in the bathroom into the ones in the kitchen and I make a mark on the lid of the bathroom bottle. It helps me keep track of how much medication we have left.
With the new system of no written prescriptions not only do we not see what has been sent through to make sure it is correct, the pharmacy automatically fills all of the prescriptions . Often we don’t need all of them filled and we have to stand there while one of the pharmacy employee wastes time reversing the ones we don’t need. (I am not upset with the pharmacy or their personnel - they go above and beyond as will be shown.) So this time I told husband that I was just going to take all the refills now - even if we don’t need them yet - except for his insulin. (The insulin has to be refrigerated or is only good for 42 days. We have a mostly full box and did not want a second box in the house in case of hurricane and no refrigerator.)
When we got to the pharmacy I explained this and it was no problem not to fill the insulin. We then walked around the store. Husband for some reason was not having a good day with his arm. I offered for us to go home and I would come back for the prescriptions - or they could wait until the next day (today). He insisted on staying. He settled on the bench near the pharmacy to wait.
The prescriptions were almost ready and we waited. Then we were called and I went up to get them. I had added up in my head that they should cost between $30 and $40 so when it rang up for $57 - I was shocked. I went over to husband and we while he checked that the medications were the correct ones, I looked at the charge card receipt - my medications had been rung up at the rate from my old insurance. I switched insurance as of this month - I used to buy my meds off the old insurance as doing so was cheaper - and had purposely brought the cards in a couple of weeks ago so the change would be on file. It was not. One of the employees researched it and switched it over to the new insurance and it’s lower rate. But to do this she had to take out half the pills in 2 of them as I take a half a pill not a whole pill and the insurance would only allow 45 pills for the 90 days, not the 90 pills I had been getting. Okay, I understand. I really appreciated the attention and time the employee put into this - and she was standing on crutches having been hurt in some way, so I felt really bad. She rebottled the pills and gave me a refund for the overpayment. My credit card slip for the original purchase had gone astray on their end during all of this and the search for it was close to 10 minutes before it was found. I was at the point that I had asked if they could just give me a reprint and employee was about to check - when it was found. I thanked her profusely and we came home - 2 hours gone. When I got home I realized that we were charge for the needles for husband’s insulin three times as much as it has been cost before.
We also get test strips to use in our Diabetes meters. When at the pharmacy yesterday, they told us that the doctor’s office had not included a diagnosis code and that we should call to have it resent to them. I did so this morning. This afternoon we went in and discussed the price of the strips - apparently he had been under billed in the past and this amount was correct. When they ran through my test strips they came up for almost $50. They are suppose to be free. I know from when husband switched to this insurance that the first time they charged him $5 and then when it was processed through, the $5 was refunded - but $50? Also they only had enough to fill one of our prescriptions. I had them fill husband’s prescription and I will have to call our insurance company to find out what is going on with the billing for my strips before I get them. I again thanked the employee (same one as yesterday). This all went much smoother when husband switched his medical insurance last year.
Since husband was doing better - even if he does not think he is - and I knew that he could go out for lunch on his own, I told him that I am going to my client tomorrow as I have work that has to be done there - I did not make it there last month for other reasons and this month is quickly running out. (Plus I would like to get paid - we can use the money.) He was not happy, but understood. I told him that I would take our van so he could have the car as it is easier for him to deal with the door and seatbelt in the car. I know the van can fit in the municipal garage I park in as I have taken it there before. He insisted he would be happier if I had the car and he will deal with the van. So I called the client and I am going to work tomorrow. Something I normally look forward to, but am too tired to do so this month. (Oh, I need an extension cord for this client -and it is a special one as it has a flat plug as the outlet is behind a safe. I could not of course find this cord when packing this afternoon to go to work tomorrow - it is kept in my brief case. I finally found out that “the teddies in my little village had borrowed it”, okay, I had grabbed it to use for them until I got one for the village and forgot about it!)
Laundry is behind as we don’t want me carrying it upstairs and he can’t. I have not changed the bedding since he became ill as he has his pillows as needs them (which changes at times) and we don’t want to move them out of position. So I have gotten a lot of undone paperwork done, but other things are falling behind.
THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -
Know what your medical insurance covers and what it costs. Don’t be afraid to make sure that you get what you are entitled to or ask to have something changed to what you are entitled to. In the past we have had a blood pressure medication changed by the doctor at our request as one goes on a formulary and another goes off - they are the same category of medication.
Also if you are picking new medical insurance - and this is the time of year that happens - make sure that any medications or other prescription items that you take are on the formulary (list of covered medications) that the new company has.
We missed another reenactment event this past weekend. It was a new event and it all sounded complicated - since we were coming late everything we brought would have to be carried in. No parking for the event and looking at the map - we would be parking on residential streets on the far side of a wide main road, that we would then have to cross back - with our stuff - with no traffic light to help us. We would therefore have to travel very light. No bringing even our smaller box bench as it would be too heavy for me to carry - he certainly could not without much pain and making his shoulder worse. We would have to use the reproduction folding stools we have. (Husband made them.) Not a problem normally, but I knew it would be a problem for him right now. So I had him try one - the look on his face said it all. We got a piece of board from the garage workshop and he tried that across the stool - he said it was maybe okay. In the end we decided not to go. From the report on the event it was not a major loss. It is just that he feels that is he is giving in and weak as does he is not doing things
This has continued to be a week of dealing with medical things. I am hard to get blood from during a blood test. The nurse last week was good - I barely felt the needle. When I took off the bandaid when we got home, I was surprised at the bruising where she had done the test, but knew it would go away. Over the weekend we went to Costco and husband found a new canned soup that he wanted. We bought the 8 pack of soup and a small bottle of vitamins which were in a cart. I hate the Costco carts as they are too tall for me to push comfortably and when we walked out of the store I picked up the soup and handed him the vitamins with him protesting all the way about my carrying the “heavy”soup. The weather has been cold here and I have been wearing a long sleeved sweatshirt over my tee shirt. Sunday night when I suddenly was hot and took of the sweatshirt I saw that rather than healing, the bruise area had gotten larger. Of course husband looked it up and said that it was due to carrying heavy items - “see, you should not have carried the soup”. So I am waiting for my arm to be back to normal.
Wednesday we went to the doctor for our regular appointment. All went well, Doctor checked husband’s shoulder and said maybe another month to 6 weeks and it should be okay or we will “see” what else needs to be done - probably nothing.
Now, our state put in a new law maybe last year. Rather than writing out prescriptions and handing them to us, all prescriptions for people (as opposed to veterinarian ones for animals) have to be sent directly by the doctor to the pharmacy. This may be great for helping prevent and deal with addiction, but has been a nightmare for us in dealing with our prescriptions. I keep our prescriptions organized. We are given them 3 months worth at a time. I keep those bottles in our downstairs bathroom (no shower or bath tub to make it steam). I have smaller bottles in the kitchen cabinet. When I use up all the medications in a kitchen bottle, I count out 30 days worth from the ones in the bathroom into the ones in the kitchen and I make a mark on the lid of the bathroom bottle. It helps me keep track of how much medication we have left.
With the new system of no written prescriptions not only do we not see what has been sent through to make sure it is correct, the pharmacy automatically fills all of the prescriptions . Often we don’t need all of them filled and we have to stand there while one of the pharmacy employee wastes time reversing the ones we don’t need. (I am not upset with the pharmacy or their personnel - they go above and beyond as will be shown.) So this time I told husband that I was just going to take all the refills now - even if we don’t need them yet - except for his insulin. (The insulin has to be refrigerated or is only good for 42 days. We have a mostly full box and did not want a second box in the house in case of hurricane and no refrigerator.)
When we got to the pharmacy I explained this and it was no problem not to fill the insulin. We then walked around the store. Husband for some reason was not having a good day with his arm. I offered for us to go home and I would come back for the prescriptions - or they could wait until the next day (today). He insisted on staying. He settled on the bench near the pharmacy to wait.
The prescriptions were almost ready and we waited. Then we were called and I went up to get them. I had added up in my head that they should cost between $30 and $40 so when it rang up for $57 - I was shocked. I went over to husband and we while he checked that the medications were the correct ones, I looked at the charge card receipt - my medications had been rung up at the rate from my old insurance. I switched insurance as of this month - I used to buy my meds off the old insurance as doing so was cheaper - and had purposely brought the cards in a couple of weeks ago so the change would be on file. It was not. One of the employees researched it and switched it over to the new insurance and it’s lower rate. But to do this she had to take out half the pills in 2 of them as I take a half a pill not a whole pill and the insurance would only allow 45 pills for the 90 days, not the 90 pills I had been getting. Okay, I understand. I really appreciated the attention and time the employee put into this - and she was standing on crutches having been hurt in some way, so I felt really bad. She rebottled the pills and gave me a refund for the overpayment. My credit card slip for the original purchase had gone astray on their end during all of this and the search for it was close to 10 minutes before it was found. I was at the point that I had asked if they could just give me a reprint and employee was about to check - when it was found. I thanked her profusely and we came home - 2 hours gone. When I got home I realized that we were charge for the needles for husband’s insulin three times as much as it has been cost before.
We also get test strips to use in our Diabetes meters. When at the pharmacy yesterday, they told us that the doctor’s office had not included a diagnosis code and that we should call to have it resent to them. I did so this morning. This afternoon we went in and discussed the price of the strips - apparently he had been under billed in the past and this amount was correct. When they ran through my test strips they came up for almost $50. They are suppose to be free. I know from when husband switched to this insurance that the first time they charged him $5 and then when it was processed through, the $5 was refunded - but $50? Also they only had enough to fill one of our prescriptions. I had them fill husband’s prescription and I will have to call our insurance company to find out what is going on with the billing for my strips before I get them. I again thanked the employee (same one as yesterday). This all went much smoother when husband switched his medical insurance last year.
Since husband was doing better - even if he does not think he is - and I knew that he could go out for lunch on his own, I told him that I am going to my client tomorrow as I have work that has to be done there - I did not make it there last month for other reasons and this month is quickly running out. (Plus I would like to get paid - we can use the money.) He was not happy, but understood. I told him that I would take our van so he could have the car as it is easier for him to deal with the door and seatbelt in the car. I know the van can fit in the municipal garage I park in as I have taken it there before. He insisted he would be happier if I had the car and he will deal with the van. So I called the client and I am going to work tomorrow. Something I normally look forward to, but am too tired to do so this month. (Oh, I need an extension cord for this client -and it is a special one as it has a flat plug as the outlet is behind a safe. I could not of course find this cord when packing this afternoon to go to work tomorrow - it is kept in my brief case. I finally found out that “the teddies in my little village had borrowed it”, okay, I had grabbed it to use for them until I got one for the village and forgot about it!)
Laundry is behind as we don’t want me carrying it upstairs and he can’t. I have not changed the bedding since he became ill as he has his pillows as needs them (which changes at times) and we don’t want to move them out of position. So I have gotten a lot of undone paperwork done, but other things are falling behind.
THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -
Know what your medical insurance covers and what it costs. Don’t be afraid to make sure that you get what you are entitled to or ask to have something changed to what you are entitled to. In the past we have had a blood pressure medication changed by the doctor at our request as one goes on a formulary and another goes off - they are the same category of medication.
Also if you are picking new medical insurance - and this is the time of year that happens - make sure that any medications or other prescription items that you take are on the formulary (list of covered medications) that the new company has.
Friday, October 19, 2018
WHAT IF YOU OR YOUR OTHER HALF WAS UNABLE TO DEAL WITH THE HOUSEHOLD OR FINANCES?
Gosh darn! I did it again! I forgot to post yesterday!
Now, I was doing well, at the beginning of the week I had an idea for what to post about - which I forgot, but as I wrote this very line, the idea came back.
Husband has been having a bad week - his back now is down to an ache and it varies from worse to better - twice it disappeared completely for a couple of hours - but sometimes it gets worse when he takes the medication or when he soaks in a hot shower, the idea our doctor recommended. We happened to be at the doctor’s office today - before all this with his shoulder, I had made appointments for our annual visit and its bloodwork, and today was the bloodwork. Doctor said it could take 6 weeks for his shoulder to stop hurting completely - 4 more to go and neither can take much more of this - for him the pain and inability to go out and do things as he gets too exhausted and it makes his shoulder/arm/ - and now also - neck hurt more. He is frustrated with it all and I am exhausted from trying to help him. Every thing is a bit confused. I am not completely sure what day it is unless I check. (Good thing we have our pills in several day of the week boxes, so it helps remind us what day it and whether or not we took our medications.) When we go for lunch at Wendys I order and get the lunch while he gets the table - the opposite of what we normally do - which also confuses the employees - one fellow there lists me as Mrs. “husband first name”. Others just list with me his name. And then again, the weekend crew which does not know us as well asked for my name - I gave him my middle name to avoid having to spell my name.
On the other hand I have gotten a lot of decluttering done as we are home so much. I have finished scanning in the articles from the older reenacting magazines that we decided to scan the articles he wanted into the computer and then get rid of the magazines. They are now stacked up to take to next month’s reenactment unit meeting and pass them along to others who have joined more recently and not had a chance to read them. In one magazine he only had one article marked to scan - and that was two pages - see, we really did not need to keep the entire magazine at all. As these magazines leave, I have room for the newer ones. I started today scanning in the articles from the magazine from the national of my embroidery club. These magazines after they are scanned go with me to the meetings or places where we do a “stitch in public” and I give them out to people who might be interested in joining us so they can see the nice magazine they will get from national and also get rid of them without throwing them away (ditto the other ones we bring to the reenactment unit meetings). I also have been making telephone calls that I put off as we are not home and awake enough time to make the calls. I still have to call our eye doctor and make an appointment for us - but not sure when to do so as he can’t drive out there.
Okay, now the idea I had for this week. Have you done anything to allow someone else to take over running your household if they had to? For decades I tried to get my husband to pay attention to our finances - where we bank, what money comes in, what bills have to go out, etc. He never wanted to talk about it - it would be bad luck. I started paying his bills for him before we got married and kept doing so - “You’re an accountant. You do it. You are better at it.” I would say to him as I tried to get him to look at things and how I do them “What would happen if I was kidnaped and you had to find the money to pay them to get me back?” Death was not allowed to be mentioned. “I would tell them that have to put you on the phone to tell me where the money is so I could pay them.”
In December 2012 we were in a bad car accident - in front of the house next door to ours. We luckily were not only still alive somehow, but also uninjured. This scared him. He suggested to me that I should I make up a notebook with all the information that someone would need to take over our bills, deposits, running the household, etc. By this he meant, even more than himself, if someone had to take it all over because we were injured.
I started doing this and in the ensuing 6 years I have done parts of it and then redone so. To date it is in my computer and not in a notebook, but I am working doing so. I found a old looseleaf book to use. (Better to recycle it to this than have it sit in the closet and buy a new one.)
My first go around with this - back in 2013 - was to write copious notes about when each bill comes in, when it has to go out, how I write the check, and how I post it in my financial software. Second go around, I scanned one of each bill into the computer as an example.
Currently I am scanning in each bill (first page only) when it is paid along with the check that pays it, anyway, as part of my bill paying. I have to make new notes about each bill and put it the notebook. I also figured out that I would put in the information we receive annually about our garbage pickup, with written instructions to go along with it. I want to write up information about how to use the washer and dryer. How and what I clean (okay, plan to clean and don’t always get to). When things such as the oil burner inspection needs to be done (the company we have a contract with did not call last year - or this year and with dealing with husband and still trying to get to my client to go to work there (for 2 months work now) I never had a chance to call them to ask why I haven’t heard about an appointment for 2 years or set up an appointment. Where what Christmas decorations are stored in the basement and so on.
What prompted to me to write about this now is an article I read in a publication reminding me how hard this can be on the survivor(s). I have had several clients who had their home/family run traditionally. The wife took care of the house and the husband took care of the finances. In each case the husband died and I had to help the widow figure out what they had. This was in the pre-Internet days which was an advantage as for some items we just had to wait until the widow received something in the mail. In January/February one receives all the papers for income taxes so that helped. In addition in some cases we had to check the state unclaimed/abandoned property office (each US state has one - not sure what is done in other countries) to see if anything had slipped by us and had been turned over to the state for the state to hold until it was claimed. Especially important for all spouses (and/or someone else) to know about is any life insurance which has its premiums paid off as nothing may come in the mail from the insurance company.
In addition these days the items maybe sent by email - and one may not be able to check the spouse’s email. Generally items online are not something that can be inherited. By this I mean if your spouse had an (or more than one) email accounts and you do not know how to sign into them, you may not be allowed to get into them as they were your spouse’s account not yours. In addition if there is a Facebook account etc. you may not be given the information to sign into it - it is their account not yours. Do you and your spouse (by which I mean any significant other) share a book download account? If it is in your spouse’s name you probably lose the books in it as they are not for sharing and cannot be inherited.
So if you and someone share accounts make sure that both of you know how to sign into them and what the passwords are. In the article I mentioned, the poor widow was going crazy trying to figure out her husband’s security question answers to be able to set new passwords when she did not know what the passwords were to the accounts. Her husband’s first pet’s name - she put in what she thought it was, but it did not work. His first school - not the one she thought it was.
THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -
None of us likes to think about injury or illness or death of ourselves or those we love - and we think that we have lots of time to deal with it. One never knows. Make sure that you and your other half -if you have one - or someone else who is close and responsible - know about each other’s accounts and log in info. Make sure that you both know what your (joint if applicable) financial situation is and how and when money comes in and goes out and from where it comes and where it goes. Make sure that both of you know about all insurances related to each other. Try to have a list of bills you pay monthly, quarterly, annually, etc. for reference. Have a list of incoming money and when, how and where it comes- especially money that is not a paycheck. If you own a house, car, stocks, etc. make sure both (or all) of you know where the ownership papers are for it. Bank Vault? Locked box in the closet? The back of several drawers? Also if you (or your other) has jewelry include the information about where it is, what it is, and if it is valuable. (My husband knows that the jewelry in the jewelry box on top of dresser is all junk jewelry of no value, but there is a small box stashed with minor items that are real jewelry and the rest is in our bank vault.)
Also if you have all this information organized, in case of an emergency you can take the information with you if you have to flee your home from any of these horrible weather situations which have become more common in recent years. I have a copy of the computer data backup I put in the bank in my “grab and go” folder which has copies of our car and house titles, insurance policies, and I put the bank statements when I reconcile them in the folder - and take out the prior month’s statement and file that one away. This way I have the most recent bank statement to come with us - including the ones for the two organizations that I am treasurer of.
Now, I was doing well, at the beginning of the week I had an idea for what to post about - which I forgot, but as I wrote this very line, the idea came back.
Husband has been having a bad week - his back now is down to an ache and it varies from worse to better - twice it disappeared completely for a couple of hours - but sometimes it gets worse when he takes the medication or when he soaks in a hot shower, the idea our doctor recommended. We happened to be at the doctor’s office today - before all this with his shoulder, I had made appointments for our annual visit and its bloodwork, and today was the bloodwork. Doctor said it could take 6 weeks for his shoulder to stop hurting completely - 4 more to go and neither can take much more of this - for him the pain and inability to go out and do things as he gets too exhausted and it makes his shoulder/arm/ - and now also - neck hurt more. He is frustrated with it all and I am exhausted from trying to help him. Every thing is a bit confused. I am not completely sure what day it is unless I check. (Good thing we have our pills in several day of the week boxes, so it helps remind us what day it and whether or not we took our medications.) When we go for lunch at Wendys I order and get the lunch while he gets the table - the opposite of what we normally do - which also confuses the employees - one fellow there lists me as Mrs. “husband first name”. Others just list with me his name. And then again, the weekend crew which does not know us as well asked for my name - I gave him my middle name to avoid having to spell my name.
On the other hand I have gotten a lot of decluttering done as we are home so much. I have finished scanning in the articles from the older reenacting magazines that we decided to scan the articles he wanted into the computer and then get rid of the magazines. They are now stacked up to take to next month’s reenactment unit meeting and pass them along to others who have joined more recently and not had a chance to read them. In one magazine he only had one article marked to scan - and that was two pages - see, we really did not need to keep the entire magazine at all. As these magazines leave, I have room for the newer ones. I started today scanning in the articles from the magazine from the national of my embroidery club. These magazines after they are scanned go with me to the meetings or places where we do a “stitch in public” and I give them out to people who might be interested in joining us so they can see the nice magazine they will get from national and also get rid of them without throwing them away (ditto the other ones we bring to the reenactment unit meetings). I also have been making telephone calls that I put off as we are not home and awake enough time to make the calls. I still have to call our eye doctor and make an appointment for us - but not sure when to do so as he can’t drive out there.
Okay, now the idea I had for this week. Have you done anything to allow someone else to take over running your household if they had to? For decades I tried to get my husband to pay attention to our finances - where we bank, what money comes in, what bills have to go out, etc. He never wanted to talk about it - it would be bad luck. I started paying his bills for him before we got married and kept doing so - “You’re an accountant. You do it. You are better at it.” I would say to him as I tried to get him to look at things and how I do them “What would happen if I was kidnaped and you had to find the money to pay them to get me back?” Death was not allowed to be mentioned. “I would tell them that have to put you on the phone to tell me where the money is so I could pay them.”
In December 2012 we were in a bad car accident - in front of the house next door to ours. We luckily were not only still alive somehow, but also uninjured. This scared him. He suggested to me that I should I make up a notebook with all the information that someone would need to take over our bills, deposits, running the household, etc. By this he meant, even more than himself, if someone had to take it all over because we were injured.
I started doing this and in the ensuing 6 years I have done parts of it and then redone so. To date it is in my computer and not in a notebook, but I am working doing so. I found a old looseleaf book to use. (Better to recycle it to this than have it sit in the closet and buy a new one.)
My first go around with this - back in 2013 - was to write copious notes about when each bill comes in, when it has to go out, how I write the check, and how I post it in my financial software. Second go around, I scanned one of each bill into the computer as an example.
Currently I am scanning in each bill (first page only) when it is paid along with the check that pays it, anyway, as part of my bill paying. I have to make new notes about each bill and put it the notebook. I also figured out that I would put in the information we receive annually about our garbage pickup, with written instructions to go along with it. I want to write up information about how to use the washer and dryer. How and what I clean (okay, plan to clean and don’t always get to). When things such as the oil burner inspection needs to be done (the company we have a contract with did not call last year - or this year and with dealing with husband and still trying to get to my client to go to work there (for 2 months work now) I never had a chance to call them to ask why I haven’t heard about an appointment for 2 years or set up an appointment. Where what Christmas decorations are stored in the basement and so on.
What prompted to me to write about this now is an article I read in a publication reminding me how hard this can be on the survivor(s). I have had several clients who had their home/family run traditionally. The wife took care of the house and the husband took care of the finances. In each case the husband died and I had to help the widow figure out what they had. This was in the pre-Internet days which was an advantage as for some items we just had to wait until the widow received something in the mail. In January/February one receives all the papers for income taxes so that helped. In addition in some cases we had to check the state unclaimed/abandoned property office (each US state has one - not sure what is done in other countries) to see if anything had slipped by us and had been turned over to the state for the state to hold until it was claimed. Especially important for all spouses (and/or someone else) to know about is any life insurance which has its premiums paid off as nothing may come in the mail from the insurance company.
In addition these days the items maybe sent by email - and one may not be able to check the spouse’s email. Generally items online are not something that can be inherited. By this I mean if your spouse had an (or more than one) email accounts and you do not know how to sign into them, you may not be allowed to get into them as they were your spouse’s account not yours. In addition if there is a Facebook account etc. you may not be given the information to sign into it - it is their account not yours. Do you and your spouse (by which I mean any significant other) share a book download account? If it is in your spouse’s name you probably lose the books in it as they are not for sharing and cannot be inherited.
So if you and someone share accounts make sure that both of you know how to sign into them and what the passwords are. In the article I mentioned, the poor widow was going crazy trying to figure out her husband’s security question answers to be able to set new passwords when she did not know what the passwords were to the accounts. Her husband’s first pet’s name - she put in what she thought it was, but it did not work. His first school - not the one she thought it was.
THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -
None of us likes to think about injury or illness or death of ourselves or those we love - and we think that we have lots of time to deal with it. One never knows. Make sure that you and your other half -if you have one - or someone else who is close and responsible - know about each other’s accounts and log in info. Make sure that you both know what your (joint if applicable) financial situation is and how and when money comes in and goes out and from where it comes and where it goes. Make sure that both of you know about all insurances related to each other. Try to have a list of bills you pay monthly, quarterly, annually, etc. for reference. Have a list of incoming money and when, how and where it comes- especially money that is not a paycheck. If you own a house, car, stocks, etc. make sure both (or all) of you know where the ownership papers are for it. Bank Vault? Locked box in the closet? The back of several drawers? Also if you (or your other) has jewelry include the information about where it is, what it is, and if it is valuable. (My husband knows that the jewelry in the jewelry box on top of dresser is all junk jewelry of no value, but there is a small box stashed with minor items that are real jewelry and the rest is in our bank vault.)
Also if you have all this information organized, in case of an emergency you can take the information with you if you have to flee your home from any of these horrible weather situations which have become more common in recent years. I have a copy of the computer data backup I put in the bank in my “grab and go” folder which has copies of our car and house titles, insurance policies, and I put the bank statements when I reconcile them in the folder - and take out the prior month’s statement and file that one away. This way I have the most recent bank statement to come with us - including the ones for the two organizations that I am treasurer of.
Thursday, November 2, 2017
TRIP WENT AWRY - AGAIN
We have not been on a trip really this year as each time we planned one, something happened. We traditionally go away for my birthday and planned to be away for 5 days for it. We were to leave on Monday and return home overnight Friday to Saturday. Once again our plans went awry. A huge nor’easter (for those not from the U.S. this is a MAJOR wind and rain storm and is considered a winter storm, even though it does not involve snow) was to hit us Sunday through Monday. Luckily we had not made reservations at the RV park in advance - this time of year the parks are usually not anywhere near full here in the northeast U.S. and since we go midweek - we avoid the possibility of the park filling with weekend guests - as well as avoiding the crowds that come to the Pennsylvania Dutch country.
When we going on Monday we planned to start packing the RV on Sunday night with plenty of time on Monday to finish doing so as we would not be in a rush. I made up the bed in the RV last week to have it done in advance - I pull the blanket and sheets over the pillows to keep them free of dust.
I have a checkoff sheet that I keep in the computer and print out each trip to make sure we don’t forget anything. The check off sheet includes a section on things to be done in advance - making the bed, filling the water tanks, checking supplies such as toilet paper, tissues, paper goods, soaps & paper towels, and so on. Then there is a section on personal items - clothes, shoes, jackets, my embroidery - I don’t list the clothing items individually as we know what we need in clothes. I have a food section as we bring items for snack - soda, cracker, water, cereal - and on longer trips I will bring soup, peanut butter and bread - just in case. We have never used the latter, although one lunch time in a bad rain storm we came close. There is a section of electronics to come - laptops and such. There is a section of paper items to bring - coupon holders, directions, reservations (I actually keep an envelope for each of our regular trips for reservations, coupons and other papers I want to bring). There is also a section of what to do before we leave - unplug the washer, turn off the dryer and stove breakers, take out the garbage when we leave. And, lastly, there is a section of what needs to be done when we return - what not to forget in the RV when it is unpacked, turn off the refrigerator, lights and RV battery, and related matters. Very organized -right?
We were planning to go to a farmers’ market on Tuesday so we had to be out and on the way early (for us). I packed the RV Monday night except for our “last minute bag” which has things we need the night before so they cannot be prepacked and my laptop computer. Our plan was for me to call and make a reservation Tuesday morning just after 9 am as the RV park office opens at same. I called. I got a message telling me the office opens at 9 am - at 9:10 am. I left a message to call me back and we kept going. Husband was upset about what would happen if there was no RV space available. I pointed out that he keeps telling me the RV need to be driven; he was looking forward to going to the farmers’market, and I wanted to be away for my birthday (if you have not calculated - this is Halloween - there is much less of same where we were going than at home). I told him that at worst we would have had a day trip and accomplished all 3 things and would come home that night. We left. When we leave I direct him to back out of our driveway using walkie talkies. We also use these for me to direct him into the space at the RV park. Since it was Halloween we wanted to make sure that the house did not look too different as if we were away, so when he was out of the driveway, I drove one of our other cars into where the RV usually sits - and then ran and got into the RV and we were off.
Along the way - around 11 am - I finally was able to make reservations, although not for any of the spaces we prefer - and so far this trip 2 of the 3 spaces we prefer have remained empty and the 3rd was empty tonight. The trip down was actually better than most - much less traffic. When we got to the farmers’ market it was freezing - or at least it felt so to me. I had on 2 sweatshirts and wished I had brought gloves. I had thought of treating myself to ice cream
for lunch for my birthday - there is a stand at the market (actually they are at both markets we go to) that always has a crowd and the ice cream looks yummy, so I thought I would go off my diet and have it for lunch - I planned this last year and the stand was closed. This year it was open, but I was so cold, I could not imagine doing so. We went around at the market and then had dinner (mine was free as it was my birthday) took a walk around Walmart (as we normally do) and went to the RV park.
Being level is very important in an RV - or doors will not open or will fall open and one is uncomfortable. One problem, while driving today on the trip here, I realized that we only had one walkie talkie - the other one I had left in the car at home when I moved it! I waited until we were in Walmart to mention it to husband and quickly suggested alternatives - including buying a pair of walkie talkies in Walmart (which is why I told him then). We decided we would deal with it by using our cell phones. The only level spot we could find in this space was on an odd angle - which we would have to duplicate the next two nights when we came back at the end of the day. We then settled in for the night.
I checked email on my (this laptop) and unpacked the last minute bag. Then we went to get ready for bed. The bed in the RV consists of two bench seats which face each other and two pieces of wood which slide between them and then the bench seat cushions are rearranged into the bed. I was kneeling down to store the laptop and some other items under the bed (the center which would be the aisle between the bench seats is used for storage) and as I bent down towards the bed - WHACK!!! I slammed my head into one of the insert wood pieces. I figured out that I had not pushed it all the way into position between the beds, so where I thought was an open space or wood covered with cushion - was the wood. Owwwww! We checked and there is no bump or bruise. I checked for signs of concussions - none - I made sure to stay awake for several hours to make sure. Tonight, 24 hours later my forehead still hurts if I move the muscles in my face a certain way or if I (or husband who of course does so often to make sure I am okay) touch it.
It was so cold that we had turn on the propane to run the propane furnace in the RV. We had to be very careful and many things could not go where they normally go at night and that nothing flammable was near the furnace. We made it through and should not need the furnace tonight (there is alternate heat down to 40F from a heat sink in the air conditioner).
I then took our medications to take and to replace in our pocket pill boxes to take today. I forgot the over the counter vitamins and such that the doctor has I take - they are either sitting on our kitchen table or my dresser at home. Oh well, at least we have the prescription medications.
Unfortunately all of this mess is becoming more and more common when we take trips. No matter how organized and prepared we think we are - we are not. Well, somehow we always deal with what needs to be dealt with.
THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -
Mistakes happen. There is nothing to do but go ahead as well as possible. No matter how much I try to figure out in advance what can happen and what to do - something else will happen and will need to be dealt with all one can do is one’s best.
When we going on Monday we planned to start packing the RV on Sunday night with plenty of time on Monday to finish doing so as we would not be in a rush. I made up the bed in the RV last week to have it done in advance - I pull the blanket and sheets over the pillows to keep them free of dust.
I have a checkoff sheet that I keep in the computer and print out each trip to make sure we don’t forget anything. The check off sheet includes a section on things to be done in advance - making the bed, filling the water tanks, checking supplies such as toilet paper, tissues, paper goods, soaps & paper towels, and so on. Then there is a section on personal items - clothes, shoes, jackets, my embroidery - I don’t list the clothing items individually as we know what we need in clothes. I have a food section as we bring items for snack - soda, cracker, water, cereal - and on longer trips I will bring soup, peanut butter and bread - just in case. We have never used the latter, although one lunch time in a bad rain storm we came close. There is a section of electronics to come - laptops and such. There is a section of paper items to bring - coupon holders, directions, reservations (I actually keep an envelope for each of our regular trips for reservations, coupons and other papers I want to bring). There is also a section of what to do before we leave - unplug the washer, turn off the dryer and stove breakers, take out the garbage when we leave. And, lastly, there is a section of what needs to be done when we return - what not to forget in the RV when it is unpacked, turn off the refrigerator, lights and RV battery, and related matters. Very organized -right?
We were planning to go to a farmers’ market on Tuesday so we had to be out and on the way early (for us). I packed the RV Monday night except for our “last minute bag” which has things we need the night before so they cannot be prepacked and my laptop computer. Our plan was for me to call and make a reservation Tuesday morning just after 9 am as the RV park office opens at same. I called. I got a message telling me the office opens at 9 am - at 9:10 am. I left a message to call me back and we kept going. Husband was upset about what would happen if there was no RV space available. I pointed out that he keeps telling me the RV need to be driven; he was looking forward to going to the farmers’market, and I wanted to be away for my birthday (if you have not calculated - this is Halloween - there is much less of same where we were going than at home). I told him that at worst we would have had a day trip and accomplished all 3 things and would come home that night. We left. When we leave I direct him to back out of our driveway using walkie talkies. We also use these for me to direct him into the space at the RV park. Since it was Halloween we wanted to make sure that the house did not look too different as if we were away, so when he was out of the driveway, I drove one of our other cars into where the RV usually sits - and then ran and got into the RV and we were off.
Along the way - around 11 am - I finally was able to make reservations, although not for any of the spaces we prefer - and so far this trip 2 of the 3 spaces we prefer have remained empty and the 3rd was empty tonight. The trip down was actually better than most - much less traffic. When we got to the farmers’ market it was freezing - or at least it felt so to me. I had on 2 sweatshirts and wished I had brought gloves. I had thought of treating myself to ice cream
for lunch for my birthday - there is a stand at the market (actually they are at both markets we go to) that always has a crowd and the ice cream looks yummy, so I thought I would go off my diet and have it for lunch - I planned this last year and the stand was closed. This year it was open, but I was so cold, I could not imagine doing so. We went around at the market and then had dinner (mine was free as it was my birthday) took a walk around Walmart (as we normally do) and went to the RV park.
Being level is very important in an RV - or doors will not open or will fall open and one is uncomfortable. One problem, while driving today on the trip here, I realized that we only had one walkie talkie - the other one I had left in the car at home when I moved it! I waited until we were in Walmart to mention it to husband and quickly suggested alternatives - including buying a pair of walkie talkies in Walmart (which is why I told him then). We decided we would deal with it by using our cell phones. The only level spot we could find in this space was on an odd angle - which we would have to duplicate the next two nights when we came back at the end of the day. We then settled in for the night.
I checked email on my (this laptop) and unpacked the last minute bag. Then we went to get ready for bed. The bed in the RV consists of two bench seats which face each other and two pieces of wood which slide between them and then the bench seat cushions are rearranged into the bed. I was kneeling down to store the laptop and some other items under the bed (the center which would be the aisle between the bench seats is used for storage) and as I bent down towards the bed - WHACK!!! I slammed my head into one of the insert wood pieces. I figured out that I had not pushed it all the way into position between the beds, so where I thought was an open space or wood covered with cushion - was the wood. Owwwww! We checked and there is no bump or bruise. I checked for signs of concussions - none - I made sure to stay awake for several hours to make sure. Tonight, 24 hours later my forehead still hurts if I move the muscles in my face a certain way or if I (or husband who of course does so often to make sure I am okay) touch it.
It was so cold that we had turn on the propane to run the propane furnace in the RV. We had to be very careful and many things could not go where they normally go at night and that nothing flammable was near the furnace. We made it through and should not need the furnace tonight (there is alternate heat down to 40F from a heat sink in the air conditioner).
I then took our medications to take and to replace in our pocket pill boxes to take today. I forgot the over the counter vitamins and such that the doctor has I take - they are either sitting on our kitchen table or my dresser at home. Oh well, at least we have the prescription medications.
Unfortunately all of this mess is becoming more and more common when we take trips. No matter how organized and prepared we think we are - we are not. Well, somehow we always deal with what needs to be dealt with.
THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -
Mistakes happen. There is nothing to do but go ahead as well as possible. No matter how much I try to figure out in advance what can happen and what to do - something else will happen and will need to be dealt with all one can do is one’s best.
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