MERRY AND HAPPY

Just a quick post to say -

Merry Christmas.

Happy Chanukah.

Happy Winter Solstice.

Happy Kwanzza.

And for any teddy bears out there - Happy Feast of the Hibernation.

CHRISTMAS AND OTHER HOLIDAYS - AND GETTING READY

Another week gone already?

Are you ready for Christmas or Chanukah or Winter Solstice or Kwanzaa or whatever holiday)s) you celebrate?

Me, I have not packed away Thanksgiving yet.  Well, the dishes, pots, silverware etc were put away, but my decorations are still out.  I don't put out as many for Thanksgiving as I do for Christmas (maybe 1/20th as much as for Christmas or less), but I have the decorations from when we used to have the families here for Thanksgiving dinner and I still put them out – I need to. 

I have to get them packed away and get the indoor Christmas decorations put out – at least most of them.  I generally don't get to my bear village until Christmas Eve or even Christmas night so they “know” they will be put out late.

We still have a lot of stuff in the house that has to go back into our RV from when we cleared it out in October to take it in for the extended service time.  The larger pieces – the bed assembly and such – are back in it.  I have several fabric shopping bags with stuff from it, including the plastic containers that we use for food (snacks) storage when we travel.  It has been bad weather most days around here the last week or so since I realized I had to get all that out to the RV.  Oh, and the vacuum cleaner – we keep a hand held – plug in vacuum in the RV in case we make a mess and need to clean it up.  (Lots of vents in the RV for air to move in and out so animals can smell food in it – hence the plastic containers and concern requiring a vacuum cleaner.)  It is on my dining room table – not a good place for it to be.

We  (and by we, I meant I) also have to store reenacting stuff in the box benches in the dining room that we store it in.  We had the last event of the year that we needed our stuff for last Saturday – more on that later, if I remember – the only remaining events are the 6 days – this coming weekend and next – that we will be doing the candlelight night event at the local restoration village and we need little for that other than our period clothing. 

Husband has to move his weaving stuff to our studio – won't be able to get to my side of same after he does, but the “loom room” will again be the living room when he does. 

After all that I can start putting up the decorations and the trees. 

We have been busy the last week since I spoke to all of you.  I went to Manhattan to a client on Thursday, which took most of the day especially the travel back and forth.  When I got home husband was waiting to pack our van for the reenactment event that was coming up on (now last) Saturday. 

It was at a historic home that one of our members works at and was a colonial crafts event that we were allowed (encouraged) to sell our work at.  The local community had their tree lighting and other events that day so crowds were expected in the community.  Husband had been weaving scarves to sell.  It was to rain on Friday – and maybe Saturday – so when I arrived home on Thursday husband suggested that we pack the van while it was not raining, though dark.  He was concerned about the tables and racks getting wet on Saturday if it was still raining, so we put everything in very large plastic bags – some items needed two bags – one on each end, overlapping, to cover them.  He had put two tables in the back of the van before I came home.  We needed to put most of what we were bringing in the main section of the van (where we have a back seat and the middle seat is out & permanently in our storage shed to make an open space).  It was a cold night and damp in advance of the rain.  He went to slide the side door open and it did not budge.  He tried again – and again.  He then went in the front door and climbed through to the main section and went to open the door – which is pushing instead of pulling it open from outside as we thought that somehow it had frozen closed and needed to be forced open. 

Ha ha!  He get the door open and the overhead rubber gasket that keeps water from going into the van fell down – on me.  It would not fit back into place.  I called our mechanic – if I have not mentioned it is a local shop and 4 blocks from our house – it was almost 5:30 and I thought they closed at same.  His newest mechanic answered (there are 3 including the owner) and he knows us by name from all of our crazy car problems.  I explained and he told me we should bring it over – if we left it sitting it would flood in the coming rain, at the very least they would have it indoors and fix it the next day.  We drove over hoping the side door would not roll open – it did not.  He got the gasket back in place and we were set again.  We went home and loaded the van.  Friday we ran normal errands and picked up deli turkey to make sandwiches for the next day. 

Saturday it was misty more than raining and we were able to get everything inside to set up dry.  We had a nice room in the museum – the exhibition was on 19th century needlework so it went well with his weaving and my embroidery demonstration.  We fit in the room perfectly.  The event had people there most of the day – estimate is 75-100 people and since it was raining on and off and nasty the rest of the day, that was pretty good. 

Still no chance to pack away Thanksgiving decorations and start on Christmas though.  Each day has had new things to waste the day.  I did manage to fit in taking most of the smaller exams I need to take to prepare income taxes next year for pay.  They are online classes from an approved company and I use them every year.  Two more small classes and tests and then the large 3 hour timed test – 6 hours of class time to do.  That last one is always the one that scares me.  I know that someway I will fit them in  before the end of the month as I always do.

I hope to get the stuff out to the RV and pack away the Thanksgiving – at least the downstairs stuff, if not the Teddy Village Thanksgiving stuff tomorrow and hopefully start with the dining room decorations.  I need to push a large linen style looking chest from the living room to the dining room before I start the dining room.  It holds a small sized tree in the dining room and the large tree in the living room goes where the chest is the rest of the year.  (It looks like a linen or hope chest, but instead of the top lifting the front drops down and there are drawers in it for DVDs – husband made it.)

The front hall and the living have decorations also and then the 3 downstairs trees – big one in the living room, small ones in the dining room and studio and beaded one that I made in the living room also – on the coffee table.  I was going to change the bear figurines (separate from the teddy village) that are in a corner shelf unit in the living room – but his big loom is in front of the corner unit. 

I did put up the wire hanging piece we bought a few years ago to hold Christmas/holiday cards.  It is a long piece with little wire spots to clip papers – in this the cards – to and I hang it from our mug rack near the ceiling in the kitchen with red ribbons.  I had figured a better way to hang it last year when I took it down and clipped a note into one of the wire spots to remind me – good idea it worked perfectly and I clipped the note back in for next year.

We did finish our shopping – we bought books for his two nieces – the only gifts we buy.  I send my adult niblings (that is actually a work – I made it up and then found it already existed – it means nieces and nephews combined) checks for gifts.  He has bought some DVDs and such – which he would have bought anyway – and given it to me to wrap for Christmas – I actually stick them in recycled Christmas gift bags – why waste paper.  At some point we have to figure out what we are going to do for Christmas Eve dinner – maybe the Asian buffet we go to will be open?  We are also figuring we will go there for dinner tomorrow as we won't be able to eat out this or next weekend due to the reenactment, so it will break the meals at home up a bit. 

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -

Whatever holiday you celebrate – take time to enjoy it.  In the future it will generally be the good times that are remembered – if the problems and misadventures are remembered they will become humorous in retrospect - “Hey remember the year that Susan and Carl got into the box of chocolates when they were little and took a bite out of each and then put them back?”   “Remember the year we forgot to bring Ellen's gift and we all had to get together again the next week for her to get it?”  Trust me, these things are terrible in the moment, but hilarious in the future.

It is the memories of the time together - even if you are just two like us  - that matter in the end.  If the decorations are not finished – they will be by new year's.  If you will be alone try to find someplace where there are other people, I know that there are community holiday dinners even around here  - where no one would think that they exist.

Oh, and as I learned at home growing up – there is always a room to throw all the stuff I you can't figure out what to do with in so the house will look nice for any family or friends who come by.  :-)

REAL ESTATE TAX EXEMPTION PAPERWORK AND TEETH FOR HUSBAND

In our state, which has high taxes, being over 65, we are entitled to a senior exemption from part of our real estate taxes (which is a BIG amount) and since our school taxes are a separate real estate tax, we are also entitled to a partial exemption from same from our state.  In speaking with friends in other counties this is handled by the local township, village, or city and is a simple process.  In our county it is handled by the county and they seem to make it hard in an attempt to make it harder to obtain the exemption.

I understand that they have to make sure that those obtaining these credits are entitled to them but if I was not an accountant I would have a problem with the paperwork in past years and even more so this year. 

First year we were entitled to the exemption I put together the info we seemed to need and we went to one of the meetings that the county holds in libraries around the county about the exemption.  We need to fill in a form that is actually pretty straight forward.  We also need to supply copies of W2s, 1099s etc. to prove our income – okay not too bad from the prior year .  If our income was under the maximum amount allowed that would be all we need to do.  My mom cannot understand why I scream about this process as she has a 1099 for interest, one for some small dividends and one from Social Security and that is all she needs to make copies of and send with her application form.  Have I mentioned that the paperwork needs to be filed annually?

Since our income is higher than the maximum amount allowed, we need to provide our medical costs paid by us to bring our income under the maximum.  Sounds easy, right, make copies of the checks or charge slips that paid our medical insurance, doctors, pharmacies, eyeglasses, etc.?  No, they will not accept canceled checks or credit card slips as proof.  We have to get a printout for the year from each of the medical insurance companies, doctors, etc. that we paid money to during the year.  Pharmacy – no problem, the understood what we needed.  (Maybe because they are in our state?)  Dentist – no problem, he printed our our payments file.  Medical Insurance companies – ha, ha, ha.  I have now dealt with 3 of them trying to get printouts – and now have done so over multiple years.  The first year I only had to get same from the one (ACA) insurance company we had both shared the year before.  After several calls I finally had what I needed and I made a note of what they called it to help the following year.  Second year I had to get same for us, and husband had switched to Medicare during the prior year – so I had to get printouts from his supplemental policy and his medications (Part D) policy as well.  (Actual Medicare paid is shown on the Social Security form and they accept that.)  Since this is all done towards the end of the year using information from a year before, when I got the info last year my Medical insurance co had also sent the payments for last year as I had already switched to Medicare and I held onto same for the filing this year.  This year I managed to get the printout for our two medication policies on the first try.  It took 4 tries – the last by mail with a copy of the printout that they sent last year  - to get a copy of same from our supplemental policy company.

As, I mentioned the first year we were applying we went in and met with a person from the assessor''s office about this.  https://wheredidileavethat.blogspot.com/2017/10/dealing-with-county-bureaucracy.html  In addition to all the paperwork that was listed and we had with us, they wanted other paperwork.  The employee said that our income was too high.  I pointed out that we have medical expenses that bring the income down and well into range.  “But these have to be medical expenses that YOU pay, not someone else!”  Who the heck else is paying our medical costs but us?   She took the info we had and I get to get a form from IRS showing the W2s etc that they had on record for us also.  (This is a very valuable form that I did not know about before this.  A client of mine between moving and losing her husband had not filed her /their income taxes.  She filed later ones, but not that one.  I pushed her to her file it as she normally has a sizable refund due, but then she could not find the information forms she had been mailed – this form allowed us to get copies of them so her return could be prepared.  In addition husband is having a fight with an online payment processor which wants proof of his corporation's “Social Security number” - it does not have one.  They need a notice or bill sent within the past 6 months (umm, we pay on time, only if one has not paid would one get either – do they really want to do business with people who don't pay their bills?) showing the Social Security number.  I sent away for this form as it shows the Business ID number of the business and will dated within 6 months – I hope that will resolve the matter.)

Last year since I knew what had to be done I collected the papers, made copies and we mailed them – certified mail – to the county over a month and a half in advance of the due date and relaxed waiting for the notice to be sent of the exemption we were entitled to.  We received a robocall from the County Executive that we had filed for the program before, but had not filed for “this” (last) year yet.  I had to take mom to the doctor and this office cannot be reached by telephone.  I tried calling anyway, but got the usual - “We do not have time to speak to anyone.  There is extremely limited parking here, so don't bother to come here.” message. (I am not exaggerating – that is how their phone is answered and there is a currently a movement by higher county officials to make them take calls.- the parking part is correct, it is almost impossible to park to go to them.)  I tried again later in the day while mom was in with her doctor and there was a message that the call had been in error.  Turns out that instead of calling 3000 something seniors, every one of 400,000 plus land owners had been called.  Per the information on TV that night if one had a receipt from the assessor's office one was okay.  There had been a line 2 hours plus long of people running in with the problem.  The next day we made an additional copy of the application and all the attachments and drove there – husband dropped me off and drove about 5 blocks away to a store's parking lot to wait for me.  They did have our application.  They could not give me a receipt as it had been received by mail, but they did have it.  And we did get our partial exemption.  We decided that in the future I would walk the application in to them, while husband waited in car. 

Knowing I would need all of this I started collecting and requesting the information earlier in the year this time and had it all ready for when we received the application in August.  After we did all the rest of the problems that I have posted about with mom happened.  I worked a bit on the exemption when I could.  I thought that it would easy this third time, but they added to what they need.  If one has business income (and we each have a very small professional business – both with losses in 2018 the year we are giving them for the 2020-2021 real estate tax year) one has to provide proof of all income and expenses.  This actually turned out to be harder and more time consuming than any IRS or state (of 5 states I have done income taxes for) audit!!

Husband's was fairly straight forward – he gets paid through an online company and the printouts from same show the income and the fee taken from same.  (His income was not high enough for a 1099 form last year.)  8 photocopies (he did not get paid every month) took care of the proof of income and of the fees paid to get paid.  He had maybe 3 other expenses plus car expense and Internet expenses.  I had a 1099 from one client and deposit slips plus copies of checks received from my other clients.  I cannot reveal names of same so I blacked out all identifying income of clients.  I have a variety of expenses – office supplies, exams I have to take, computer, subway etc plus my share of car expenses and Internet expenses.  I had to copy every gas receipt, every repair receipt, car insurance, etc. for the car and also all of our Internet service bills.  I then used the copy of the breakdown of the car expenses that I used for our tax return to show same and had to do a breakdown of our Internet service expenses for them.  I scanned each page of the entire form and attachments into the computer as I added them to the stack of papers.  I also wrote a summary of what was enclosed – that was 6 pages long – and put a title page on each of the sections of  papers, plus a cover letter.  I know I passed 180 pages! 

Then I went to attach the papers to each other – I did not own a clip large enough and even my  special “large stack of papers” stapler would not work.  I ended up putting the application and main papers in one clipped package and the business income and expense proof in a second one. 

I finished this over last weekend and we planned to take it this past Monday to the assessor's office as we wanted their receipt for it (plus it would cost a fortune to mail).  So, last Friday husband's front tooth fell out.  Our dentist retired and while we had 4 possibilities, we did not know who to go to.  We are doing a colonial craft show this coming Saturday and he really needed this tooth replaced.  We decided to go with a local office that we pass which has good reviews which has a lab in it and takes walkins.  Husband had me call on Friday and the phone kept ringing.  I finally called their office in the county west of us and was told that the office near us was closed until Monday.  My already panicked husband was in that state all weekend.  Remember – we planned to bring the application for the exemption to the county on Monday.  Monday morning I started calling the dentist's office at 9:40 and it just rang.  I called the other office again and was told that someone would be there by 10 am.  I started calling at 10:10 and either the line was busy or it did not connect.  I should mention that it was heavily raining.  At 10:30 I called the other office again, apologized and explained.  She said that she would have them call us.  They did – they were having troubles with their lines. Big problem – dentist was away until the following Saturday (still 3 days away as I write this).  I explained why we needed to come in.  At last a break!!!  The technician was in – Monday his only day – and he might be able to add the teeth (there was another one out and ignored while waiting for this front tooth to go) for us – but we would have to come right away.  We did.  Very nice receptionist and technician.  After the inevitable paperwork the tech took a mold and we were told it would be ready by 2 pm – same day!!  I went to the desk to pay for the work (much less than we thought it would cost), but due to the telephone lines problem, the credit card would not process.  I was trying to figure out if we had enough in checking to cover the cost, when she decided to call the other office – she read the info to the lady there who had been of so much help and the receipt would be waiting for us to sign when returned. 

It was just around noon.  Husband decided that we should go to the assessors' office and deliver the paperwork.  Of course when I was taking same with us as we left for the dentist, he told me to leave it home and we had to go home and get it.  I had figured that the assessor's office would be jammed and we decided if I was not done by 1:30 I would leave so we get his teeth.  (He has an older set that he was wearing.)  I also figured that since it was lunch time it would be even worse as people would come during same and less employees would be working.  I went in and there were less than 20 people ahead of me.  (Texted husband same.) 

At first I was amazed how fast it was going.  One of the 3 employees working at this spent the entire time I was there with one woman who apparently had a real mess.  One of them was seeing people, collecting paperwork that was right and seeing person after person.  The third seemed to be a supervisor.  I happened to be seated near him and could hear what was going on.  There was a man there delivering papers for some other matter of the assessor's office and he was wasting time – he could not understand to give the employee the needed papers and had to go and make photocopies (they had a free machine in the room) – the employee then took a couple of people dropping off their exemption papers.  Then the fellow came back – he kept asking if all the papers were right and the employee kept telling him that it was not his decision.  The fellow went to make more copies.  I turned to the employee and said “You have great patience.”  He smiled back at and nodded.  He then took someone again.  He was about to take someone else, when the fellow came back.  This threw the numbers off.  He had been about to see #79 and it had disappeared off the list of numbers to call.  He told the other employees to call that number, but they forgot and called #80 – who nicely let 79 go ahead of her.  Then when they called 81- 80 went.  There was then a discussion between the two regular employees – you take 81, I'll take 82 – me.  But someone with something from before came back.  I stayed near where they working to make sure that I was next. 

The employee asked for the papers and I handed them to her and explained it was too large to put together  - not for her – a rubber band around the two and a huge clip on top and it was done.  She handed me a computer issued receipt and it was done! 

As I was about to text to husband to come back to the building and pick me up – he texted asking if I was going to see someone soon.  I texted back.  He picked me up and we went back to the dentist.

The teeth were perfect!  I signed the copy of the credit card slip, took our copy and we left.  Two major problems resolved at the same time!  And we now know of a dentist to go to.

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -

When there is a huge problem – do it step by step.  Expect that things will go wrong or be different than last you time you did the same thing.  Take advantage of down time (in this case I had worked on finishing the exemption form in short bursts over the weekend between shopping for his younger niece's gift, meals out and movie night -plus the run to the assessor's office while waiting for his teeth).  Somehow the work always seems to get done.  The paperwork was due by January 2, but we wanted it in before the holidays. 

WHY MY POST WAS SO SHORT LAST WEEK - MOM AND ANOTHER DOCTOR

Sorry for last week. We ended up having to take mom to an oncologist on Wednesday – the day before Thanksgiving and the day that I normally would write my post and post it – and I had to cook for Thanksgiving that night.

I realize that taking mom to a doctor is more time consuming than you might think. Remember – mom is 90. We have to allow an hour and a half to get her out to the car, up, drive her to whichever doctor we are going to (all with 30 minutes of her assisted living residence, most within 20 minutes), and get her into the doctor's office.

Why does it take this long? Well, when we get to her residence we park in the lot. We walk to the building and walk in – have to stop and sign in. Mom's apartment is – literally – the furthest one in the place. She is on the top (third) floor and is in the last room on the furthest hall – if we are running late picking her up and have to run - getting to her apartment is a good cardio workout. We go the elevator, go to the third floor and start walking (unless as mentioned we have to run).

Mom will be sitting in her wheelchair waiting for us. She uses a walker around the building, but when go out it is quicker and easier to take her in wheelchair. But – first she has to stand up with the walker so that we can take the two large wheels off the chair. In case you did not know this – the large wheels on the sides of wheelchairs can be removed (on hers we push in the axle and then pull the wheel off) and there are 4 smaller wheels. The big wheels are there so the person in the wheelchair can reach the wheels and push them to get around. (Mom will “walk” the wheelchair – sitting, but walking her feet to make it go when she uses it alone.) If we leave the big wheels on it is too heavy for us to lift into the back of our car and does not fold as flat. Big wheels off the chair she sits down in it again – we check that she has her room key, her medical insurance card and her driver's license (to be changed this coming year to a non-driver's ID). Even when one has been to a doctor before they need the insurance cards and her ID again. (One doctor is in the local hospital and we all need to show ID to enter and have to allow time for same as there might be a line – we each get an ID tag good for a day with the photo and info from our licenses on them.). When she is back in her wheelchair we head out her door to the hall.

There is what is called a wellness office in the building which, luckily for us, is on the same floor as mom. It is set up like a small clinic – receptionist, nurse's office, 2 examining rooms, and a medication room. In this last there are file cabinets with loose leaf books with pages with plastic bubbles on them with the medications for a month for each resident – each time during the day that the resident needs to take a medication there is a separate page. One thing that impressed me is that there is a photo of the resident in front of her/his pill pages so they can be sure that the correct person gets the correct medications. If mom has not been at a doctor that month I call ahead and ask for them to give me a copy of her medications – easiest way to given them to the doctor. The first time the nurse added mom's height and weight and since she cannot stand without holding on to someone or something and one doctor's office insisted that they had to take her weight, I now ask for her height and weight to be listed. Sometimes it is waiting for us when I call ahead, often it is not – so we often need time to pickup the info pages or wait for it to be done. If mom will be away from the residence when she is to take a pill, they will give ME the pills (they cannot give them to her per them as the resident might forget them or take them at the wrong time). Lately I already have the meds from last time and she will not miss medications so we can avoid this stop.

We then go back downstairs in the elevator and head back to the front desk. If mom will miss a meal we have to stop and we are not able to take her out to eat that meal, when we stop at the front desk to sign her out – and sign that we are leaving - we order a tray for her to be delivered to her room – this can take awhile for her to decide. We go out to the car and help her get in the front passenger seat. Ahead of time we clear out the hatch area at the back of the car for her wheelchair – it takes both of us to load and unload it. I ride in the back seat. That is at least a half an hour gone.

We then start driving to whichever doctor we are going to. At this point we are taking her to 4 different doctors – on different days - and still need to set up appointments for her for hearing aids (so we don't have repeat everything the doctor says by yelling it to her) and for spot on her face that has to be removed. She also wants to go and “get the shots” in her knees so that they don't hurt or least not as much.

Depending on the doctor (well his/her location) parking may be easy or hard. Generally it is not too bad – except there is one doctor whose office is “heck” and seems to be the worst organized place we have ever been and sometimes husband has to drop us off and then go look for a parking space.

The doctor we went to last Wednesday is in a temporary office and the building is on a hill – with most of the parking in the rear – uphill. Husband dropped us off at the back (main) door and went to park so we would not have to deal with the hill. We went in on the second floor as a result. There was a very small hallway area – basically a large room and we went through all of it and could not find an elevator. Husband said to me “I told you always check that the office is wheelchair accessible. “ we decided that since the front of the building on the right side had a big sign for the group that the doctor is part of, maybe we had to go there. So we went back out and around the building – downhill trying not to let the wheelchair and mom get away from us. The front of the building had stairs! Husband went in and asked and they told him to use the rear door – where we had been = there was an elevator and they could not understand how we could have missed it (none of us saw it). We each took a handle to wheelchair and huffed and puffed our way back up the hill. We went in the building second door on the left was the elevator! (I would swear it was not there before). You know the expression - “if it was a snake it would have bitten us?”). Rest of the visit went well and we took mom out to lunch at Wendys – she insists on paying for us.

We allow the extra half hour for things like this – not being able to find the elevator or problems parking or whatever. Some doctors say that if one is there 15 minutes or in one case, half an hour, before your appointment it will be canceled – why the heck don't they just make your appointment for the earlier time, especially as they don't tell you this until you are at the office.

We also have to allow time to get to mom. It is a half an hour minimum to drive out there – if there is traffic, especially rush hour – morning or afternoon, or an accident we need to allow extra time. The time we were going to the doctor who is half hour from her, there was an accident on the road after we picked her up and were on our way – the extra half hour saved us from being late. Of course if it is early (for us) we have to get up and get dressed and sometimes eat lunch before we go.

After the appointment the entire process is done in reverse - including signing mom back into her residence – sometimes ordering a tray for her then, taking her back to her room and putting the wheels back on her wheelchair. We may also have stop in the Wellness office with instructions from the doctor or to let the nurse know to expect same to come. Sometimes we will walk around a bit if we have time before her dinner.

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -

When you do something over and over – even with slight variations – take note of how long each part takes and use that information for doing whatever it is again in the future. But – always allow a bit of wiggle room as one never knows when there will be a accident on the road to the doctor or they actually want you there earlier than you are suppose to be there.

SORRY FOR LACK OF POST OF THIS WEEK

I am so behind this week – mom has needed some additional doctor appointments plus making Thanksgiving dinner for husband and myself– that I do not have a post for this week. My apologies and I assure you that next week I will be back with a regular post.

For those of you in the US – I hope that you have had a good Thanksgiving.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK –

Things happen and must be dealt with – we deal with them as we need to.

STILL TOO MUCH NEEDING TO BE DONE

That was a short week!  We have taken mom to two doctors in the past week.  One was a happy checkup with the doctor who replaced her pacemaker.  The other was a not as happy appointment with the doctor who did cancer surgery on her.  There is still some cancer and we have to take her to an oncologist.  Treatment recommendation by this doctor was based on mom's age – 90 – and the fact that it is a slow growing cancer.  I should mention after complaining about another doctor's office, both of these were great with helpful staff and no hours of waiting.  We still have to take her back to the doctor about her leg scan (the one with the awful office/staff setup) and then there are about another 4 doctors she needs to go to.

In between these appointments I have been trying to get our senior real estate tax exemption worked on and I should have all or almost all of the paperwork I need.  I will have to check each section's numbers against the paperwork for it and we have to copy all of it and I do so with a page that has our names, the section, block, and lot number of the property and the year the papers apply to written at the top (with the computer).  This page is put behind the items I copy as I do so that so that the finished copy will have this info at the top in case any pages get separate from the others – I am glad I have a heavy duty stapler that staples thick stacks of papers as there will a lot of papers.  I have already done our 1099s & similar and our medical expenses.  I have to mostly deal with our businesses expenses – I will do the joint expenses first (car expenses and some other ones have to be split between our two businesses and also from personal use), then husband's business as it is easier and finally my business. This has to be there before the end of December and I figure the earlier the better.  I was getting all this done quickly and early when I found out that they had added need for proof of business income and expenses. 

I also have to renew my permissions to prepare tax returns from Federal and state governments.  Federal mailed in already and I did the state application online – the only way it can be done.  I still need to finish the required tests for the Federal paperwork.  One test for 1 credit done, 19 more credits to go.  It will be done – it only one test for 6 credits that always concerns me as it has a time limit. 

I have still been heating the paperwork from my family home in small groupings in our PackTite heater (for bedbugs).  I found out that among the papers my sister gave me is my parents income taxes – back to the 1950s as well as the papers related to the purchase of the house back in 1958-9 and my dad's release from the military paperwork.  I commented to husband that I know their old taxes are no longer needed and I should just check through them and shred them – but – dad always told me that one keeps copies of client's taxes as long as they are clients and then at least another 3 years, so by that logic I should keep them.  I have discussed it with husband and will scan them into the computer and shred the originals. 

I got behind with the laundry last week – it was done, but not all was folded or put away, so I had to do same tonight before I started this week's laundry – first load is in washing now, when the ringer in cell phone goes off, I will go down and switch to dryer and put in another load to wash.  Just happened – will be right back – feel free to talk among yourselves until I do.

Back again. 

As I have mentioned in the past year, I have been having a problem keeping track of papers – something I have never had before.  In October our reenactment unit had an event.  I know and remember that the unit commander (club president) had asked me if I had brought the checkbook – which I didn't as it is safer to keep it home. Since he did, I assumed that he had given me a bill for something for the unit to reimburse him for.  ¾ of the way through the day it had started raining and we along with most members had brought their stuff inside our headquarters building and then at the end of the day I had brought our van back to the area where we had been setup and we packed it quickly to avoid getting things wet.  Two days later I started looking for the bill that I had to reimburse the commander for.  I could not find them.  We did not actually bring the stuff in from the van until the end of that week.  I went through everything again and climbed under the seats in the van looking for the bill.  Husband than threw another thought at me – at an event the unit did in September the place wrote the check payable to the commander personally instead of to the unit – and husband said that what I was remembering was probably the commander giving me his check as we had told him to deposit the check and then write the unit a check.  So was I missing the bill to pay him for?  The check he gave me for the that event?  Both?  A week in I had written him an email explaining and apologizing and asking him to let me know how much the unit owed him.  (I did not mention the check he owed the unit.)  He did not get back to me.  I have been “sick” with the idea that I lost a bill to pay, as well as maybe the check he wrote to the unit.  I brought the checkbook to the meeting this past Monday to settle up.  Whew! Nothing was lost.  He had asked me about the checkbook in reference to another matter that did not materialize and he told me that not only does the unit not owe him money, but he owes us the money from the check that he deposited.  It was a wonderful relief to know that I had not been careless and lost neither bill nor check. 

I have to complement and thank my husband.  He has been insisting on helping me with my mom and the doctors.  My mom is well, a 90 year old opinionated woman who does not hear well.  (One of the doctors we still have to go to is for hearing aids – but the other doctors are more urgent).  He has been wonderful with her.  One advantage to having him along is that he speaks “medical” and can talk to the doctors on a different level than mom or I can.  (He was the head of a mental health agency and had doctors working under him.)  He understands what the doctors are saying better than either of us and knows when and how to ask questions.  Part of why he comes is I helped with his mother when she needed same (although his sister handled the medical and I handled the financial), especially since he butted heads a lot with his sister and mother over how things should be handled, so I sort of ran interference by going while he was at work to help her.  Part of it is he does not like being home alone.  Part of it is that he know he can help a lot. 

We still have not really done any planning for (American) Thanksgiving.  Since he has become lactose intolerant (or so it seems) since last year, two of his favorite dishes may not be made for him, especially since I like neither – pumpkin pie and Colonial Williamsburg Sweet Potatoes (no marshmallows, of course).  The former uses evaporated milk and the later uses regular milk –  1/3 of ¼ cup of same (original recipe for 3 lbs sweet potatoes, I make him 1 pound).  We will see.  We are debating if I should make the vegetable soup that I used to make for the family for Thanksgiving dinner – I figured out how to cut it down and make ¼ of the amount of soup I used to make or even 1/8 of same, but it is one that we like and gets better reheated.  (I would make the entire recipe and reheat over the winter, but it has potatoes in it and they do not do well with being frozen, so I need to cut it down to what we can manage to eat without needing to being frozen to keep long enough.)  The alternative is to make a different Pennsylvania Dutch soup called Chicken corn soup.  We will see which he prefers.  Our normal menu was the Vegetable soup (cooked on the day before Thanksgiving as it takes a while to cook), turkey of course, stuffing, mashed potatoes, green beans, the sweet potatoes, and gravy.  I did not cook the turkey as husband liked it better from a commercial oven – he says it is crisper.  When we started (I had never cooked a turkey) we found a local place that cooked turkeys with a hot pick up just about when we needed it – my sister and her family would stop and pick it up on the way here for us.  Three years ago we had run places to go to for Thanksgiving dinner for just the two of as we were no longer having family in for same, and I had to cook the turkey.  I did so and it was fine.  The following year I cooked it from the same place following their directions and it did not cook through, we ended up cutting off pieces and cooking them separately.  I figured out that the packaging had 2 different temperatures and I must have used the higher one first year and the lower one second year.  Last year I used the higher temperature and put the turkey in upside down and turned it over part way through and it was cooked through and I will remember to do so this year again.  In the old days there would have been the pumpkin pie and I would bake an apple pie and Venetians (rainbow cookies).  No need for so much dessert for the two of us, especially since neither of us should be having same at all.  

(And I will have to find time to post the night before while I am generally cooking.)

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -

As it says in the “Hitchhikers Guide to the Universe” - DON'T PANIC!  Things seem to work out in the end.  We managed to get the appointments we needed to get right away for mom.  The real estate tax exemption will get done and in on time.  The exams will be taken on time.  Laundry will be caught up tonight.  The missing papers were not missing.  Thanksgiving dinner will get a menu and will be cooked. 

RV, VAN AND OLD PAPERS

Another week, another post.  Mom had 2 surgeries within a week and is now back in her apartment at the assisted living facility.  We will taking her Friday back to the doctor who changed her pacemaker for a checkup and I have to make an appointment for same with the doctor who did her cancer surgery as well as with the one involved with her leg scan as it still has not has been discussed with her.  We did squeeze in appointments with our doctor for us last week – dealing with mom, we had forgotten to make same until the doctor refused to renew our prescriptions because we were so late in doing so. 

Friday we drove to Pennsylvania and picked up our RV – the batteries are working and the entire electrical system was checked and was fine.  Husband is concerned about driving such a distance alone (as I probably mentioned when we had to drive it there) and also concerned about driving alone in the dark – the combination of the two, even more so.  We kept calculating when to go and what to do coming home.  We figured out that we had two choices – both involved trying to get the dealer as early as possible, having lunch at Wendys very quickly and starting home.  In one version we would immediately drive home, this way we would miss Philadelphia rush hour and hoping to avoid rush hour from NYC headed towards our home. The other version involved again leaving immediately after lunch to avoid the Philadelphia rush hour and driving to near the Golden Corral in New Jersey that I am sure I have mentioned before.  We would then go to some stores in that area to spend some time, then have dinner at the Golden Corral and then head home. With this version we should avoid the rush hour from NYC to home, but would be driving in the dark home from Golden Corral.  We figured we would decide after we picked the RV and while eating lunch.  The golden morning time to leave home and head off Long Island for us seems to be 8:30 am – we are following at the end of rush hour and are before the construction work on two of the major roads starts.  We we were out at 8:20 -since we were driving only our van, we did not have to waste time backing the RV out of the driveway (a process that involves walkie talkies and me standing in the middle of a 4 lane road road that has traffic that all speeds – which is why it a problem to begin with.)  We had figured we would get to the dealer between noon and 1 pm.  We got there just after 11 am.  We picked up the RV - “schmoozed” a bit, gassed up the RV and the van for the trip back, spent about 15 minutes having lunch and started home – confident that we would miss the rush hour traffic at both cities.  We did fine in PA – no traffic, NJ not bad almost no traffic.  One very quick stop at a rest area for me to use the facilities – so fast, I left my cell phone in the RV and husband waited out there so we did not have to shut everything did – I ran literally both ways and we were off again.  Then we hit Staten Island  (NYC) and there was traffic, but it was not bad – 15 minute part of the trip maybe was 25 minutes.  We then crossed the bridge to Long Island.  The limited access roadway we have to taken home was BAD.  How bad?  The signs on the bridge said not to exit to it, to exit to a local street that allows later connection to the roadway – which we take anyway.  It took us 2.5 hours to the dealer – it took us 5 hours home – and that was with arriving in NYC at 3 pm.  Another day of our lives – gone.

But the RV is home and working properly again – so all is well – right?  Driving home husband found that the brakes were squealing so today they were at our mechanic again.  He said they were okay to use – a problem sometime down the road as there is rust. 

Wait a second, have to run to the basement to switch laundry loads and check the heat in the PackTite.

Back.  Normally I have a load of clothes, a load of towels, and a load of bed linens each week with a load of jeans every few weeks.  With all this going on, I have not changed the bedding in a couple of weeks – no time to do so and saves a wash load (yes, I think ewwww also, but it will done soon).  This week I have a load clothes, a load of sweatshirts and nightgown – I bought 3 new ones and have worn a few of them and they don't fit in the general clothes load, a load of towels, and a load of jeans.  I also have a load of white reenactment clothing (much “small clothes” - undergarments, all of which are white) from our last couple of events and a second load of the rest of our outfits – next time we will need them is December and I want them clean so I don't have to run at the minute to wash them – some of the pieces need ironing also.  Just put the general clothes load into the dryer and the sweatshirt load into the washer. 


At the same time I have been going through the bags of stuff from the family home.  Being a crazy person who had bed bugs. I fill (lightly) our PackTite heater with some of the stuff and heat at it night – mixed with whatever fabric or paper items we have in addition to be heated.  Then the next afternoon I go through the stuff from the house after putting away the stuff from our house that was added in.  Today I went through the papers from our wedding – 40 years ago.  All of the response cards & envelopes – shredded, set up invitation with all the papers which were included and put it in the shoebox that I have as a “memory box” of the stuff I am finding and want to keep from all this, shredded the other invitations, tossed out the other response cards (no names, etc. on them), I kept the blank envelopes for the invitations – can always use larger envelopes, have set aside the unused response envelopes they do have my parents and name and address, but I will see if labels will cover same and decide if we are keeping them or they are being shred, shredded the receipt for the wedding (what a waste of $8,000 – I was right, we should have just gotten married & not bothered with a wedding), and shredded the seating charts and other papers.  I kept the box that it was all in.  Good box.  Apparently there is much more than my stuff in what my sister set aside for me – work papers of my dad's and other financial stuff.  I have a found a certificate given to my other sister when she graduated from high school (she is 55 now).  I scanned it, emailed it to her and asked if she wanted the certificate or what.  I found old bank statements and similar of mom's and even some of dad's (he died in the mid 1990's).  I found a dividend check for $4.50 that was never cashed – I will see if it can cheaply somehow be replaced – but 1994 was a long time ago.  More to do tomorrow after the current load is heated – this load also has some yarn husband bought for weaving project to sell and a new sweatshirt that I bought  - both today. 

At least every year I go through the papers from 10 years before and get rid of almost all of them – 25 years is a long time to keep bank statements and a check.

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -

So progress is being made on the stuff from mom's house. I am trying to keep up on household chores – dishes washed after dinner and after night snack (only meals we eat home).  Obviously laundry being done.  Towels changed and into the laundry.  (If only I did not hate changing the bedding and folding same after it is washed even more than more than cleaning toilet bowls – I figured it out – my arms are too short to deal with sheets easily.)

Any suggestions for my family and me about dealing with all of the stuff from the house?

CLEARING OUT THE FAMILY HOME.

I have several large plastic bags with stuff that we took from my family home.

I am not calling it mom's house as my sisters and I do as it is really the family home. My family moved there when I was 5. My (now) middle sister was 6 months old and “baby” sister was 7 years in the future. While I remember the apartment that my parents and I – and middle sister briefly – lived in before the house, my sisters have no memories of any other home growing up. It was a huge house to me coming from the 3 room apartment we lived in before. When middle sister was born I was moved from sleeping on the opposite side of my parents bedroom from where they slept (I often wonder how they managed to create my sister with me sleeping in their bedroom) to a cot in the living room. Since the only TV (a large 1950s console set) was in the living room I got to watch such late night shows as “the Late Show” (old movies) and the early versions of “the Tonight Show – back when Johnny Carson was just a page at NBC, California with my parents – or they could not watch them. I have been thinking a lot about those early days of our family lately – both as my mother is 90 and with the clearing out of our house for the sale of it. I have not taken a lot of family stuff as I am in my mid 60s and have no children to inherit any of the family house – it will eventually reside with my niece or nephew any way.

Since we had the bed bugs here in our home I am always concerned about getting them again. We have a device called a Packtite. It is the size of a very large softsided suitcase with a rack and a heater in it. It is intended to place suitcases in after one has been on a trip to heat the suitcases and what is in them to kill any bed bugs that might have come home with one. Because I am a crazy person, we have it set up with a laundry basket – that we drilled in holes in the bottom of to allow for air flow – in it and we heat any soft items – paper, fabric and the like that we bring into the house – that we are concerned might have bed bugs in them. So the items from my family home - mostly papers and needlework of mine from when I was much younger – all has to be heated.

I am doing so in small batches and have finished two large bags so far. I am going through these items I took when there or my sister set aside for me. (She said she had a box for me – I expected an office files sized box- there were two of them plus other stuff in the box she left.) It is a trip down memory lane and a record of what I considered important enough to keep at one or another point in time. I have found work appointment books from my early days in accounting (could have used one of them when I was positive that I knew a building in a scene on “Blue Bloods” and went crazy to find it and then figure out how I knew it – it was where a client had his factory – the work appointment books also have clients contact info). School grades – I did as badly as I remember. Lots of occasion cards – birthdays, engagement – ours and friends, anniversaries, Valentines (old boyfriends same went straight to the paper shredder), and so on. I have been weeding through – baby age birthday cards, one copy of wedding related paper items, cards from certain people – parents, sisters, husband, a few very good friends, a special aunt &uncle, my grandparents were kept – others were shredded. I found some remembrances of things such as graduation or awards programs – kept, articles I had published in the college newspaper – kept, personal diaries – kept.

Of course I am keeping my needlework – finished or not. I did leave behind two latch hooked throw rugs that were finished except for the edging as I figured they might sell and make a couple of buck for mom, plus husband said to me as I looked at them “Where would we put them?”. I did decide after leaving them if when we went back they were still there I would take them – but we did not get back while they were still in sight.

So I am trying to figure out what to add to the mess of stuff here in husband and my home, without going overboard. I was a bit “lucky”. My toys would have been the hardest to deal with and decide who “lived” and who “died” but the house was hit by Hurricane Sandy and the basement where most of the toys were flooded and they had to be tossed out then by the crew that came in and worked on the basement. Not only were they not there for me to deal with, I had already “mourned their loss”.

There were 5 items in particular that I was looking for. My Girl Scout sash -with my few badges and my annual star pins on it. I had put together a loose leaf book with hand copied lyrics to old folk songs. My dad had given me one of his army shirts from when he was in same during World War II during the late 1960s/early 1970s when wearing army shirts was popular. There is a stapled binding, thin, soft-covered book about our family in “the old country”. Lastly, when I was in high school I embroidered a table cloth. When I got married we could not find it, I figured if any of it ever would turn up – it would be as the house was emptied. I have the army shirt and the loose leaf book of song lyrics. The other items did not show up.

There has been a tag sale by a company that my sister found and much of the contents of the house are gone. We have to go in and clean and fix it up a bit before we sell it. The next day neighbor already is telling us about someone she knows who is interested in the house.

Just in case anyone is interested – mom has had her pacemaker (or its battery – story of what is to be done was different to my sister and me) replaced, so we won't have to figure out how to plug into a wall outlet if it dies. :-) She has also had (within the same week) surgery to remove a lesion that was causing her anemia. As of tonight she is back in her apartment at her assisted living facility – pretty good for a 90 year old woman I think.

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK - If you were getting ready of your family home – or your own home – what would you be looking for as you would want to make sure that you kept them?

DEEPER AND DEEPER

It just keeps going wrong.

MOM -

We took mom to have the leg scan – again – at the same doctor's office this past Saturday.  She had a 1 pm appointment and was suppose to be there 15 minutes before.  Husband was concerned about parking as it has been a problem when we have gone during the week and we figured that Saturday would be even more crowded.  There is free valet parking – but we don't valet park our cars so that would be of no help. 

During the week before this appointment we had taken mom to the doctor who will change her pacemaker for a presurgery check.  She came up a bit anemic at same and the scheduling of her procedure for same was up in the air.  One thing that will help determine if they can do it is this scan.  We arrived at the doctor's office at 12:30 pm – we found the parking lot strangely mostly empty – this had us concerned.  Since there was room we got mom out of the car and into her wheelchair at the parking space and wheeled her towards the door which goes directly into the doctor's waiting room.  The room had minimal lights on, no one there, and looked completely closed.  Just to be sure I opened the door to the examining rooms and yelled in “hello?”.  No answer.  The other side of the waiting is for a different doctor – it was just as dark.  The hall light to the rest of the building was on.  I started to panic – I had in my appointment book to pick mom up at 11:45 to get her there on time – was that a mistake?  Were we suppose to be there at 11:45?  There is another door into the building which has a desk and I said I would go there – husband suggested that walking out and then back into the building was a shorter route, so I left him with mom and did so. 

When I went in the other door there was a desk with what appeared to be a female receptionist and there was a man in a security guard's uniform.    I explained to the woman  - she stared at me and pointed towards the security guard.  I went to his side of the desk and repeated my story – though he should have heard it the first time.  He told me that no one was there – most offices closed by 1 pm and the doctor mom is seeing closes at noon so he had no idea of why we had a 1 pm appointment.  He also 31 B.  I asked what that meant.  He told me to go up the hall to room 31 B and ask there.  I went to same and told the man behind a reception desk there the same story.  He knew nothing either.  (This is a building run by a hospital group – and all the doctors in are involved with same.)  I headed back to mom and husband to say that we were leaving.

When I got back to them husband told me that a patient had walked through, seen them, told him to sign my mother in and someone will come.  He did so.  He had as much trouble with sign in computer tablet as I had at past visits and he had told me that I was crazy that I had problems.  We waited.  Husband saw movement in the offices on the other side of the waiting room, opened the door and yelled in.  A woman came out.  We explained.  She was confused as to why we would have an appointment at this time – I showed her the page we had been given and she took it, went away, and came back and said that the tech would come shortly for us.  Ah, at least someone was there to do the scan.  Nice man came and took us – I was able to stay with mom – and did the scan.  This surprised me – the office staff had told me that the woman who does the scan is only there Wednesday and some Saturdays – and he was not definitively not a woman. 

We then all went out for lunch at Wendys.

I then heard from my sister – after we had taken mom back to her apartment – about the anemia and the procedure might or might not be done this week.  I later heard from my sister again that there was a “Catch 22”  over mom's procedure.  Since she was anemic the (good) doctor could not do the procedure unless he knew why she was anemic.  To do this he needed to have endoscopy and another similar procedure done.  The doctor who would do same would not so unless the doctor who wanted them signed off that it was safe to do – which he could not do without seeing the results of the procedures. 

Mom has now been in the hospital for 5 days with tests being done and hopefully she will have the pacemaker changed sometime this coming week. 


HUSBAND - 

We assembled his new loom and warped it (put on the long threads to weave through).  He has been using it on a small table he bought for same.  He decided that he needs a stand for the loom so he can access the underside of it for some of the things he needs to do.  The loom cost US$145, the stand that is made for it costs US$100.  You can see why he did not buy the stand.  He decided he will make a stand – he is also an accomplished woodworker with a comprehensive workshop in our detached garage.  We went out yesterday (Tuesday) to buy the stuff to make the stand – but we had gone in our car and he decided that the wood he needed would not fit in the car.  So today we went back in our van to buy the wood.  It was raining and while he paid for the wood I got the car and drove it under the overhang to keep the wood dry. 

When we arrived home and went to put the wood in the detached garage, husband went into the house for the extra key ring he has (and I have one also) with the keys to the garage and our sheds so that we don't have carry them all the time.  He then put the wood in large garbage bags to keep them dry.  When he got to the garage – the out buildings key ring was missing.  I ran in and got mine and we put the wood away.  We then spent about 20 minutes looking for the missing keys – he was getting sicker and sicker.

VAN -

As I drove up  at the store to pick up him and the lumber he heard terrible sounds coming from the van.  As we drove home I telephoned our mechanic – who is no longer surprised when I make these calls – we go there for repairs on one or another of the vehicles seemingly weekly lately.  When he could not find the keys husband was getting more and more upset and excited – as he knew we had to get to the mechanic before he closed.  I finally convinced him to drop off the van and then come home and look more.  We told the mechanic if he found the keys to let us know.

HUSBAND – AGAIN -

 We kept looking at home.  To me, the keys to our house were not included so we would find the keys or we would replace the locks.  He envisioned someone finding the keys and going into the garage and taking all of his large power tools and taking the mowers and the snow blower, etc. from the sheds.  I tried to convince that we would notice someone emptying the garage of major power tools – and with a car in front of the garage it would hard, but he was too upset.  We checked everywhere in the house – I even took all of the dirty laundry out of the laundry bag.  He finally got himself so sick – he had to go to bed. 

I kept looking, sure that I would find them and make him feel better.  I went back outside – something he does not like me to do without telling him and I did not.  I looked around  - kicked the piles of leaves again, etc.  I was heading to where the van had been parked, figuring now that it was clear there, I might find the keys there.  I had put on an old pair of slip on sneakers.  As I walked towards where the van had been parked I stepped on something.  I was about to keep walking, when it dawned on me to see what I had stepped on – there they were – THE KEYS.  By this time he was too sick to appreciate them, but was happy that they were found.  We had a small dinner and then he went back up to sleep.

VAN – AGAIN -

 In the interim our mechanic called.  Problem is what he feared it might be – need a new catalytic converter - $1400!  I told him to go ahead.  I have not told husband yet and will do so tomorrow morning.  That will get him sick all over again. 

FINANCES -

We are missing 4 credit union statements (from same credit union).  Our credit union (functions as a member owned bank for those who might not know) decided to change their name and theme – to ones that are awful is as is the “puke green” (per my husband) that will be their logo color from now on.  The account statements went out late – even though they did not change.  We receive one each as a member, one each for our retirement accounts, and I receive one for my embroidery group as treasurer of same.  4 of them go to our PO Box – we had changed all 5 to same, but one was changed back to our home address.  We changed the address to our PO Box as we have been having, ironically, problems with delivery of mail at our home.  We received the statement which comes to the house, we have not received the others.  I have been calling and screaming at credit union employees about this.

Last night I was paying bills and noticed on my computer accounting software that we had a credit card that we should have a statement for – that should have gone out 3 days before to be paid a week in advance, but I had no statement.  I looked and looked.  I checked that I had not paid it and forgotten.  I then looked and the charge slips that match to it were never matched up – so we never received it.  I telephoned the charge card company, reported the lost statement, got the balance due (in full) and the mailing address and paid the bill with a letter – they will send a copy of the statement.  When I saw the date the statement had been mailed it hit me that the statement and the missing credit union statements should have come to us about the same time.  I wrote up the info to speak to someone at the post office when we went there today – it was pouring and I left the letter in the car, so I will do so tomorrow.  If I did not keep my bills to pay organized, I never would have noticed this.

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -

This has to stop sometime – right? 

The house is getting more and more disorganized. 

Things are started to get lost.

MOM AND MY FAMILY HOME

We are currently dealing with mom and two cardiologists. For those of you who joined since or have forgotten, mom is 90. Shortly after her 90^th birthday she started having problems (http://wheredidileavethat.blogspot.com/2019/05/sometimes-fate-is-having-fun-with-one.html) and can no longer live at home alone. She went through short term physical rehab at a very nice local facility and since then has moved into their assisted living facility. While they do a great job of helping her and taking care of her – mostly she gets around by herself - they have been doing physical therapy and she can walk with a walker better than she has done in years - and she is back in her full mind again from just the fact of having people around her and things to keep her mind active.

Back in August it was found that she blood clots in her legs and she was given medication. She was also referred to my brother-on-law's cardiologist who is also a vein doctor for followup scan about a week after the clots were discovered. I posted the story of that nightmare - wheredidileavethat.blogspot.com/2019/08/29 Her leg was not scanned. We ended up going back not the 3 weeks later that this doctor wanted, but instead on October 7 as it took until then to get an appointment. The scan was not done then either as the appointment was made by a third party appointment service for someone who does not do scans – understand we drove out to where mom is, got her into the car, took her to the doctor's office and had her medical history taken – and nothing else – TWICE (and of course her medical insurance was billed for 2 office visits). When we left the second time we made an appointment for the scan – for this coming Saturday (remember this is about 2 months after we were told that she needed to have her legs scanned right away and then a week later when her leg was not scanned - we were told it needed to be done in 3 weeks). Despite everything we had been told, the doctor does not do the scan, so after it is done we will first have to return on November for the doctor to interpret the scan.

Next problem – mom has a pacemaker. It was put in 10 years ago. The battery in it is tested every few months and the last test was at the start of October and we were told that the battery had less than 2 months left on it. Soooo, the replacement of the pacemaker was moved into priority. This came up shortly before the second time mom did not have the leg scan and we asked that cardiologist's office (per the doctor – they only do heart “plumbing” and we need someone who does heart “electricity” for this) for a cardiologist who would do this procedure as mom's doctor for same is an hour away where our family home is. We were upset that this doctor would have the same sort of circus for an office as the other, but it is quite the opposite. Mom was seen by this doctor (M) a week after she had been in the other doctor (B)'s office. Yes, she needs to have her pacemaker replaced. I was telephoned the next morning with two appointments – a week later (yesterday) for presurgery exam at hospital and next week she will have the procedure. 2½ weeks and this will be done – the other doctor 21/2 months and still nothing has been done!

In the middle of running with mom (plus all the car problems) I realized that I had to renew one of husband's medications and called the pharmacy. The doctor refused to renew it without an exam. We really cannot fit in a doctor visit for us right now – mom's pacemaker does take precedence, so I telephoned and explained and made appointments for us the first week in November. Ummm, I missed that we are going for blood work in the morning of the day mom is scheduled to have her scans read – and it is election day! Well, we work it out somehow. Doctor renewed prescription for 10 days – when we were not due in for 3 weeks – but we had enough left to work it out.

Then it occurred to me that the scan of her legs would be done between the presurgery testing and the surgery – telephoned the doctor doing the surgery to make sure that this would not be a problem – we did not want to give up the appointment that would, hopefully, finally resolve her leg scans, but the pacemaker is more of an emergency. It is not a problem.

My sister will get mom to the hospital for the pacemaker surgery as it is 9 am. We figured out that between allowing for rush hour traffic (as we do not live near where mom is) and then the hour and a half we need to pick her up, get her in the car, drive her the 20 minute trip (and again – it is rush hour, so need more time) and then get her into the hospital – at 8:30 – would mean that we would have to leave home at 5:30 am. My sister lives near mom and the hospital.

Okay, so 4 doctor appointments for mom, 2 doctor appointments for each of us, I have to go to a client tomorrow, my birthday falls in the middle of all this which is all within a month – and at some point we will be called to go pick up our RV out of state. We also had reenactment event, board meeting, and general meeting – which husband as VP had to run and we had signed up to do a presentation for the meeting – over the past weekend. And on the day between our blood work appointments and our doctor appointments I have my embroidery guild meeting.

That's a lot of stuff – well, we can go for weeks with nothing to do, so it is a lot of stuff for us to do. But that it is not all. We - mostly my sisters - have been working on getting stuff out of the family home so it can be sold. http://wheredidileavethat.blogspot.com/2019/08/clearing-out-my-old-closet-at-family.html A tag sale company is will hold a sale in the house this coming weekend. My sister had set aside of box of stuff she came across of my stuff. Since the sale starts Friday and I have to work tomorrow – we had to go today and get the stuff. I had hoped it was one or more of the items I told her I wanted – a tablecloth I embroidered in high school which has disappeared and a small book about our family in the old country. I expected a small, office size file box. There was a huge box waiting for me. Some was not mine and I left them for the sale, some we tossed out, most of it I don't really want, but much of it had my name or other info on it and I took it home to shred it. I also now have an embroidery that I made for one of my parents special anniversaries for them.

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -

I was about to write the thought of the week I was going to write about with all this going on I have kept up – I am doing the laundry, the vehicles are taken of…

Then I remembered – we checked the oil in the car today (it has a problem, there is a class action suit, and we hope it will recalled and fixed) and it was down ½ quart – and we forgot to add oil. Normally it would not matter and I make note to add the oil tomorrow, but tomorrow I am driving to almost Manhattan for work and will be driving in stop and go traffic, at least one way. So I texted husband upstairs (yes, I am that lazy) and he came down and we added the oil – in the dark.

Then I remembered – that it had been raining Sunday when we arrived home from the reenactment event and we had not unpacked the van – we had brought 2 folding reproduction stools, only one of our box benches, a flat table top, the legs to the table and a twin sized blanket (it was cold I used it to keep warm until the sun warmed up the air a bit – and then when it rained, it kept me dry.) Husband will be driving the van tomorrow as I will have the car – so we had to unpack the van.

What more can I say for the thought of the week than – it is life, it goes on, one has to do what one can do, when one can do it.

CAR - VAN - RV

Well we made it last Thursday to the RV dealer in PA – left at 8:30 am, arrived at noon – should have been 2 ½ hours was 3 ½.  We were able to keep in sight of each other almost the entire trip – which kept husband happy.  He was worried about traveling alone and we could not find anyone to go with him – the night before I had an idea (after he went to bed).  I took 2 of the smaller stuffed teddy bears I have (under 6 inches tall), put them in a small box and sat the box on the passenger seat of our van which he was driving to the dealer (so we could come home after we left the RV) and seat belted the box in place – if he felt alone he could just glance down at them – don't laugh, it worked.  We did have walkie talkies with us – which worked except for one spot that had static – so we could talk enroute.  I was in front in our RV so he could see me ahead of him and I could also let him know what was happening on the road ahead.  When we did this before (we had to drive the car and the RV both home from buying the RV)  we would meet up at each rest area on the 2 turnpikes we drove on.  This time there was only one of them available to us due to construction and closing of a rest area.  As we approached it – he was maybe 2 -3 cars behind me – I told him that while we did not meet up, I did need to make a stop.  No problem finding the RV dealer for either of us, which was good as they just got a new location for their service center.  We left the RV and left in the van. 

The RV dealer sales office was on one side of a road and the service center on the other.  There is a shopping center a block from the dealer where we have spent many a day while having work done on the RV and were worried that with the new location we would not be able to do so.  (Normally we just go in the RV and walk around the stores while they work on it, get the RV back and drive home or to Lancaster for a trip.)  As we drove to the shopping center, we looked – it is less than half a mile further away and there is a safe place to walk the entire distance – sigh of relief.  We went to the stores for lunch before starting home.  Since it was only around 12:30 it was a bit early for us – who normally eat lunch at 2 pm, so we went to a small dollar store located in the shopping center.  For some reason this dollar store always seems to have different things than other ones – found a small toy bear for the village.  Lunch at Wendys.  We then decided to visit a supermarket that was “sort of” on the way back to the turnpike.  Then we started home.  Boy, the rush hour traffic near Philadelphia is worse than that at home.  We got home around 6:30 pm – ordered a pizza for dinner – something we rarely do as it is too high in carbs for our Diabetes.  Husband went to bed right after dinner.

We had the weekend to recover.

Over the weekend we drove our van as we were concerned about the car and NEEDED IT to take mom to the doctor – she has trouble in getting into the car – the van would be impossible.  Saturday night husband noticed the van was leaking “something”.  Sunday we figured it was antifreeze. 

Uh oh!! We needed the van to drop the car at the transmission shop Tuesday morning.  We could not cancel taking mom to the doctor – her battery is running out – what could we do.  Luckily our mechanic is 4 blocks from us and he – and his guys – are very nice and understanding.  Husband was up first thing Monday morning, called him and we left the van with him right away, luckily mom was a 4 pm doctor's appointment.  While at the doctor's office I called and the van was fixed, needed a new water pump, well $500 isn't $1,000 at least - we picked it up after we went home from mom's appointment and stopped in Tuesday to pay for it.

Monday we took mom to the doctor – this one is to change out her pacemaker for a new one – the battery had less than 2 months left on it when it was tested a week ago – and unlike cell phones and many other devices, there is no way to plug it in and recharge it.  This doctor is from the hospital system with an office at the hospital itself, and we anticipated the same mess and confusion.  We were happily surprised that it was not so.  Mom was in the exam room just about the time of her appointment.  They scanned into their computer the papers my mom and sister had filled in, which had been mailed to her in advance and handed the originals back to me.  Doctor came in promptly – had a good, gentle personality.  He agreed that she needed a new pacemaker (they do not change out the batteries).  He also knew the doctor who had done the original procedure on mom 10 years ago.  We were called the next morning as we had been told we would be to set up the appointments for the procedure (exam and surgery).  We will take her for the exam – between driving out there in rush hour and needing about an hour and a half to get mom out and to a place 20 minutes from her we cannot get up early enough to get there for the surgery and my sister who lives near her will take her and we will meet her.  Drove mom back – I had arranged for her to sandwich in room as she missed dinner (does anyone eat dinner at 4:45pm?) and we settled her back into room after going to the wellness office to let them what we did and what they should expect to be asked for from the doctor's office.

Dropped the car at the transmission place Tuesday morning.  They could not find anything wrong – it is a little off, but not such that it can be fixed as it does not have “a code” yet.  So we have it back, but are concerned about driving it. 

So now it is Wednesday again.  I did manage to scan some magazine articles I pulled out years to keep.  I have not left anything undone that should have been done this past week.  Laundry is in washing – the timer is about to go off for me to switch loads… there it goes, be right back.

Back again.  I back up my computer each time I have a work session on same and then once a week I back it up onto another flash drive – monthly and quarterly on or about 15th of the following month I back up the computer again. I went to back it yesterday on the regular daily drive backup (alternate between two drives).  It would not do so.  I ended up copying my data drive over again new.  I tried to delete the old backup which would not update – but could not.  So I ended up copying everything else off that drive (flash/stick drive) to an external hard drive, then formatting the stick drive and then copying the data back to the stick drive – and we had terrible storms here that ended up with us losing our electricity mid copying back to the stick drive!  I had managed to back up the computer, data, calendar, and client data for last month and last quarter before I went back to getting the daily (B) drive back for use.  2 posts about how, why and when I back up my computer - http://wheredidileavethat.blogspot.com/2016/05/organizing-your-computer-data-to.html
http://wheredidileavethat.blogspot.com/2016/06/organizing-computer-files.html

I think I also posted that husband is not as regular in backing up and this has led to problems – most recently when his hard drive died and then the new one did also.  (He has had a lot of problems with his computer lately – all involved with electricity, so we just bought and installed a new surge protector for his computer – hope that resolves it all. 

Oh, we were called by the nice lady in our RV service department – the new batteries we bought (elsewhere, our mistake, trying to travel not as far) for the RV are no good.  Having read about the scam artists that the place we had them installed in is – we are not sure if there was a problem with the batteries or we were given bad batteries on purpose so that we would come back and give them more money.   Our RV service department is seeing what they can do with the warranty on the batteries before we lay out another $1000 for new batteries again.

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -

As crazy as we both get – luckily generally not at the same time – everything works out somehow.  One or the other of us will keep our head and get the other one/both of us through the problem.  Husband figured out to drive mom to the doctor and take the car to have the transmission looked at the day after same instead of trying to squeeze it into last week and having the transmission place not getting it back to us in time.  I figured out to put the little bears in the car to keep him company. 

Let those around you help you when they can.  Don't go crazy – look for alternative ways to solve a problem that seems too big to deal with.

Back up your computer – soon!

GOOD GOD ANOTHER WEEK GONE ALREADY!

So, we took mom to the doctor again.  I called and made an appointment.  When asked what the appointment was for I told them Dr B told us mom had to have another scan of her leg and we needed for the scan to be done.  Dr B again not available for a month and I accepted an appointment with a nurse practitioner “W”.  I asked if Dr B would read the test and was told that W would do so.  Well, it has to be done so, okay.  The morning of the appointment I called the “wellness office” at the facility that mom is living at to see if what info they would need from or have for the doctor and got their direct line/fax number.  The woman was surprised that we were taking mom for the scan – they can do at it the facility.  I explained that we did not know that. 

Picked up mom to go to the doctor.  Drove there – we allowed an hour to pick her up and have a 15 minute drive.  I was prepared with a touch screen stylus this time so I could check mom in (I don't show up well on tablets or cell phones) – still had to do it all twice.  The place was quiet and not a madhouse as it had been last time and I started thinking that maybe we just picked up a bad impression based on the one visit.  We were called about 15 minutes after mom's appointment time – I consider that normal and much better than the hours late last time.  W (a nurse practitioner) came in.  She had mom's file on the computer in front of her – she asked the same questions as last time – back to the start of mom's life.  She tried to weigh mom – ummm, woman in wheelchair who can barely stand with walker – and she wanted mom to stand on scale which had nothing to hold onto.  Did not work.  Then she asked why we were there!!!  Huh, this was set up on the phone call and the purpose of our driving 45 minutes to get mom and bring her there…  I explained again about the scan.  “There is no request for a scan on her record.”  I told the entire story a second time.  “No, no scan requested and I don't do scans only X does and she is only in on Wednesdays and sometimes Saturday.”  My BP was rapidly rising.  Apparently Dr B had not many notes on our appointment – then again he had take a call and left us to leave on our own so maybe he never got back to same.  She entered into the computer that mom needs a scan and told us to make an appointment at the desk before we left.  Well, that was an improvement, last time no one told us to do that and made a mess of trying to make an appointment for her.  I stopped at the desk.  We explained and also explained that we needed a different type of cardiologist (yes, cardiologist for her legs) as her pacemaker was checked at her facility and needs to be replaced within 2 months.  They made an appointment for us with a different doctor whose office is at a local hospital.  (And with the craziness in this office I have called the office to make sure that they do the procedure needed and to confirm the appointment.)  We also made an appointment for mom to come back and have her legs scanned and then a separate appointment to have the doctor go over the test with us.  My sister and I agree that mom's scan should be done at the facility she lives at and sister will discuss with mom and set it up as Dr B is BIL's doctor and mom has decided that he is god and she has to have test with him.  At the end of the visit we got a print out with what had been done (nothing, but it does not say that), a list of her meds – that we gave them – and the upcoming appointments.  After we walked out I realized that we had not received any papers like this last time – probably because the doctor never did the paperwork so no scan, and no request for us to make an appointment.  Oh and the appointment with Dr B that would be a month wait when I called for same  - 2 weeks.  When I asked why the appointment was made with Wendy if she could not do the needed test and why same was not scheduled I was told that when one calls one gets a central booking office in Florida (about 8 or 9 states away from here) and they have no idea what they doing – great setup!  We are not sure if this setup is a Medicare scam or just the worst organized doctor's office we have seen.  Another day wasted.

We are to go tomorrow (Thursday) to take the RV to our dealer two states away about the battery problem – but more about this later.

Yesterday we had our car at the mechanic for an oil change and husband mentioned a funny feel when he brakes.  Car needs transmission work.  Husband was suppose to drive the car while I drive our RV so that after we dropped the RV off we could get home.  Now it cannot be driven that far.  Panic set in trying to figure out what to do.  Then I remembered – we have the van also.  The van has not been driven out of state at least since we have the RV if not before.  I asked the mechanics and they say that should be fine to drive the van that far. 

Today is the last day of the Jewish New Years holiday and the most significant/solemn holiday of the Jewish calendar.  We need the car Monday to take mom to the other doctor – she could not climb into the van.  What to do?  We had planned on husband calling today (as I am not suppose to be doing everyday things today) and making an appointment for the transmission work.   Our heads have been swimming and we have been going crazy for a week.  If we don't have the car Monday either someone else has to take mom or we have to change the appointment.  While we tried decide about making the appointment for the transmission work – husband had an idea that relaxed it all a bit.  We would call Friday for the transmission appointment on Friday, take mom to her doctor on Monday and then have the appointment after same so all would get done – hopefully. 

So this week – Monday was doctor for mom, Tuesday car was at mechanic, Wednesday was my holiday, and Thursday we are going out of state to drop off the RV.  Another week gone. 

When I got home after religious services tonight set up everything up in the van and the RV for the trip.  Two sets of directions (I REALLY don't need same, but he insisted), spare shoes – it is suppose to rain tomorrow and we hope we get ahead of the rain and miss it, but in case,  spare eyeglasses for me, walkie talkies (hopefully we will stay close enough together to talk back and forth – when we bought the RV and drove it home separately we were able to do so), emergency snacks for husband in case his blood sugar drops low, and so on and emergency stuff for him - like the snacks – have to be where he can grab them easily while driving.

Friday I will get to do everything I have not done all week (I hope). 

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK -

It is the start of a new year.  It may not be a new year for you, but as I have mentioned in the past, every day is the start of a new year.  Please feel free to use this ancient start of year to start working on your organizing and decluttering – even cleaning. 

The craziness we have been going through started last year shortly after the Jewish New Year with husband's shoulder and arm going into terrible pain, luckily not the heart attack we feared – for what happened then -  http://wheredidileavethat.blogspot.com/2018/10/i-was-finally-catching-up-bit-and.html

We are hoping for a good new year and a change in how life is going for us.  I hope others have a good year ahead.