MISSED ANOTHER POST LAST WEEK - SORRY, BUT SO OVERWHELMED ALL OF A SUDDEN

 My apologies for missing last week's post – seems to be happening more and more.  Amazing how staying home a lot more (almost all the time) results in not getting things done in the house.  Always thought if we stayed home more (instead of going out daily for lunch at Wendys and wasting time walking around in stores for no particular purpose other than for husband to get out of the house) I would get so much more done – ha ha!

I was caught up last week in preparing for Thanksgiving,  For about 30 years I made Thanksgiving dinner for our two families.  Then when we stopped having our families (or anyone else) in our house due to having had bedbugs (and not wanting to EVER have them again) I made  Thanksgiving dinner for the two of us for 8 years with no problems.  Last year and this year husband has helped me with dinner – which for some reason leads to problems making the meal and finishing it on time – and a much bigger mess in the kitchen.  

Never buy a turkey bigger than one's baking pan – go smaller, not larger.  Husband has a particular market chain (two locations in our greater area) that he likes to buy the turkey from as we can get a fresh turkey instead of frozen – less figuring out the logistics of turkey cooking if one does not have to deal with defrosting.  Normally they have several categories of turkey sizes – this year they had two – 12 lbs and 20 lbs.  I had checked my notebook of past holiday dinners and knew we should buy 14-26 lbs (and even that I a lot for 2 people) and suggested a 12 lb turkey.  “NO NO!  That will be all bones and not meat!” I was told.  Rather than get into an argument in the store – we bought a 20 lb turkey, though I knew it was too big to deal with.  Somehow it all worked out though the turkey stuck over the end of the pan and its weight collapsed the rack it was on.  His solution - “We need to buy a big roasting pan and not use your baking pan.”  Oven floor is a bit of a mess and needs a cleaning from the drips.

In addition over the past several weeks we have taken my mom to the doctor 3 times (with another trip tomorrow).  This is the doctor with the office I call “the office from hell” as nothing ever goes right on their end (yes, I would take her elsewhere, but my sister insists on this doctor, who is her husband's doctor).  Though these 3 visits the office was not overcrowded and we did see the staff person we were seeing in a very reasonable time instead of multiple hours of waiting we experienced before the pandemic.   We also visited our doctor twice – once for blood work (before Thanksgiving of course) and our annual checkup this past week.  

At the same time I have my usual 2 year end urgent projects to deal with. I have to take courses (online) to be able to prepare tax returns in 2022 and I also have to complete the paperwork for a senior partial exemption of our real estate taxes.  These courses have to be completed by December 31.  Real estate taxes here are rather higher than elsewhere as same is just about the only taxes collected for our township and our county and costs are high here.  In other counties in the state each township handles this exemption with a minimum of paperwork.  Our county handles the exemption paperwork and determination of exemption.  I usually end up dropping off the application in two stacks of paper as I cannot figure out how to attach it all together  - over 100 pages.  This paperwork has to be completed by and at the county assessor's office by January 2 – which means by December 31, especially since January 2, 2022 is on a Saturday.  We drop the exemption papers off in person as one year there was a great deal of confusion, in general, about whether or not exemption papers had been received from people, so basically these papers have to be filed, in person, before December 24.

I have finished in advance a good part of copying the items I need for the tax exemption and have only the proof of expenses and income for our 2 businesses (which each make next to nothing) to finish copying and then I have to assemble all of the papers and add my summaries to it.  So, I started working on taking the exams online.  I have 2 of them finished – 5 credits of 20 required.  

It suddenly dawned on me that I HAVE to get the exemption papers done much sooner than I was thinking – as I said before December 24 if we are going to drop them off in person – and I have to switch to getting same done and prepared to start finishing it up do so today – but a new situation popped up.  I had to write and email out the newsletter/meeting notice for my embroidery chapter – and that took preference – and all 3 versions of it are out (members, prospective members, region newsletter editors).  

I also have an unusually large load of laundry to get done – normally one load of general clothes, this week 2 loads, plus a load of jeans.  Not sure why so many clothes – we did not dress any differently than we normally do or for more days.  

But yet – I have stopped to make sure I do not go 2 weeks before posting to all of you.  

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -

When overwhelmed – stop, step back, figure the order things have to be done by and pick the one with the closest deadline.  

THIS DOCTOR'S OFFICE IS NEVER ORGANIZED

 Sorry to post late again.  Yesterday was a short day as we had to get ready to take my 93 yo mom to a doctor today.  

Before the pandemic my husband and I had been “the schleppers”.  Since both of my sisters and their husbands work full time and we are mostly retired and both self-employed, we can better spend time, normally, to take mom to assorted doctors and similar.

During the pandemic it has been tried as hard as possible for mom not to leave her assisted living residence to decrease her contacts with people and her chances of getting Covid.  (Her residence has done what we think is an excellent job of keeping the residents safe and well from the pandemic.)

Since my husband and I are also “seniors” and both have medical conditions which further make us high risk for Covid, my middle sister, who handles most of things involving my mom, had to take over as schlepper also for some medical emergencies which arose.  

But schlepping mom in addition to sister's needing to deal with her husband's medical conditions and her own, meant that she used up all of her allowed time off from work.  So we had to step up and take mom today to one of her doctors.  

We don't mind taking mom – my husband says he even enjoys it somewhat as it is something different for us to do – but we REALLY don't like take her to one doctor's office.  Doctor is a good doctor – that my brother-in-law is alive is proof of that as brother-in-law has heart trouble and very nice - but his office is in a building which houses doctors who are part of a network.  It is dealing with the network that drives husband and me crazy.  

Our first dealings with this doctor and this setup was a nightmare – in organization and it this continues to be true.  We took mom there after she had been in the hospital and had to go for followup (he had not seen her in the hospital).  The followup was the day after she had been to the hospital and my sister had made the arrangements.  We arrived for her appointment and the appointment had been made with a different doctor.  After a telephone conversation with my sister – it was to be Dr. Q or no one.  With my sister, my husband and I all complaining the office staff setup an appointment with Dr. Q for mom – some hours later in the day.  We had lunch.  We ended up spending the time between in Barnes and Nobles – husband walked around looking at what he wanted to and I pushed mom in her wheelchair aisle by aisle through the store.  When we saw the doctor basically he said nothing needed to be done – and mom should be retested at a (fixed) future date.  

When I try to make appointments for mom they cannot be made with the doctors' office, but need to be made though the hospital system's setup – for a doctor appointment in New York State I have to telephone to Florida!

No appointment up to now has gone well and all involved sitting in the waiting room for this group of doctors for hours.  Nothing is done at the appointments – each time they take mom's information again and try to weigh her (she can barely stand – how can she stand on a scale and not hold on – I have learned to get the wellness office at her residence give me in writing her last weight taken there, as well as copy of her meds).

Mom had a problem two weeks ago and was taken to a local hospital as an outpatient – and was referred back to her doctor.  Since, my sister could not take her – it was up to us.  I told mom about the appointment during our weekly telephone call last week and again by telephone, reminded her the yesterday.   We over allowed time to get to her and get her to the doctor as we never know what the traffic will be driving out there (about 45 minutes away from us) or how long it will take us to get her ready and out to our car.  

Everything went fine picking her up and getting her into the car (not an easy thing to do).  Drive to the doctor went fine – but all this is the easy part.  When we arrived at the building his office is in (again, a building offices of doctors all associated with this hospital group – a one story building) there was havoc in the parking lot.  The lot was completely filled and they were parking one's car for one so they could move it as needed.  This has happened before, but never saw so busy as today.  Husband dropped mom, in her wheelchair, and me off at the door to doctor's office – we had figured on this problem and he had planned to stay in the car if he could not park, though he likes to come in with us as he worked in a medical related field and talks “doctor”, as well as it is good to have two people listening (mom's hearing is not good).

When I mom and I entered the waiting room of doctor's office I was shocked at how empty it was.  I had to sign her in on a tablet (theirs) based system – I remembered to bring my soft tip stylus to use on the tablet as I don't show up on it when I use my finger, let alone I did not want to touch a touch pad that other people have touching.  One problem is always asks for one to put their hand on it for sign in – not sure why and while my hand does not, of course, work for this – neither did mom's when she tried it our first trip there.  I made sure to wipe my hand down well with hand sanitizer after wards – is this the best idea, for everyone to touching their hands to these pads during the pandemic?  Husband came in rather quickly – he had been lucky a car pulled out and he pulled in.  

We were shocked when we were actually called into to see the nurse practitioner a bit early.  I had taken an appointment with her as the doctor did not have any open appointments until December.  Hmm, maybe things were not as bad as they had been?  

Nurse who took us in started taking doing a test on mom.  She talked with us about why we were there and then left room.  Yeah, there had to be a problem.  The nurse practitioner we had the appointment with was not associated with mom's doctor and did not work in the same medical field as we were there for!  As I was getting ready to scream and yell – “not easy to take mom out, not good for her to be out at all...” they said that they were making arrangements for a correct person to see her.  So we did get to deal with the exam today.  Told that what she came there about – she was okay, changed a medication to help with the problem – BUT – she has an entirely different problem!!!

So we now have 3 more appointments for mom – two for testing (3 tests – 2 given together) and one to see the doctor – himself.  

Not the most organize place to go and I am not sure if they had not made the mistake they would have done the EKG at all – and her medical tests at her residence's doctor have not shown any of the problems they say exist!

On the other hand – it was good to see her.  

Tomorrow it is suppose to rain, first day it does not, we have to put our car back together as it normally is and I have to move things I keep in the front for mom to sit in the front passenger seat as that is hard enough for her to get into, the back seat would be impossible.  

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -
Sometimes things go well, sometimes we have to deal with stupidity and there is nothing we can do about it.  As husband once said to me when I was upset when he was in medical office with similar problems - “stop getting them upset – they are going to be giving me shots!!”

WORKED ON CLEARING UP OUR STUDIO SOME MORE

 Sorry for the delay in posting.  We managed to get appointments for our first Covid vaccinations during this past week and it diverted my time and attention.  (We are both in our late 60s.)

Last post I was talking about working on clearing out our studio.  I worked on the area behind my work table.  (Husband and I each have 5 foot long table and the tables touch along the length – this gives us a 5 foot by 5 foot table if we use both together for larger projects.)  Items which were normally on top of my table as well as items that had recently been put on my table – craft projects from when I was young that I had brought from my family home when it was being – all had to be moved off of the table when I needed it for the food storage.  The items were not sorted through and ended up on the floor in front of the table as well as on my chair and on top of the items on the small side table to my main table.  (They make an L together.)  It has not been easy to get to the far end of the table where items such as spare plastic bags – sandwich size, gallon size, and similar as well as some of the less other less often needed items are stacked.  I should also explain that under my work table is the storage for a lot of the inventory we made and take to craft shows when we do same so that space is not available for storage for anything new.  

I started going through the mess behind my table.  I found items to be donated – forgot about them in the year since.  I found items I made while still living at home and put them in the bags that were holding other similar items.  I have to figure out what to do them.  One piece, which I had embroidered as a gift for my parents' fortieth anniversary and has come back to me, is framed and I had husband hang on the wall behind my chair in the studio – it had been on the floor in the dining room and I had been afraid that one of us would trip and put a foot through it.  I have to decide what to do the other pieces.  Most of the others are not framed and were never finished into anything.  These days I often finish pieces by basically making a small quilt of the piece so it can be stored easily in a drawer, as well as easily taken to an embroidery demonstration when I do same.  

I can now walk all the way to my small side table – the next mess to deal with as things have been tossed in it's general direction (and not always making the distance) since the area was blocked.  I had taken a plastic holder which has open storage of thread spools on it to get a spool and when I put it back – I missed the spot and the spools fell on the table and the floor.  I can now get my chair out and go around and clear up the floor around it and deal with what is on the small table.  

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -

When it is YOUR turn – do go and get vaccinated for Covid.  We all need to do our part to reopen the world.  I know several people who have died from it – including a young woman – a teacher – in her twenties.  

My sisters and I have not been able to see our 91 (92 end of the month) year old mother since last March.  Last year my sister went to see mom for her birthday and found the doors to her assisted living residence locked.  There was a cart outside with a note that no one was allowed in and if one had anything for a resident to leave it on the cart with their name and apartment number and it would be given to them.  So mom's cake and gift and left.  My sisters have seen mom – from the outside of a fence with mom seated on a chair inside the fence a distance away.  I have not seen mom as we are not going out except for necessities in over a year.  

We need to get vaccinated so that families can be together again – mom's time left with us is limited and we do want to see her  - in person – again.  We also need to get vaccinated so young people just starting out in life have a life ahead of them and so that children do not think how we must live for now is normal.  

FACING SILLY FEARS AND GETTING THINGS DONE

 Over the decades I have developed an aversion to the telephone phone.   We tend to get very few phone calls other than spam calls or calls from companies we deal with who annoy us about something.  I mean very few phone calls – less than 10 or maybe even 5, a month.  If the phone rings we freeze in place until we hear on the answering machine who is calling.  One problem is that I have learned if something is going on with my mom my sister will send a text unless it is a serious urgent matter – then she calls so that adds to the problem.  I also do not like making phone calls – needed ones or personal ones.  

I currently have a number of calls which have to be made.  I started earlier this week on Tuesday with a call I should have made in late September.  I telephoned our doctor's office and made an appointment for us to have flu shots.  Yes, we know one can go to a chain pharmacy and have the shots, but husband is needlephobic and the last time he had a shot (over 40 years ago) he passed out.  So he was worried about both the lack of privacy when getting a shot at a chain pharmacy and also if he passed out they might call an ambulance and he did not want that.  So the doctor's office it was.  Neither of us has had a flu shot before.  As always, he over read up about the shots making him more concerned. We are very concerned about going out in general, let alone a doctor's office due to Covid-19, but that was the very reason we decided to get the flu vaccine.  We went today.  We were told to wait in our car and telephone when we were there.  We presumed that we would wait in the car and then go into the doctor's office which would be empty of other patients – or perhaps one going in or out.  We were surprised that when we were called to come in there were about 15 people spaced out around the waiting room (it also serves a second doctor).  Luckily the shots went well.

I also have to call – since last month – the post office where our box is located.  I need to check with the very nice fellow I have been speaking with there about if our missing our bank statements were returned to the banks due to printed notations on them – related to letting the sender know if the address changed.  I also want to talk to him as we have now had 3 items returned to the senders – two items mailed to our businesses by our state tax department and one from a credit card company and figure out why these items were returned (and what else might also have been returned).  In addition we had actually gone to the post office late one Sunday night to see if the missing mail was in the box.  It was not, but 4 pieces of mail which should have been forwarded were.  I keep putting off this call, but I really have to get it done with.  

My embroidery chapter will be renewing its meeting room next month – though the rooms are closed and we do not know when they will reopen.  The chapter president who, unlike husband and me – has been going out – when to look at meeting room in a different park which she heard was larger.  Our room has been getting a bit tight and with the idea of maybe needing to social distance on our return (hopefully some time next year) to physical meetings, she had gone to look for other rooms from the same park system and found one.  She is not a resident of the area served by these parks and I am.  She and the woman in charge of the meeting rooms have been conversing by email and including me.  I suddenly realized that the form has to be notarized which means a trip, in person, to the bank - uh oh!  So I emailed the woman from the parks department and asked if there was going to be any allowance on the notarization this year, pointing out that they have my notarized signature from several past years and I was still residing in the same house.  (I am swearing that I am resident of the township.)  She sent an email back asking to talk to me on the phone.  I told her I would call tomorrow.  My stomach is turning over with dread, not over what she will say, but making the actual call.  (My neighbor works in real estate, if I do need the notarization, I will ask if she is notary, if not, I will have to deal with going to the bank for same.)

I have other papers on my desk that I need to make phone calls for, but forget what they are.

Plus Sunday nights I try to call my mom while I am cooking dinner.  I generally cook a frozen dinner on Sunday nights and do not need to do anything while it cooking.  Mom tends to call me at dinner time – generally just as I am about to start cooking on a night that I have to be active to cook the dinner and it is a problem.  So, I have taken to calling her either on Friday nights (I make a similar type of dinner then) or Sunday nights.  Mom either does not hear the phone, does not have enough time to get to the phone before it stops ringing. It rings 4 times and then either the voice mail from the assisted living residence or the answering machine put in by family for her answers.  I have taken to calling her several times in a time in a row to let it keep ringing longer, but even then she often does not answer.  I know she is okay because if she was not, my sister would have been contacted and she would called me.  

Now, I have been very good at calling banks to check that deposits (both mailed by me and automatic) have been received and also checking how much and when payments are due on credit cards and other bills as I currently mailing out payments sooner than normal and do not always have the bill in hand when I need to pay it – or since incoming mail is problematic these days since the corona virus stay at home started and we had to have the mail forwarded from our box to our house, to check that I am correct that nothing is due on the bill.  It seems to be the actual talking to someone that upsets me.  (I learned in the first months of stay at home to call about balances due and such late night as fewer people are calling then.  In early April one bill I kept calling about and the calls were not even  accepted to wait, I was able to reach the company (for a live person) at 12:15 am. )

I especially do not like make telephone calls when my husband is in the room.  He will tell me what to say and correct me (when I am not wrong) if he hears me making calls, so I have to make them when he is elsewhere in the house – which is not often these months.)

So I have been barely getting work done this week – too  busy putting off making the telephone calls.  Hence why this post is out a day late.

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -

Everyone has something they REALLY hate to do.  We all know that we have to do them and get them done with or the problem will be even bigger.  What do you hate to do?

CHANGES IN PLANS OCCUR AND ONE HAS TO DEAL WITH THEM

I had plans for tonight's post – but things come up and I almost forgot what I had planned to write about. 

We were suppose to take mom back to her cancer surgeon today for a second follow up visit.  I have spent part of the last two weeks getting the wellness center at mom's assisted living residence to do the blood tests requested by this and also by mom's oncologist and send the results to them.  My sister who sees mom a lot more than we do as mom lives near her, had to go in and talk to the staff to get the results sent.  I checked with this doctor and the blood work results were finally there – great, we could take her there today.  Oh heck, I had not realized that today was Ash Wednesday when I made the appointment.  Why does that matter?  Well husband is Catholic and cannot eat meat today – so for lunch he had to have Wendys fish instead of his usual lunch.  So?  Well, often eating fried foods makes his stomach ill and we were concerned about eating lunch, then having to drive out, pick up mom, take her to the doctor, take her back to her residence and then drive home if his stomach was bad.  But he figured he would be okay, but was not happy about taking mom to the doctor today.

Yesterday, the day before the appointment, I was called by the doctor's office - though they thought they were calling mom as we gave them my phone number instead – why? - you will see in a later  paragraph.  They wanted to move her appointment an hour earlier.  Big problem.  It takes, from the time we arrive at mom's residence, an hour and a half to get her to an appointment 15-30 minutes from there.  We have to go up to up to her room, take the big wheels off her wheel chair (or it is terribly heavy and does not fit in the back of our car and she cannot deal with getting in out van). Stop at the wellness office for a list of her meds for the doctor (easier than trying to remember).  Get her through the building to the front (only) entrance.  (Mom's apartment is literally the furthest in the building – top floor, end of the hall.) We then have to sign her out of the building – and we have to sign in as we run through the lobby coming in and then again when we leave.  We have found it easier to take mom to our parked car than try to get her in or out of the car in front of the building – curbs and sidewalk cuts are problems.  So we have to push her – uphill – to the parking area – either together or me as too hard for husband to do.  Then we have to get her into the car and stow her wheelchair.  Then the drive.  Then on the other end we have to park – where there is room for mom to get out into her wheelchair (we have to get her a handicapped permit so we can park in those spaces with her) and then get her into the building.  This last can be very easy to do – or hard – one building was on a hill with the building at the bottom of the hill and we had trouble finding the doctor's office – out and down hill, then back up hill – with both of us pushing.  Most of the doctors offices require one to sign in 15 minutes or 30 minutes before the appointment time or they cancel it.  Mom's lunch is at 11:45 am. Her dinner at 4:45 pm. If I make the appointment for 2:30  - it allows us to each lunch, drive out there, pick her at 1 pm and get her to the doctor – after she has eaten lunch.  Other than the “doctor with the office from h*ell”  she will be back at her residence, with the big wheels back on her wheelchair and settled in, in time for her dinner.  So 1:30 pm was a big problem.  We compromised on 2 pm.  

So now mom was going to have a problem with her lunch, husband was going to have a problem with his lunch – so I had a problem in general.  Then I had a thought.  I telephoned the doctor's office back and asked about moving the appointment to a different day.  Doctor would have plenty of time to her surgery and not rush us, husband did not have to worry about his stomach after lunch, and mom would not miss lunch.  First date offered was next Wednesday – my embroidery meeting and my only day out – no way.  We settled on a date in mid March.  Doctor's office happy.  Husband happy.  I had to call mom and let her know of the change.  I had been texting my sister as I went along in case she spoke to mom before I did, she could let mom know.  Mom is hard to reach, at least for me, by telephone.  By the time that generally I can call her in the afternoon – she is at dinner.  I figured that the best time to call was around 7:30 pm as that is when she calls me.  First time I left a message – but knew she would never get it.  I called another 4 times as time passed.  I went down to cook dinner.  Mom called,  “Did you call me?”  I explained.  “No, I never hear that there are messages.”  Huh, hear that there is a message, she has to look at the machine – and has being doing so for over 40 years.  Okay, go on there from there.  She remembered we suppose to go the next day and I explained about the change.  Fine with her.  We discussed it four times.  I also told her that if my sister called and said it was to be earlier tomorrow – that was old news and changed.  We did not get a call from her today asking where we were so apparently all went well with the change.  Mom is 90 and a year ago I would not question that she understood and would remember the appointment and the change,  but a year can make a big difference.

Next wonderfulness was our basement freezer.  We have a small freezer that we bought probably 30 years ago or more (it has out lived at least 2 refrigerators, probably 3).  We used to grow vegetables in our back yard in summer and would freeze the excess in this freezer.  Have not done so in at least a decade and it was being used for backup frozen vegetables and meat since, until about 3 years ago when we somehow switched to buy the food for dinner that day.  So it has mostly sat in the basement with some commercial frozen vegetables in it and a few other items.  Last year we used it when our refrigerator died and we had some items in its freezer.  It had about 4-5 inches of ice on the top coils.  Husband will not let me put frozen items at the back of the freezer in the new refrigerator – he read an article that the back needs lots of space for air to circulate – so I have (somehow) a smaller freezer in this refrigerator than our old and I cannot use about 1/6-1/4 of the space in it.  I figured I would melt the ice in the basement freezer so it could go back to being used – and since there was nothing in it as we used the last item stored in it about a month ago – this was the time to do it. 

I knew it would take a long time and would be messy. I had a plan.  I needed to remember to do this when we come home fairly early from running errands.  Today was the day.  We were home early and I would be making many trips to the basement at night to do laundry and could combine the trips down for both purposes.  When we came home I went to the basement and shut off the freezer.  I put in two large, deep baking pans – one on the right of one shelf and one on the left of the other shelf to catch the dripping water as I knew the bottom drip pan would not hold anywhere near enough and would be a mess to empty.  I grabbed lots of old used for junk purposes towels and spread them in front of the freezer.  I propped the door open, set an alarm for an hour and went upstairs to work.  An hour later – nothing had started – reset the alarm and back upstairs.  An hour later – still no melting, reset again and started to cook dinner.  After dinner while watching TV in the kitchen the alarm went off again. I went back down – goody!!  Two small puddles (dots) of water in one of the baking pans – it was working.  I went back to the kitchen – husband asked what I was doing.  I told him.  He had to inspect the situation.  He decided that what I was doing would never work.  He was going to use his heat gun.  Luckily he decided that was too hot.  We sat there for a couple of hours as he melted the ice with his hairdryer.  Dumping the baking pans and a couple of times the bottom drip pan into a bucket.  (I have done this before – just with a lot less ice – and knew that I would not be able to carry the baking pans or the drip pan to the sink without spilling.  Finally the last big piece of ice was loose and fell free.  After dumping the last of the water and ice into the basement sink he went upstairs and I dried the inside of the freezer. It is sitting with the door ajar to dry out before being plugged back in. 

Sooo, my post on doing your income taxes will be delayed until at least next week. 

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -

Plans are plans  - until they go awry.  Whether the appointment has to be changed for someone else's convenience or needs or what you plan to do in the house needs to be done differently than you think it will  - and takes more of your time as a result, or have you plans to write something and other items come up which need to be written about first  - they go awry. 

One has to deal with the changes and see what can be done.  If nothing else – the appointment change and the change in how we had to defrost the freezer gave me something to write about and you get out of hearing about income taxes for at least a week!

CLEARING OUT THE SPICE CABINET AND MOM'S HOUSE IS NOW CLEARED OUT

Well, mom's house is cleared out according to my sister.  The furniture people did not take much of the furniture as the pieces were “too large”.  Okay, I understand the living room sofa was custom made for the room and is a bit large – it is two or three pieces and goes along two walls, and turns in the corner.  (Let's see, my parents gave me y 6th grade graduation gift -a small portable typewriter – while we were getting the sofa so it is over 50 years old.)  I am not sure, but I would have removed the boards from the dining room table and set them either on it or next to it as with the boards it holds at least a dozen people comfortably and may have looked intimidatingly large with them in – and the boards were in to display stuff for the tag sales.   My dresser was a long one, but the other dresser that was my sister's and her desk were small.  The first fellow took the 3 night stands in the house and the chairs to the kitchen table, but the kitchen table was left and seats 4-5 people so it was not huge.  The dresser in the other small bedroom was smaller than mine, but larger than the small one that my other sister had and my mom's desk in her bedroom was a regular student desk so not large.  Gee, I wonder if they realized (my sister might not have known) that the long server in the dining in front of the window is 3 pieces – two cabinets and the center is a matching section that is empty with fabric on the doors – the radiator was there and this way the heat came through the fabric or the doors could be opened to let more heat into the room – someone might have liked either or both of the actual cabinets- 2 drawers and 2 shelves below – then again they would need to either take half of the large counter top or get new tops for them.  My dad had a lovely old, large desk – also rejected as too large – okay, if it hadn't been I would have taken it, but all I have room for is my old child's desk from when I was in second grade.  (Yes, I am that short – able to use my desk from second grade – still hit my knee on the same spot on the leg of the desk.) 

It bothers me that it does not bother me to have the house emptied and sold.  Will the actual sale make me breakdown wailing?  Has anyone else been through this and not gotten at least a bit upset?

We took my mom to the doctor with the office from h*ll last Friday so he could tell us what we knew from reading the report that was faxed to us instead of to her other doctor.  So all is well with that.  The doctor is very nice – no problem with him, just his office which is not run by him, but by the hospital group he is associate with.  While talking with him I mentioned a little about the problems (4 pm appointment, take in at 5:30,saw doctor at 6 pm) we have had.  Mostly asked if there is way to speak to him by phone as the phone number on the card goes to an office in a different state for making appointments.  He gave us a different number  - but only for questions, not emergencies as only answered during their open hours.  I also managed to, politely, mention that when we came in for the scan the office was closed, lights out, and no one in the building knew about the scan tech being there – he was surprised and said that someone should have been at the reception desk for his office and he would check on this. 

When first married we lived in an apartment.  Husband saw in one of my “ladies magazines”  a project to make a spice cabinet.  He took it and changed it and we made it.  It stands on the floor is about the depth of a cabinet across (used to sit next to the end of the cabinet in the apartment, now next to a small wall about the same depth next to our cabinet (behind the wall is the heat duct for the bathroom above the kitchen).  The original had shelves in the door with holes for test tubes to put spices in.  The one he made us has one shelf on each door with same – and knife blocks below them for our cooking knifes.  We actually put smaller of same in the holes instead of test tubes.  Against the back of the cabinet are thin shelves (cabinet is about 6 inches deep and the shelves are 3 inches deep.  The shelves hold spice bottles and such very well.  The cabinet is just short of 3 feet tall. 

I have the spices arranged so that the ones I use often are in a grabable spot.  But since husband has been cooking for the past 2-3 weeks as I was “covered in germs” - yes, he is that afraid of catching a cold – I had to look into the cabinet to tell him where spices he needed were located.  When I did so my eye fell on a bottle of something called Mrs. Dash.  I have no memory of buying it (well, I don't actually remember buying much of what is in the cabinet) or what the heck we used it for and made a mental note to clear out the cabinet as much as possible  and in my dreams of how much space I would have, dreamed of lining up cans of soup on the shelves where they could easily be seen.

Last weekend (we had reached the point where I was told that I would be “allowed” to start cooking again) and I decided to go through the cabinet.  Mrs. Dash, dill from when I made sour pickles, popcorn flavored saltt, spices that I don't remember using, and a variety of other items – OUT!  I checked a few spices to see what they were used for  - OUT!  Old Bay Seasoning (used on seafood, especially shrimp in the Baltimore, MD area and husband used to use it – not out, he thought maybe we might have shrimp and he would put it on same again or maybe even chicken  - I know it will be too spicy for him, I barely could eat it back then, but I kept it. 

Kept the basics – salt, pepper, lo salt salt.  Ground cinnamon (which I think I have used for some holiday dish I made) and sugar cinnamon (well, it tastes nice on pancakes or French toast) I kept – cinnamon sticks – out.  Nutmeg - used at Thanksgiving – kept.  Cream of tartar – useful for stuff – kept.  Minced onion, minced  garlic and basil -used for tomato “gravy' (sauce).  Bay leaves – used in a beef stew I used to make and plan to make again.  Allspice, ginger, thyme, tarragon, rosemary, marjoram, parsley, oregano – all kept, despite not knowing what we will use them for.  Kept a small jar of sesame seeds – not sure why, just seemed like something to keep.

Also we store in this cabinet wooden toothpicks – used mostly for crafts, but also for food related purposes. 

When I was done I had a half a kitchen garbage bag of bottles – but somehow I hardly picked up room in the cabinet – certainly not enough for the lines of soup cans I had thought I would I store there.  So, what to use the space for?  Well, we take at doctor's “suggestion” a number of OTC vitamins.  The small bottles of them (refilled from larger bottles kept in the kitchen pantry closet) sat on top of the cabinet – along with a candle lamp (looks nice and used in black outs), table salt and pepper shakers, napkin holder with paper napkins, a shop tape measure (meaning not a sewing one), 3 day of the week pill boxes (two his, one mine) and some “dropped there because it is convenient “ paper clips and other similar sized items.  It was actually rather crowded and some things would fall off the top when one walked past.  I put the OTC vitamins in the cabinet on the top shelf.  Now our day of the week boxes on top are no longer sitting between the napkin holder and front of the cabinet – subject to getting knocked off.

So in the end the work did not result in a lot of usable space, but it is better than before and the doors to it do close better than they have in awhile.  As I go along I will think about some of what I kept and if it can go also.

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -

Doing a small task might be what it is needed to get one started  - or started again – on working on clearing out things no longer needed.  If you find something small and think “well, dealing with that won't do much” if you do it, it might get you started on doing more – since the spice cabinet, I cleared off most of the stuff piled on my dresser.   It was primarily reenacting stuff left after our December event- small items put away where they belong and the clothes I wore (that reek of smoke) are in the basement laundry sorter – to be washed and stored away.  We have 3 plastic boxes in which we keep things such as OTC meds, sickness thermometer and such.  These items are kept in these boxes as the boxes fit in the bag we take when we travel in our RV with all of this – and our prescription meds fit in one of the boxes also.  By keeping the OTC and such in these boxes we don't need one set for home and one set for travel.  In the summer the boxes end up on my dresser (the bag they go in goes under our bedroom TV) and in the cold weather, when we are less apt to travel I put them in the upper shelf of plastic storage piece next to my dresser (in hot weather the spare blanket goes in this space).  So now they are where they belong for the winter and the bag is where it belongs.  I found more socks that were on top of the dresser for darning and now they have joined their need to be darned friends. 

So try one small task that you need to do and see where it leads.  (Now sorting through and storing what I brought from the family house – that is another story – what does one do with the proofs of the yearbook of which one was editor?)

MY COLD CONTINUES AND HUSBAND KEEPS COOKING DINNER, CLEARING OUT STUFF FROM MOM'S HOUSE

Been a busy week between doing nothing.  I still have the tail end of the cold I had last week – mostly coughing fits, which upset my husband.  He still does not want me touching things – like food and dishes as he is afraid of catching the cold. 

Eating dinner has continued to be an adventure. He used to be a such a good cook and enjoy it so much – no longer.  We ate out our usual 3 nights for the weekend, which helped a bit, but then we were back to cooking at home.  While out on Monday we stopped in at the Walmart Neighborhood Market (supermarket only) to buy stuff for dinner.  We came up with the idea of making a soup we like, for dinner.  It was too late to make it so we were going to buy what we needed and make it yesterday (Tues), but unlike Walmarts normally this one has a terrible produce deprtment and we could not find good potatoes or onions.  

So today we bought same and are making the soup for tomorrow.  Husband made it so I would not touch it. Now remember, he was always the better cook.  First thing to do is cut up the onions.  I would use a paring knife; he takes out the largest knife we own.  I didn't want to criticize, so I said nothing and hoped he would not hurt himself.  He did not.  Then onto the potatoes – he had major trouble as  he could not cut through them – they were not our usual red potatoes as same looked terrible, but similar edible skin potatoes.  As he finally started swearing I simply said “I usually use a small knife for that.”  He then went and took the smallest knife we have – the one I only use to open sealed food packages as it is too small to cut with – and proceed to cut the potatoes with it.  Then the meat had to be cut up.  The rest of the vegetables added were frozen ones – including some I had split into bags in the freezer when I made normal amount of soup in December at the holidays.  We have added more meat to make it a dinner entree this time.  I watched it as it cooked – stirring it now and then.  I just shut it off and took the pot off the stove to cool off.  It should cook 2 hours, I let it cook an hour and a half as it will cook again tomorrow before we eat it.  This also allows about 2 hours before we go to bed so we can put in the fridge without needing to put the pot in ice water to cool it off.

At the same time I have our clothes in the washing machine – deal with my cold is I put in washer, I move to dryer, he takes the clothes out of the dryer (because the heat of same will kill all the “germs”) and then he will hang up his shirts, but I can fold the rest.  I did not do other than clothes last week and probably won't this week either – what fun next week – plus our reenacting clothing still needs to washed and stored until the next event, probably in the spring.

Monday I had telephone call from my sister.  She had someone who could come and would take stuff from our family home for his non-profit thrift shop and we would get a receipt for the donation.  She also had someone coming today to take furniture, so could husband and I go on Tuesday so she did not have take off 2 days from work?  So we went.  While we waited for the fellow to come we walked around the house looking for certain items.  I should mention that there have already been 2 tag sales – one by a professional and one by my sister.  The fellow was amazing – he packed the stuff so quickly – and I was surprised that breakables were not wrapped – most of what was around the in the house in smaller things are now gone including several closets of clothing (including the gown I wore to his sister's wedding as a bridesmaid), all the bed linens & towels, drinking glasses (at least 2 sets of same), candle holders (lots of same), toys and anything else you can imagine – plus other stuff.  In our walk around the house before and while I wandered around while they were there (husband went out to the car as he was tired – we had to get there earlier than we normally wake up) some items were found that, yes, we took.  My mom had embroidered a lovely (large) wreath of flowers on blue velvet back in the 1970s/80s and my sister had asked if I wanted it and I had said no.  In the interim I thought about it and decided I wanted it, but when we were there just before the first tag sale, I did not see it and presumed that it had been taken by one of my sisters or mom had asked for it.  But it was in the dining room.  I looked at it and the frame was damaged and huge.  I told husband that I wanted it, but if we could get it out of the frame – that was great.  A quick trip to the car – we have all sorts of useful things in the car – and a large Swiss army knife was found (no staple removers in dad's office) and he pulled the staples out so I could keep the needlework. I plan to refinish it in the same manner I finish embroidery pieces that I make, but don't plan to hang up – as an unquilted small quilt piece. 

Our first stop was my dad's office.  We are still hoping to find the book about our family and husband wanted to see what show business books were there.  My sister had mentioned in the list of things that the fellow could take and what he could not take that there were office supplies in the office closet – so I had to look.  I am about to run out of what is called columnar paper – that is the accounting paper with number columns on it – and have not really wanted to spend the money to buy a new book of it – husband tried downloading from online, but it was not that usable – and I found a number of books of it in the closet – now here.  Husband found a book he wanted – we took that too.  Just before the fellow the arrived husband found 2 ceramic mugs from the Williamsburg Pottery – perfect to use for reenacting and not cheap – so we were putting them in the car when the fellow arrived.  He was very nice and I said, very efficient.

At first husband stayed with me in the house as we did not know the fellow and we followed him as he looked at what was in the house – as we walked around in my parents' bedroom I noticed a stack of tablecloths – there the long missing and looked for, tablecloth that I had embroidered in high school was there!  So now the only thing I have not found that I was looking for is that book! 

As I waited in the house as they went through everything my eye fell on 2 pewter, 18th century looking candle holders.  (Not antiques, just looking like.).  I picked them up and walked out to husband in the car and showed them to him – he agreed we needed to take them for reenacting – perfect for extra candle holders at the candlelight nights event. 

As the fellow was finishing he asked about several large black garbage bags in the kitchen.  I texted my sister – yes, they were garbage not stuff she was keeping.  He went through the bags and most of what was in them – kitchen items not actual food or paper garbage – he took also – another 2 cartons worth!

I have not yet spoken to my sister about the furniture man today and how much he took. 

It is amazing how much stuff a family of 5 accumulates over 60 years – and I know that mom was always donating stuff to different organizations.  One thing I can say – We do have less stuff than my family did – well, there are the teddy bears - larger and smaller - and their friends…

So think about it – when one day your house has to be cleared out – how much will there be?  Enough for children to take what they want, plus 2 tag sales, plus a thrift shop truck load, plus…? 

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK -

Try looking through one room – perhaps your kitchen or your living room – anything there you no longer like?  Did you buy new set of dishes and still have the old set?  Every one item that you get rid of is one less for the thrift shop man to come and take later.

HOW WAS YOUR FIRST WEEK OF THE NEW YEAR - I CAUGHT A COLD

So here we are, a week into a new year.  Hard to believe.

First, something I heard on TV, that is very true.  Many of us date things in this format – 01/01/20 for January 1, 2020.  Do not use the 20 on it's own for the year.  Why, when you have always done this?    Well, if you write 01/01/20, the year part of the date can be changed in the future to any year in this year in this decade – such as 01/01/2021  or 01/01/2029 – see what I mean – in theory the date would not run out for 10 years on say a blank check or memo note, etc.  So instead date things as 01/01/2020 to avoid problems.

So how has your organizing, cleaning, etc. been going this year?  Mine not so much.  I managed to come down with a cold last week – not anything major, just enough to make me miserable.  Husband is  a hypochondriac.  So when I get sick he does not want me to touch anything – I even get my 2 liter soda bottle with an X on it so he does not touch it.  Biggest problem is cooking and dishes. 

We normally eat lunch out so that is easy.  But he does not want me to cook dinner with my germ covered hands.  When we were younger, had more money and there were more places at which we could afford to eat dinner, we would go out for dinner or bring stuff in.  Not really a choice any more other than the weekly dinner at Ikea, at Wendys and at the Asian buffet.  One night in a week we can deal with deli turkey (even though we ate same 5 times in 2 weeks while doing the event with our reenactment unit in the last 2 weeks).  But night after night?   We brought in Chinese food one night  - husband looked around for the paper goods – something new for us, we never used to have paper plates, bowls, cups, etc. as we considered it wasteful – last year he bought all of these for use in our RV and we had used them last time I had a “bug”, but when I finally was able to clear out the dining room – it all went out to the RV.  He found plastic plates in the basement – intended for craft use – and there is plastic tablewear in the secretary in the living room.  But as he unpacked the Chinese soup he was upset about not having a paper bowl for the soup – my suggestion - “there” is a stack of previous soup containers brought in – all washed and ready for use – he was not happy, but it did the trick.  He keeps saying that we need to replace the (non-working) dishwasher if just for when I am sick.  (I had figured out that it took me the same time to wash the dishes, etc as it did to load the machine and then rewash what did not wash – plus reading about the new machines they seemed too much work with the need to clean filters and other things.  (Our original dishwasher came with the house or we never would have had one – though we did replace that one once.)  My solution is to put on disposable plastic gloves when I wash the dishes.

We were not sure if we were to have snow today (report changed constantly and TV news did not agree channel to channel) so we made sure that we had lunch for today and dinner when we shopped yesterday.  (I used to be organized – read the store circulars, had a shopping list, bought stuff on sale and used the saved coupons – but now with him along – we food shop just about day by day and due to changes in the coupons available and what we can eat and use – coupons that match what we buy are rare.  I still have a shopping list, instead of being a paper on the fridge (if we need more – add it or we won't have it) it is in my cell phone – the other day I tried to remove an item as bought it – and the entire list erased itself and since it can only synced automatically – the computer version was pffft also.  Luckily husband managed to bring up a list from the day before for me.  Some things really are better on paper.

It did not snow enough to matter, went out for lunch and tonight we were having turkey sausages with macaroni (pasta – he is Italian by background all types of pasta are called macaroni).  He is cooking as I am sick.  Despite my hinting “am I cooking tonight or you?” about an hour before dinner, we did not get downstairs to cook until about 20 minutes before we would normally eat dinner.  I was out of tomato “gravy” (sauce to you and me).  I had mentioned this when we picked this dinner and he said “no problem”.  So we are very late starting to make dinner and he has to make “the gravy” - something he actually taught me how to do from his mom's recipe (which for some reason is simpler and quicker by about 5 and a half hours than the recipe his sister makes which she says is how their mom made it.)  He should know what he is doing since he taught me – right?

“What do I start first, the gravy or the water for the macaroni?” he asked.  “Heating the pan for the sausages” - my reply.  I tell him which (cast iron) pan to take out - “you need the one without the ridges.”  He starts to take the one with the ridges – the one that last time I used it, filled our kitchen with smoke and the smoke detector would not go off for hours and I have still had not had a chance to clean it http://wheredidileavethat.blogspot.com/2018/07/not-in-pennsylvania.html  He took out the correct pan and put it on the stove – turned on the burner for it to heat.  Then I had him start the water to boil – I have to tell him which pot for which food.  Then we started making the gravy.  I make 2 large cans of tomatoes with 2 small cans of tomato sauce.  Lately I have been using one large can of petite diced tomatoes and one of puree – gives him the pieces of tomatoes and also a thicker liquid than if I just used the tomatoes.  “What do I add to it?” - Sheesh – he taught me – and I point him to the spice cabinet (built by him to fit our apartment kitchen, but fit perfectly here also – noticed that I need to clear it out as there is a lot of stuff that we have not used in decades and will not use again, such as “Mrs. Dash” - I mostly just stick my hand in and pull out what I need – showing him where, made me notice this – new job to do.  Macaroni added to the boiling (no salt no oil) water.  “What now” -he said exasperated.  I told him to take some water on his finger and drop in the pan - “If it dances it is ready”.  It did and he added the sausages.  Now, it took him longer to add the items to the gravy than it would take me to cook the gravy, so we are even further behind.  Next though, was to heat the leftover half can of soup for him to have soup before dinner. 

So eventually we had dinner.  I got sick – I won't say it was his cooking… Then to wash the dished I put on disposable gloves and washed them – they are air drying now. 

My embroidery group met today.  I did not go.  I thought and thought about where I could sit in the relatively small room we meet in and not infect all of the other members, then realized that the proper thing to do was not to go.  So last night I telephoned the group president and told her and that I would email the treasurer's report to her and to the secretary.  I wrote it and emailed it.  This afternoon I checked my email – I had sent them both the January 2019 minutes instead of the treasurer's report – so now I will email to the chapter members. I have to stop messing up and needing to do things over and over. 

I had planned on running errands today that are easier to run without husband, but since I did not go to the meeting – we were together – he actually did not complain about the errands, some of which annoy him.   We went to our reenactment unit's bank and I redeposited some cash as I had needed to take out some cash and we needed less than we thought.  I also got a copy of the cash check as we have a grant and the cash was for part of the costs of same and we need to submit all copies of all checks, deposits and a lot of other paperwork – with a check sending back the excess of the grant money to the non- profit which gave us the grant and when I got home later I emailed copies of everything I had to the member who got us the grant and is handling the paperwork. Hopefully something done on the first try.   

We went to our bank vault – I keep my “offsite data backup” in it.  I used to make a data backup once a month and send to work with husband and he would bring home the one I sent with him the month before.  When he quit his job, I needed an alternative – our bank vault became the alternate.  (I use 2 USB flash drives – one is at the bank, other is here to update the next month.)  We got one of the “platform” employees that is good and I figured, okay husband won't be getting upset. But when we went to go into the vault area with the employee – we had to wait as other employees were in there on bank business – that annoyed him. 

Not doing laundry tonight (I start on Wednesday nights and continue into Thursday – Friday if needed) due to my cold – I figure to give it another day of recovery before I start.  Since the washer and dryer were not being used, husband washed a scarf he finished weaving  ( just a minute – I have to double check that he shut off the water to the washer – afraid if the hose breaks it will make a mess in basement, so we keep the water to the hose shut off when not in use. …… He did shut the water off, but did not push in control of the washer to make sure it was off. 

So how was your first week of the new year?

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -
Treat the new year as a new opportunity for a clean slate – but don't go crazy trying to change everything at once – change one small thing and keep at it – then when that is going well – change another and continue and so on.

STILL TOO MUCH NEEDING TO BE DONE

That was a short week!  We have taken mom to two doctors in the past week.  One was a happy checkup with the doctor who replaced her pacemaker.  The other was a not as happy appointment with the doctor who did cancer surgery on her.  There is still some cancer and we have to take her to an oncologist.  Treatment recommendation by this doctor was based on mom's age – 90 – and the fact that it is a slow growing cancer.  I should mention after complaining about another doctor's office, both of these were great with helpful staff and no hours of waiting.  We still have to take her back to the doctor about her leg scan (the one with the awful office/staff setup) and then there are about another 4 doctors she needs to go to.

In between these appointments I have been trying to get our senior real estate tax exemption worked on and I should have all or almost all of the paperwork I need.  I will have to check each section's numbers against the paperwork for it and we have to copy all of it and I do so with a page that has our names, the section, block, and lot number of the property and the year the papers apply to written at the top (with the computer).  This page is put behind the items I copy as I do so that so that the finished copy will have this info at the top in case any pages get separate from the others – I am glad I have a heavy duty stapler that staples thick stacks of papers as there will a lot of papers.  I have already done our 1099s & similar and our medical expenses.  I have to mostly deal with our businesses expenses – I will do the joint expenses first (car expenses and some other ones have to be split between our two businesses and also from personal use), then husband's business as it is easier and finally my business. This has to be there before the end of December and I figure the earlier the better.  I was getting all this done quickly and early when I found out that they had added need for proof of business income and expenses. 

I also have to renew my permissions to prepare tax returns from Federal and state governments.  Federal mailed in already and I did the state application online – the only way it can be done.  I still need to finish the required tests for the Federal paperwork.  One test for 1 credit done, 19 more credits to go.  It will be done – it only one test for 6 credits that always concerns me as it has a time limit. 

I have still been heating the paperwork from my family home in small groupings in our PackTite heater (for bedbugs).  I found out that among the papers my sister gave me is my parents income taxes – back to the 1950s as well as the papers related to the purchase of the house back in 1958-9 and my dad's release from the military paperwork.  I commented to husband that I know their old taxes are no longer needed and I should just check through them and shred them – but – dad always told me that one keeps copies of client's taxes as long as they are clients and then at least another 3 years, so by that logic I should keep them.  I have discussed it with husband and will scan them into the computer and shred the originals. 

I got behind with the laundry last week – it was done, but not all was folded or put away, so I had to do same tonight before I started this week's laundry – first load is in washing now, when the ringer in cell phone goes off, I will go down and switch to dryer and put in another load to wash.  Just happened – will be right back – feel free to talk among yourselves until I do.

Back again. 

As I have mentioned in the past year, I have been having a problem keeping track of papers – something I have never had before.  In October our reenactment unit had an event.  I know and remember that the unit commander (club president) had asked me if I had brought the checkbook – which I didn't as it is safer to keep it home. Since he did, I assumed that he had given me a bill for something for the unit to reimburse him for.  ¾ of the way through the day it had started raining and we along with most members had brought their stuff inside our headquarters building and then at the end of the day I had brought our van back to the area where we had been setup and we packed it quickly to avoid getting things wet.  Two days later I started looking for the bill that I had to reimburse the commander for.  I could not find them.  We did not actually bring the stuff in from the van until the end of that week.  I went through everything again and climbed under the seats in the van looking for the bill.  Husband than threw another thought at me – at an event the unit did in September the place wrote the check payable to the commander personally instead of to the unit – and husband said that what I was remembering was probably the commander giving me his check as we had told him to deposit the check and then write the unit a check.  So was I missing the bill to pay him for?  The check he gave me for the that event?  Both?  A week in I had written him an email explaining and apologizing and asking him to let me know how much the unit owed him.  (I did not mention the check he owed the unit.)  He did not get back to me.  I have been “sick” with the idea that I lost a bill to pay, as well as maybe the check he wrote to the unit.  I brought the checkbook to the meeting this past Monday to settle up.  Whew! Nothing was lost.  He had asked me about the checkbook in reference to another matter that did not materialize and he told me that not only does the unit not owe him money, but he owes us the money from the check that he deposited.  It was a wonderful relief to know that I had not been careless and lost neither bill nor check. 

I have to complement and thank my husband.  He has been insisting on helping me with my mom and the doctors.  My mom is well, a 90 year old opinionated woman who does not hear well.  (One of the doctors we still have to go to is for hearing aids – but the other doctors are more urgent).  He has been wonderful with her.  One advantage to having him along is that he speaks “medical” and can talk to the doctors on a different level than mom or I can.  (He was the head of a mental health agency and had doctors working under him.)  He understands what the doctors are saying better than either of us and knows when and how to ask questions.  Part of why he comes is I helped with his mother when she needed same (although his sister handled the medical and I handled the financial), especially since he butted heads a lot with his sister and mother over how things should be handled, so I sort of ran interference by going while he was at work to help her.  Part of it is he does not like being home alone.  Part of it is that he know he can help a lot. 

We still have not really done any planning for (American) Thanksgiving.  Since he has become lactose intolerant (or so it seems) since last year, two of his favorite dishes may not be made for him, especially since I like neither – pumpkin pie and Colonial Williamsburg Sweet Potatoes (no marshmallows, of course).  The former uses evaporated milk and the later uses regular milk –  1/3 of ¼ cup of same (original recipe for 3 lbs sweet potatoes, I make him 1 pound).  We will see.  We are debating if I should make the vegetable soup that I used to make for the family for Thanksgiving dinner – I figured out how to cut it down and make ¼ of the amount of soup I used to make or even 1/8 of same, but it is one that we like and gets better reheated.  (I would make the entire recipe and reheat over the winter, but it has potatoes in it and they do not do well with being frozen, so I need to cut it down to what we can manage to eat without needing to being frozen to keep long enough.)  The alternative is to make a different Pennsylvania Dutch soup called Chicken corn soup.  We will see which he prefers.  Our normal menu was the Vegetable soup (cooked on the day before Thanksgiving as it takes a while to cook), turkey of course, stuffing, mashed potatoes, green beans, the sweet potatoes, and gravy.  I did not cook the turkey as husband liked it better from a commercial oven – he says it is crisper.  When we started (I had never cooked a turkey) we found a local place that cooked turkeys with a hot pick up just about when we needed it – my sister and her family would stop and pick it up on the way here for us.  Three years ago we had run places to go to for Thanksgiving dinner for just the two of as we were no longer having family in for same, and I had to cook the turkey.  I did so and it was fine.  The following year I cooked it from the same place following their directions and it did not cook through, we ended up cutting off pieces and cooking them separately.  I figured out that the packaging had 2 different temperatures and I must have used the higher one first year and the lower one second year.  Last year I used the higher temperature and put the turkey in upside down and turned it over part way through and it was cooked through and I will remember to do so this year again.  In the old days there would have been the pumpkin pie and I would bake an apple pie and Venetians (rainbow cookies).  No need for so much dessert for the two of us, especially since neither of us should be having same at all.  

(And I will have to find time to post the night before while I am generally cooking.)

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -

As it says in the “Hitchhikers Guide to the Universe” - DON'T PANIC!  Things seem to work out in the end.  We managed to get the appointments we needed to get right away for mom.  The real estate tax exemption will get done and in on time.  The exams will be taken on time.  Laundry will be caught up tonight.  The missing papers were not missing.  Thanksgiving dinner will get a menu and will be cooked. 

RV, VAN AND OLD PAPERS

Another week, another post.  Mom had 2 surgeries within a week and is now back in her apartment at the assisted living facility.  We will taking her Friday back to the doctor who changed her pacemaker for a checkup and I have to make an appointment for same with the doctor who did her cancer surgery as well as with the one involved with her leg scan as it still has not has been discussed with her.  We did squeeze in appointments with our doctor for us last week – dealing with mom, we had forgotten to make same until the doctor refused to renew our prescriptions because we were so late in doing so. 

Friday we drove to Pennsylvania and picked up our RV – the batteries are working and the entire electrical system was checked and was fine.  Husband is concerned about driving such a distance alone (as I probably mentioned when we had to drive it there) and also concerned about driving alone in the dark – the combination of the two, even more so.  We kept calculating when to go and what to do coming home.  We figured out that we had two choices – both involved trying to get the dealer as early as possible, having lunch at Wendys very quickly and starting home.  In one version we would immediately drive home, this way we would miss Philadelphia rush hour and hoping to avoid rush hour from NYC headed towards our home. The other version involved again leaving immediately after lunch to avoid the Philadelphia rush hour and driving to near the Golden Corral in New Jersey that I am sure I have mentioned before.  We would then go to some stores in that area to spend some time, then have dinner at the Golden Corral and then head home. With this version we should avoid the rush hour from NYC to home, but would be driving in the dark home from Golden Corral.  We figured we would decide after we picked the RV and while eating lunch.  The golden morning time to leave home and head off Long Island for us seems to be 8:30 am – we are following at the end of rush hour and are before the construction work on two of the major roads starts.  We we were out at 8:20 -since we were driving only our van, we did not have to waste time backing the RV out of the driveway (a process that involves walkie talkies and me standing in the middle of a 4 lane road road that has traffic that all speeds – which is why it a problem to begin with.)  We had figured we would get to the dealer between noon and 1 pm.  We got there just after 11 am.  We picked up the RV - “schmoozed” a bit, gassed up the RV and the van for the trip back, spent about 15 minutes having lunch and started home – confident that we would miss the rush hour traffic at both cities.  We did fine in PA – no traffic, NJ not bad almost no traffic.  One very quick stop at a rest area for me to use the facilities – so fast, I left my cell phone in the RV and husband waited out there so we did not have to shut everything did – I ran literally both ways and we were off again.  Then we hit Staten Island  (NYC) and there was traffic, but it was not bad – 15 minute part of the trip maybe was 25 minutes.  We then crossed the bridge to Long Island.  The limited access roadway we have to taken home was BAD.  How bad?  The signs on the bridge said not to exit to it, to exit to a local street that allows later connection to the roadway – which we take anyway.  It took us 2.5 hours to the dealer – it took us 5 hours home – and that was with arriving in NYC at 3 pm.  Another day of our lives – gone.

But the RV is home and working properly again – so all is well – right?  Driving home husband found that the brakes were squealing so today they were at our mechanic again.  He said they were okay to use – a problem sometime down the road as there is rust. 

Wait a second, have to run to the basement to switch laundry loads and check the heat in the PackTite.

Back.  Normally I have a load of clothes, a load of towels, and a load of bed linens each week with a load of jeans every few weeks.  With all this going on, I have not changed the bedding in a couple of weeks – no time to do so and saves a wash load (yes, I think ewwww also, but it will done soon).  This week I have a load clothes, a load of sweatshirts and nightgown – I bought 3 new ones and have worn a few of them and they don't fit in the general clothes load, a load of towels, and a load of jeans.  I also have a load of white reenactment clothing (much “small clothes” - undergarments, all of which are white) from our last couple of events and a second load of the rest of our outfits – next time we will need them is December and I want them clean so I don't have to run at the minute to wash them – some of the pieces need ironing also.  Just put the general clothes load into the dryer and the sweatshirt load into the washer. 


At the same time I have been going through the bags of stuff from the family home.  Being a crazy person who had bed bugs. I fill (lightly) our PackTite heater with some of the stuff and heat at it night – mixed with whatever fabric or paper items we have in addition to be heated.  Then the next afternoon I go through the stuff from the house after putting away the stuff from our house that was added in.  Today I went through the papers from our wedding – 40 years ago.  All of the response cards & envelopes – shredded, set up invitation with all the papers which were included and put it in the shoebox that I have as a “memory box” of the stuff I am finding and want to keep from all this, shredded the other invitations, tossed out the other response cards (no names, etc. on them), I kept the blank envelopes for the invitations – can always use larger envelopes, have set aside the unused response envelopes they do have my parents and name and address, but I will see if labels will cover same and decide if we are keeping them or they are being shred, shredded the receipt for the wedding (what a waste of $8,000 – I was right, we should have just gotten married & not bothered with a wedding), and shredded the seating charts and other papers.  I kept the box that it was all in.  Good box.  Apparently there is much more than my stuff in what my sister set aside for me – work papers of my dad's and other financial stuff.  I have a found a certificate given to my other sister when she graduated from high school (she is 55 now).  I scanned it, emailed it to her and asked if she wanted the certificate or what.  I found old bank statements and similar of mom's and even some of dad's (he died in the mid 1990's).  I found a dividend check for $4.50 that was never cashed – I will see if it can cheaply somehow be replaced – but 1994 was a long time ago.  More to do tomorrow after the current load is heated – this load also has some yarn husband bought for weaving project to sell and a new sweatshirt that I bought  - both today. 

At least every year I go through the papers from 10 years before and get rid of almost all of them – 25 years is a long time to keep bank statements and a check.

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -

So progress is being made on the stuff from mom's house. I am trying to keep up on household chores – dishes washed after dinner and after night snack (only meals we eat home).  Obviously laundry being done.  Towels changed and into the laundry.  (If only I did not hate changing the bedding and folding same after it is washed even more than more than cleaning toilet bowls – I figured it out – my arms are too short to deal with sheets easily.)

Any suggestions for my family and me about dealing with all of the stuff from the house?

CLEARING OUT THE FAMILY HOME.

I have several large plastic bags with stuff that we took from my family home.

I am not calling it mom's house as my sisters and I do as it is really the family home. My family moved there when I was 5. My (now) middle sister was 6 months old and “baby” sister was 7 years in the future. While I remember the apartment that my parents and I – and middle sister briefly – lived in before the house, my sisters have no memories of any other home growing up. It was a huge house to me coming from the 3 room apartment we lived in before. When middle sister was born I was moved from sleeping on the opposite side of my parents bedroom from where they slept (I often wonder how they managed to create my sister with me sleeping in their bedroom) to a cot in the living room. Since the only TV (a large 1950s console set) was in the living room I got to watch such late night shows as “the Late Show” (old movies) and the early versions of “the Tonight Show – back when Johnny Carson was just a page at NBC, California with my parents – or they could not watch them. I have been thinking a lot about those early days of our family lately – both as my mother is 90 and with the clearing out of our house for the sale of it. I have not taken a lot of family stuff as I am in my mid 60s and have no children to inherit any of the family house – it will eventually reside with my niece or nephew any way.

Since we had the bed bugs here in our home I am always concerned about getting them again. We have a device called a Packtite. It is the size of a very large softsided suitcase with a rack and a heater in it. It is intended to place suitcases in after one has been on a trip to heat the suitcases and what is in them to kill any bed bugs that might have come home with one. Because I am a crazy person, we have it set up with a laundry basket – that we drilled in holes in the bottom of to allow for air flow – in it and we heat any soft items – paper, fabric and the like that we bring into the house – that we are concerned might have bed bugs in them. So the items from my family home - mostly papers and needlework of mine from when I was much younger – all has to be heated.

I am doing so in small batches and have finished two large bags so far. I am going through these items I took when there or my sister set aside for me. (She said she had a box for me – I expected an office files sized box- there were two of them plus other stuff in the box she left.) It is a trip down memory lane and a record of what I considered important enough to keep at one or another point in time. I have found work appointment books from my early days in accounting (could have used one of them when I was positive that I knew a building in a scene on “Blue Bloods” and went crazy to find it and then figure out how I knew it – it was where a client had his factory – the work appointment books also have clients contact info). School grades – I did as badly as I remember. Lots of occasion cards – birthdays, engagement – ours and friends, anniversaries, Valentines (old boyfriends same went straight to the paper shredder), and so on. I have been weeding through – baby age birthday cards, one copy of wedding related paper items, cards from certain people – parents, sisters, husband, a few very good friends, a special aunt &uncle, my grandparents were kept – others were shredded. I found some remembrances of things such as graduation or awards programs – kept, articles I had published in the college newspaper – kept, personal diaries – kept.

Of course I am keeping my needlework – finished or not. I did leave behind two latch hooked throw rugs that were finished except for the edging as I figured they might sell and make a couple of buck for mom, plus husband said to me as I looked at them “Where would we put them?”. I did decide after leaving them if when we went back they were still there I would take them – but we did not get back while they were still in sight.

So I am trying to figure out what to add to the mess of stuff here in husband and my home, without going overboard. I was a bit “lucky”. My toys would have been the hardest to deal with and decide who “lived” and who “died” but the house was hit by Hurricane Sandy and the basement where most of the toys were flooded and they had to be tossed out then by the crew that came in and worked on the basement. Not only were they not there for me to deal with, I had already “mourned their loss”.

There were 5 items in particular that I was looking for. My Girl Scout sash -with my few badges and my annual star pins on it. I had put together a loose leaf book with hand copied lyrics to old folk songs. My dad had given me one of his army shirts from when he was in same during World War II during the late 1960s/early 1970s when wearing army shirts was popular. There is a stapled binding, thin, soft-covered book about our family in “the old country”. Lastly, when I was in high school I embroidered a table cloth. When I got married we could not find it, I figured if any of it ever would turn up – it would be as the house was emptied. I have the army shirt and the loose leaf book of song lyrics. The other items did not show up.

There has been a tag sale by a company that my sister found and much of the contents of the house are gone. We have to go in and clean and fix it up a bit before we sell it. The next day neighbor already is telling us about someone she knows who is interested in the house.

Just in case anyone is interested – mom has had her pacemaker (or its battery – story of what is to be done was different to my sister and me) replaced, so we won't have to figure out how to plug into a wall outlet if it dies. :-) She has also had (within the same week) surgery to remove a lesion that was causing her anemia. As of tonight she is back in her apartment at her assisted living facility – pretty good for a 90 year old woman I think.

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK - If you were getting ready of your family home – or your own home – what would you be looking for as you would want to make sure that you kept them?

MOM AND MY FAMILY HOME

We are currently dealing with mom and two cardiologists. For those of you who joined since or have forgotten, mom is 90. Shortly after her 90^th birthday she started having problems (http://wheredidileavethat.blogspot.com/2019/05/sometimes-fate-is-having-fun-with-one.html) and can no longer live at home alone. She went through short term physical rehab at a very nice local facility and since then has moved into their assisted living facility. While they do a great job of helping her and taking care of her – mostly she gets around by herself - they have been doing physical therapy and she can walk with a walker better than she has done in years - and she is back in her full mind again from just the fact of having people around her and things to keep her mind active.

Back in August it was found that she blood clots in her legs and she was given medication. She was also referred to my brother-on-law's cardiologist who is also a vein doctor for followup scan about a week after the clots were discovered. I posted the story of that nightmare - wheredidileavethat.blogspot.com/2019/08/29 Her leg was not scanned. We ended up going back not the 3 weeks later that this doctor wanted, but instead on October 7 as it took until then to get an appointment. The scan was not done then either as the appointment was made by a third party appointment service for someone who does not do scans – understand we drove out to where mom is, got her into the car, took her to the doctor's office and had her medical history taken – and nothing else – TWICE (and of course her medical insurance was billed for 2 office visits). When we left the second time we made an appointment for the scan – for this coming Saturday (remember this is about 2 months after we were told that she needed to have her legs scanned right away and then a week later when her leg was not scanned - we were told it needed to be done in 3 weeks). Despite everything we had been told, the doctor does not do the scan, so after it is done we will first have to return on November for the doctor to interpret the scan.

Next problem – mom has a pacemaker. It was put in 10 years ago. The battery in it is tested every few months and the last test was at the start of October and we were told that the battery had less than 2 months left on it. Soooo, the replacement of the pacemaker was moved into priority. This came up shortly before the second time mom did not have the leg scan and we asked that cardiologist's office (per the doctor – they only do heart “plumbing” and we need someone who does heart “electricity” for this) for a cardiologist who would do this procedure as mom's doctor for same is an hour away where our family home is. We were upset that this doctor would have the same sort of circus for an office as the other, but it is quite the opposite. Mom was seen by this doctor (M) a week after she had been in the other doctor (B)'s office. Yes, she needs to have her pacemaker replaced. I was telephoned the next morning with two appointments – a week later (yesterday) for presurgery exam at hospital and next week she will have the procedure. 2½ weeks and this will be done – the other doctor 21/2 months and still nothing has been done!

In the middle of running with mom (plus all the car problems) I realized that I had to renew one of husband's medications and called the pharmacy. The doctor refused to renew it without an exam. We really cannot fit in a doctor visit for us right now – mom's pacemaker does take precedence, so I telephoned and explained and made appointments for us the first week in November. Ummm, I missed that we are going for blood work in the morning of the day mom is scheduled to have her scans read – and it is election day! Well, we work it out somehow. Doctor renewed prescription for 10 days – when we were not due in for 3 weeks – but we had enough left to work it out.

Then it occurred to me that the scan of her legs would be done between the presurgery testing and the surgery – telephoned the doctor doing the surgery to make sure that this would not be a problem – we did not want to give up the appointment that would, hopefully, finally resolve her leg scans, but the pacemaker is more of an emergency. It is not a problem.

My sister will get mom to the hospital for the pacemaker surgery as it is 9 am. We figured out that between allowing for rush hour traffic (as we do not live near where mom is) and then the hour and a half we need to pick her up, get her in the car, drive her the 20 minute trip (and again – it is rush hour, so need more time) and then get her into the hospital – at 8:30 – would mean that we would have to leave home at 5:30 am. My sister lives near mom and the hospital.

Okay, so 4 doctor appointments for mom, 2 doctor appointments for each of us, I have to go to a client tomorrow, my birthday falls in the middle of all this which is all within a month – and at some point we will be called to go pick up our RV out of state. We also had reenactment event, board meeting, and general meeting – which husband as VP had to run and we had signed up to do a presentation for the meeting – over the past weekend. And on the day between our blood work appointments and our doctor appointments I have my embroidery guild meeting.

That's a lot of stuff – well, we can go for weeks with nothing to do, so it is a lot of stuff for us to do. But that it is not all. We - mostly my sisters - have been working on getting stuff out of the family home so it can be sold. http://wheredidileavethat.blogspot.com/2019/08/clearing-out-my-old-closet-at-family.html A tag sale company is will hold a sale in the house this coming weekend. My sister had set aside of box of stuff she came across of my stuff. Since the sale starts Friday and I have to work tomorrow – we had to go today and get the stuff. I had hoped it was one or more of the items I told her I wanted – a tablecloth I embroidered in high school which has disappeared and a small book about our family in the old country. I expected a small, office size file box. There was a huge box waiting for me. Some was not mine and I left them for the sale, some we tossed out, most of it I don't really want, but much of it had my name or other info on it and I took it home to shred it. I also now have an embroidery that I made for one of my parents special anniversaries for them.

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -

I was about to write the thought of the week I was going to write about with all this going on I have kept up – I am doing the laundry, the vehicles are taken of…

Then I remembered – we checked the oil in the car today (it has a problem, there is a class action suit, and we hope it will recalled and fixed) and it was down ½ quart – and we forgot to add oil. Normally it would not matter and I make note to add the oil tomorrow, but tomorrow I am driving to almost Manhattan for work and will be driving in stop and go traffic, at least one way. So I texted husband upstairs (yes, I am that lazy) and he came down and we added the oil – in the dark.

Then I remembered – that it had been raining Sunday when we arrived home from the reenactment event and we had not unpacked the van – we had brought 2 folding reproduction stools, only one of our box benches, a flat table top, the legs to the table and a twin sized blanket (it was cold I used it to keep warm until the sun warmed up the air a bit – and then when it rained, it kept me dry.) Husband will be driving the van tomorrow as I will have the car – so we had to unpack the van.

What more can I say for the thought of the week than – it is life, it goes on, one has to do what one can do, when one can do it.