Thursday, December 27, 2018

2018 Christmas mixed with 1775 Christmas

I hope those how celebrate Christmas had a good holiday.  I hate to use the Merry or Happy as there are many for whom that won’t happen, but good holiday has a larger definition and is more inclusive.  (By the way - Queen Victoria was the one who changed the expression from Merry to Happy in Britain.  Why?  Well what we think of as the meaning of Merry is not what it then meant.  To wish someone a Merry Christmas then, was to wish them a drunken Christmas.)

Did you get all of your holiday preparations done on time?  I didn’t.  Between time lost back in October and November to my husband’s injured shoulder/arm, doing an assortment of tasks twice to get them done finally and correctly, work, and my general laziness, compounded by the fact that I lost 2 evenings (which should have been 3 - but more on that later) to the Candlelight Nights reenactment event we do with our reenactment unit just before Christmas, I fell behind - even for me. 

Normally I would have everything I wanted to do finished, except my (infamous) Teddy Christmas Village setup.  Over the years it has become normal for me to be setting it up on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day night, or even just after same.  Dinner for Christmas Eve would be planned in advance,gifts wrapped, all the other trees and decorations up and in place.  Not this year. 

As I wrote last week, I had set up the living room and dining room and front hall decorations - mostly - in advance.  I put artificial roping over the windows in the living and dining room and did so this year in the dining room.  The living room involves moving a coffee table from in front of the windows to hang the roping there - and an embroidered hoop piece that I put in the center of the roping.  (The coffee table is there and not in front of the sofa since it became husband’s weaving room and while not heavy is shoved between 2 chairs and therefore hard to move.)  At Christmas Eve the roping was still waiting.  I put it back the box and sat the embroidered piece on a chair (which will not be sat in anyway).  While doing this annoys me - the lack of the roping does not change the holiday in any way. 

Last week, you may remember, I assembled the tree while writing my post to you.  On Thursday night I brought up the two boxes of decorations that go on it first (the nicer ones), put “Lion in Winter” in the DVD player (a tradition with husband and me) and started on decorating the tree.  It took a few hours but the decorations went on the tree.  I put them on the tree in sections as there are so many that it makes it easier to see them.  I put angels on the top section of the tree all around  - or at least on the 3 sides one can actually see.  On the front of the tree I put the ornaments we have bought on vacation - and about vacation - I remember as I start to leave a vertical space for key chain we bought at one of the Smithsonian Air and Space museums of a red fabric piece which says “remove before flight” as used on planes.  An ornament does not have to be an actual ornament is something we figured out a number of years ago.  (We were someplace and they had the same piece as a key ring -not this one - and as an ornament.  Key ring was $3, ornament was $15 - we bought the key ring.)  In addition to key rings, we have bought the pins that people put on their hats to show that they have been someplace and a variety of other small items.  On the side of the tree facing the front hall and to the left of the vacation ornaments are the Santa ornaments - there I have to leave a space long enough for Santa hanging from a parachute until I come to it. To the left of the them are the teddy bear ornaments - and above them the ones dated with our anniversary - towards the back of the tree - paper houses are hanging.  On the other side of the tree - facing the side of the room, but visible are sections with stars, characters (Snoopy, Alice in Wonderland...), (fake) candy, vehicles and so on.  Then other ornaments are mixed in around the tree in all of these - handmade ornaments (some embroidered of course), and so on. 

Friday night we were suppose to be at the Candlelight event, but there was a huge rain storm coming in and the restoration canceled the night on Thursday as it would be too dangerous for people to be out in the storm and they figured few people would come.  So I was able to work on the other two boxes of ornaments (while watching the second version of “Lion in Winter” that we have.  These boxes have larger ornaments - balls and such - so there are less of them.  I put the more “important” of them on the tree - and stopped.  The back of the tree - the side facing the window and not seen in the room (or outside as the drapes are closed) is naked this year - for the first time ever.  I cleared up the room and stored the boxes downstairs.  As I took a box down I brought a large Santa or elf figure upstairs.  This also allowed us to food shop Friday afternoon.  While I had already bought stuff earlier in the week to make a Brunswick stew for Christmas Eve dinner, we also need food items that don’t have to be cooked or cook quickly to eat for dinner when we come home at around 10:30/11 pm after the events. 

Saturday night (well, actually afternoon) we ate a bigger lunch than normal at Wendys as we were eating earlier and would eat dinner much later than normal.  We then went home to dress in our period style clothing.  I had previously laid out my clothing - in reverse order of how they worn so the first piece to be put on is at the top of the pile and the last (my apron) is at the bottom of the pile.  I put on my “stockings” and shoes (I can’t reach the shoes after I put on my stays) and then my “shift” (a white more or less A-line dress that serves as underwear in period).  Over this I wear “stays” - not a corset and not worn tightly tied as Scarlet O’Hara wore her corset.  The stays have lacing up the back and front and I only open the front lacing to put them on and off.  I had them on and laced up the front. I then pulled the lacing to tighten them (only to the feel of “a gentle hug” and then to tie them - suddenly I was holding a piece of the lacing in my hand and the rest had mostly unlaced itself.  The lacing had torn apart!  I do not have a spare lace as it came with (on) the stays. Husband suggested that I get some fabric seam tape from our studio.  I ran down glad of a solution.  Uh, Oh!  I had stored his weaving stuff - yarns, finished pieces, table on my side of the studio.  I had taken out what I thought we might need to access - safety pins, thread spools and such, but we never need seam tape - so I could not get any.  On my way back upstairs the thought hit me, I could pull the seam tape in the waistband of my other petticoat (skirt) out and use it - no problem unless I decide to wear my other petticoat the next night - then an even better idea hit - I have a spare apron and have it used it while cooking at events so it is stained and I would not be wearing it during this event.  I pulled it out.  I started trying to lace the stays with it - end was stiff and it was wider than the lacing - I grabbed a pen and used to point to push the lacing into each hole - and it worked great (no one sees it as it under the rest of my clothing.)  We then rushed - afraid to be late to get there as husband is in charge and the first night we have to make sure the building is set up right and that we have candles, etc. We got there half an hour early to be there an hour before the event started!  We sat in the car until we saw some employees of the restoration go into the building. 

Everything we needed was there and we rearranged things from how they had been left for us to how we needed them.  As unit members came in each started setting up what they normally work with.  We made sure to put the keys to the building in the spot where they are suppose to be kept (don’t want to miss them when we go to lock up later).  As 4pm approached we lit the candles inside the house and on the steps outside.  Three of the rooms are behind clear half height gates, the others are walk through.  I put on my cap and offered the mirror in one of the gated off rooms to other women in our unit before I slide that gate into place, the last of the gates to be put in place.  One of the fellows had the fire going in the kitchen and the musician was ready.  We had a very successful and fun - both for the crowds and us  - evening.  Members each do whatever they feel they would like to do at the event - sing, greet people at the door and tell them about the building, be a person of the past (as husband and I do) and talk about the house and “our” time as someone who knows nothing of the future, just up to the matching day in 1775.  We are on the village for some of our fellows to fire their muskets 3 times during the night in front of the building.  When we went back on Sunday night we found out that 1500 people had come through the village the night before!  And Sunday night seemed to have almost as many people.

Saturday night after we came home, changed our clothes and had dinner I brought up the rest of my Santas and elves and set all of them up in the living room at the entrance to the room.  (Most of them were Christmas gifts from someone husband worked with, two I made, one we bought, and one is husband’s since he was a boy.    At this point the excess packing was stored away and the room almost finished - for this year at least.

Sunday was a repeat of Saturday - eat lunch early and more than usual, change clothes, drive to restoration village - not as early this time as we knew that everything was ready for us.  The event was basically a repeat of the night before (and really every night we do this), while always being different based on who comes through the building and their interests as life in 1775 had about as many facets as life does today and one or the other of us (or several of us) will be able to talk on the different facets. 

After we, again, came home, changed our clothes and had dinner, I went back to Christmas decorating.  I brought up our Christmas stockings - one pair red and white fur with names for use in the years that there is something for them, one pair decorated with “Santa Claus, the movie” and one pair I embroidered for us.  There are is also a line of small stockings with the names of our Cabbage Patch kids on them (yes, we are that silly).  I also boiled the chicken I needed for the Brunswick stew for Christmas Eve dinner.

Christmas Eve day we went out for lunch and some short errands as places closed early.  While I cooked our dinner and set the table in the dining room - I had to, again, take the stuff we had brought back into the house from the RV to the RV.  Since the stew cooks a long time and has to be watched, I brought up and assembled the dining room tree and decorated it with brass ornaments we have received as members of Colonial Williamsburg.  I have, somehow, duplicates of two them and the two duplicates I put on the main tree in the living room.  I then took the handmade ornaments I had set aside as I did the main tree (the handmade ornaments are split between the two trees) and set up the tree in the studio for them and put them on the tree - the woven wheat snowflake I use for star on top (made by husband) needed a bit of reinforcing glue on one point and I fixed it. 

Ah, all that will/can be done was done at this point.  I turned on the living room and studio tree lights and finished cooking dinner.  We had dinner, I did the dishes.  I put the few (3) gifts we had bought ourselves in recycled Christmas gift bags.  Husband wrapped his 2 nieces’ Christmas gifts in Christmas paper and their birthday gifts in different in different paper and we put them in bags for Christmas Day.  We then went to Midnight Mass. 

Husband later went up to bed before me and I put our gifts under the tree - next to the empty fancy gift boxes there for “show”.

Christmas Day was spent at his sister’s house and the less said about it, the better.  Today was the 26th.  I paid all the bills due until after New Year’s Day, we mailed them, we went to the bank and transferred money to cover them and then came home for a quiet evening to rest up.  Tomorrow night we go back to the Candlelight Nights through Saturday night.  Ah, being in 1775 for 3 more nights - something we love.  Then the teddy village will be changed from fall to Winter/Christmas.
                       
THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK -

None of us can do everything.  I could be upset and kicking myself for not getting all of the decorating done, but I did the best I could.  Husband points out that there is nothing missing when one looks at it all.  Another year, more will be done. 

Relax - you can only do the best you can - in decorating and organizing.  New Year’s Day will be here before I talk with you again - remember think of what you might want to change or improve and decide to try.  Don’t make resolutions - just pick something and think about what you can do.  And don’t forget - every day is the start of a new year.

I wish a happy, and healthy new year to all of you.



Thursday, December 20, 2018

CHRISTMAS ALREADY?

As I write this post it is just less than a week to Christmas.  This has been a mixed up year and I am soooo behind.  I am hoping that we will have the big tree in the living room for our presents.   Okay, I know we will have the tree as in between writing this post I am bringing up the pieces of the tree from the basement and putting them in place - but will it be decorated and how much will it be decorated?  I have already put down the stand, added the pole and the tree top to it.  I am now going to put in the first of the wedge shaped sections.

Why I am so late this year?  Well, as mentioned last week, lately I seem to need to do almost everything twice.  In addition to what I mentioned last week - on Thursday a gift we had ordered for husband’s niece - a Barbie doll that is a mermaid and lights up in the bathtub as Walmart, our go to source for purchasing just about anything, does not carry it in store stock, so we had to order it for her.  The doll shown on Walmart’s site was the traditional Caucasian, blonde, blue eyed Barbie.  Unlike other Barbie dolls on the page there was no choice of “color’.  When the doll arrived it was African-American in features - not the doll we had ordered.  The doll had taken 2 weeks to come - and even if we could reorder her, we had no way of knowing if we would receive the Barbie pictured on the page on the website.  Niece actually asked for this doll and her mom had not tried to buy it for her as we were doing so.  No one wants to disappoint a 9 year old.  (Okay, even though according to her mom she asked for this, I know fully well that there is a good chance when she gets this doll, it will be glanced at and tossed over her shoulder lost in the excessive gifts from her mom and (dad’s mom) grandmother. So we both went online and I managed to find out that Target claimed to have the doll in stock at several local stores.  I printed out the information from the two stores we were most likely to get to.  We paid $13 from Walmart - the doll was listed as available by order, pick up at the store or buy at the store for $15, so not much more.  We went to one of the Targets.  To my surprise we did not have to find an employee and plead that the doll which we expected not to be on the floor - or it would be same as the one received if it was on the floor  - is suppose to be in the store and please, please find us one - the doll was out on display in abundance.  We selected one.  We then looked at the shelf and the price was $21 - not only more than the price online for Target, but also $1 over the list price from Mattel.  Husband started to panic.  I took the doll and my printout and went to the service desk.  I explained - employee told me that just because the price was shown on the website (even if it said buy in store) does not mean that the store price is the same as the online price - and even different stores will have different prices for the same item (please remember that when you shop at Target in the future, as well as the shelf price was over the list price), but she would match it (so I didn’t bother to point out to her that their shelf price was more than list.)  Almost finished - we then had to go stand in line at Walmart and return the doll received from them.  Another day gone.  (Putting in the second section of the tree. - right back.)

We have not driven our RV since August as we have not been able to go on a trip.  It was having trouble starting when we did maintenance things to it (such as running the generator every month) and husband has been pushing for trip so we were going to drive to Lancaster, PA for a farmer’s market, some other shopping, and dinner for the day on Tuesday.  Then we were just too exhausted.  So we drove it just to drive it (we could wake up much later and not need to pack any “going out of state stuff”).  We drove it for about an hour headed east on the Island we live on. We then drove it around out there (it is the both the fancy tourist end of the Island, as well as the agricultural end of same) for a while.  We finally ended up at larger Walmart out there - both so husband could look for some things he has not been able to find and to make a rest stop.  (We had lunch at the start of the trip.)  We then drove home.  It was the start of rush hour - which mostly is in the opposite direction as we are going, but there are a lot of people who commute in the opposite direction - and an accident on the main highway we were on.  We are limited in the highways which we can on which we can drive the RV as it is over height for many of them.  Husband was thinking of getting off the highway where we were and we knew the roads.  I quickly calculated and decided that the back up was after where we would get off  - by one exit.  I was right.  We stopped and refilled the gas tank in the RV and now it can rest for awhile.  Another day gone.

I have to go to a client for the month - I was hoping to have gone today, but she had a doctor’s appointment, so it will be tomorrow - the expected busiest traffic day of the season, of course.  Either day - it is another day gone. (Just put in the 3rd section of the tree.)

In addition to all of this and my exam (which I finished with a grade of 85 last night, thank goodness), we will be short of time from now to Christmas as our reenactment unit will be doing the candlelight event at the local restoration village.  It sounds like a short time - event starts at 5 pm and ends at 9:30.  But we have to start dressing before 3 pm to leave at 3:30 to get there by 4 pm (and driving with rush hour traffic on Friday, the first day of the event) to start setting up.  Then after the event ends we will need to close up, so we will not be out until 10 pm, drive home by 10:30, start dinner going and change to modern clothes and start eating dinner by 11 pm.  We have done this event for at least a decade now and we know how to plan ahead.  Today we mailed out payment on all bills due before December 27 - no need to go to the post office or bank (we took extra cash and transferred money to cover bills today).  In buying food for Christmas Eve dinner today, I did forget to buy for dinner the 3 nights of the event - hot dogs for him and chicken patties for me - come home, put up canned soup and dinner, change clothes and start eating by 11:30 pm.  Husband said he would go tomorrow while I was at work to buy same - and some deli turkey breast for Friday night.  We treated ourselves to dinner out tonight as we normally would go out on the weekend for dinner and will pick up takeout tomorrow night.

In and between all of this I have put up the decorations in the dining room and most of them in the living (I have not have the energy to move furniture to put up a double length swag of artificial roping across the back living room windows with an embroidery piece of mine in a hoop in the center of the swag (where it goes back up to the top of the window).  So everything on the table below it is in disarray. 

Our Christmas tree and lights, skirt, and some of the ornaments are stored in the box that the tree came in - under the staircase in the basement.  Two of our other trees, Christmas decorative figures and some other related items are stored on top of the box.  Of course to get to the box everything in front of it has to be moved.  After we came home from dinner I began sorting this all out.  I moved what is kept in front of the box and the items stored on top of it.  I then pulled out the stand and the pole - need them first of course - and a junk bath size towel (you know - the ones that are not good enough to use, but too good to toss, and great for things like soaking water from a small flood or such).  I put the towel down on the wooden floor first - it keeps the floor from getting scratched if we need to move the tree from where it starts as well as making it easier to do so by dragging the towel, while holding the tree upright.  Oh - it is not this easy - I spent part of last night moving husband’s table that he uses for various weaving related purposes into the studio (what should have been our family room) and wedging it (it is a gate-leg, so it folds down narrow) between my studio worktable and chair.  I then carried in 7 boxes of yarns and finished woven pieces.  (And arranged them in the right order for access to what husband might need while it is all shoved back there.)  I put the top of the tree in place.  The instructions said to do this last and we did so for years (closer to decades).  We are both short and doing so involves reaching across the spread of the bottom tree sections - not something either of us can do without a ladder, which is a rather shaky way to do so.  2 years ago it occurred to me to try putting the top in place and seeing if I could still put the bottom pieces (8 wedge shaped pieces) in place - I could and I now I assemble the tree this way.  I am now in the midst (between lines/ sections of this post) of bringing up a section of the tree and a zip bag or two with a strand of lights in each.  I discovered that the way to deal with the down and up the stairs for each section is to stretch it out a bit as the sections are heavy and the stairs long.  (Going down for another section right now - my fourth of the eight.)  Back again.  We found that we have to put the sections on so that two which sit opposite each other go on one after another - then the 2 that form the two cross pieces to same, then fill in opposite ones in the holes in between them.  If the sections next to each other are put on together - the tree gets too heavy and starts to fall over (yes, we found out the hard way - been there, done that) so the spacing of putting them in is important.  I should have the entire tree up before we go to bed.  Not sure if I will get the lights on tonight - or tomorrow night.  Spacing where it is located seems good.  It is a small area, but I can walk around the tree, except for the side facing the window and will deal with that from the sides.  We originally would set up the tree in the back, right corner of the room, but the front center works better - and only one piece of furniture needs to moved (and this crazy year past, it was never put back). 

A few years ago I came up with an idea for turning on and off the tree.  We have several electric cords which allow something to be plugged in at one end (which is also what plugs into the electricity) and at the other end there is an on-off switch.  I use this and run the cord up through the tree and it just sticks on the side of the tree that is not as easily seen (away from the room entrance and near a wall) and we just stick our hands into the tree there and turn the lights on or off.  This year I put a 3 outlet plug into the cord before the tree and we can also plug in our light up bear (he wears our Santa hat) so both will go on at the same time - we always forget to light him.  (Off for section 5 - it will face the window behind the tree.)

I have four large plastic boxes with ornaments in the basement also - behind the 2 empty decoration boxes and the 2 full Teddy bear village Christmas village.  They will come up when I am ready to use them. The ornament boxes are labeled one to four.  The ornaments in box 1 are basically the ones I want to put on the tree first and the ones in box 4 basically the ones I want to put on last.  There are also other ornaments which are kept in the tree box and some in other places.  Some of the ornaments will end up on the studio tree - it is decorated with only ornaments we have made - although there are plenty of those also on the main tree.  There will also be a tree in the dining room.  It gets the ornaments we receive as donors to Colonial Williamsburg - but some duplicate ones will go on the main tree also.  There is also a small beaded tree which I made - it is stored decorated, but some always fall off in transit and need to be replaced.

I had cleared out the dining room of extraneous stuff before decorating it.  Unfortunately RV stuff that ends up in the dining room in RV use season which I took out and left in the RV for the winter, had to be brought back in when we went on the trip - good thing.  The back of the RV (remember this is a Chevy van conversion not a huge RV) has two seating benches opposite each other on the sides and they convert to the bed by filling in the area between the seats with wooden boards and sliding the seat cushions and seat backs into the space.  It is set up as the 2 seats for the off season with the bedding in knotted closed huge plastic bags on one of the seats and the seat backs on the other seat.  We have driven before with them like this with no problem.  During the trip we heard NOISES from the back, Normally we hear noises from the back and we just figured it was because things that are normally packed full when we travel so that items don’t shift around were much emptier.  When we stopped at the Walmart out there - everything was lying in the area between the benches - luckily nothing broken - don’t know why.  If I had not taken the items back into the house as I did - they would have been broken.  So again, I have to repeat doing something and I have to take the items back from the dining room - again - and store them in the (stationary now for some time to come) RV.

At some point - even if it is on or after Christmas - I will set up the other 2 trees down here that have to be decorated.  I will, hopefully finish the living room (or just put out my embroidery place and forget about the roping for this year).  I will also change the teddy village from fall to winter - this is something that I normally do on Christmas Eve or afternoon or after same.

Do I over decorate?  Yes.  But we don’t really buy each other gifts (or otherwise get them) and Christmas day dinner with his sister and her family is not fun.  Mass, the focus of the holiday is an hour.  So other than participating with our reenacting unit in doing 6 nights (3 this week and 3 next week) of interpreting a 1740 house at the event mentioned, decorating is just about all of our holiday. Oh, and of course there are some Chanukah decorations mixed in for me.  (Going down for piece number 6, right back.)

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -

Take time to enjoy the holidays.  We often spend so much time decorating, shopping, cooking (maybe some cleaning if people are coming), etc. While I , obviously, go overboard in decorating, I also understand that time to enjoy ourselves and rest is also needed.  I push to get it all done, but if it is not, I am not going to be upset with myself.  The first year that we were married we did not have a tree for a variety of reasons (none financial).  I decided that husband needed something.  I bought 2 large sheets of brown oak tag and some paints.  I painted a fireplace opening and fire on one and painted the mortar of bricks (see I bought brown oaktag so I would not have to paint bricks - just the mortar between them) for the sides and chimney area of a fireplace.  I then tied them to the back of one of his mom’s old kitchen chairs (we had a few of them to use as we had not bought kitchen set yet - table was a bridge table borrowed from my mom) so it would stand.  We set it up for years until it fell apart some time after we moved into this house.  It was simple, but served its purpose.  (Going down for tree December 20, 2018 piece number 7.)

I hope that all of you have a good holiday season - I hate to say Happy or Merry as I know that many people do not.  Try to remember what is important and know that the rest will work itself it out.  If not everything you plan gets done - it is not a failure, it is just how it is.  Something will always go wrong - last year I misplaced a gift card purchased for husband’s niece (same one we got the Barbie mermaid for) and it did not turn up until I started changing the teddy Christmas village into the summer village (for the first time - as in the past the village has only been done for Christmas/Winter).  So now we have a gift card to use at a store we don’t shop at.  But we gave her cash last year and we are sure that some day we will find a use for the card - maybe a DVD before they stop carrying them?  But after going crazy looking for the card last year (and positive I threw it out somehow), I put it aside and went on with the holiday.  (I will go down for the last piece and close up downstairs after I post this - see it wasn’t so bad.)



Thursday, December 13, 2018

HOW MANY THINGS CAN NEED TO BE REDONE?

I know I complain a lot.  Life used to be relatively organized.  I would do things and be done with them.  Lately everything seems to be awry.  I do things and they have to be redone.

One of the things I do in November is reserve the meeting room for the following year for my embroidery group.  This was relatively simple at first.  I would receive the paperwork in the mail early in November, fill it in, have my signature notarized and mail it back - and we had room - free - to meet in for another year. 

We had met in a series of churches over decades - back to before I joined the group in the 1990s.  (The group is around 40 years old.)  We would pay for our meeting room. The group used to be over 400 members.    The group would have workshops and interested members would pay for same which would allow the group to pay for a meeting room. Over the years members aged (with the inevitable result) and moved away.  Women were working and could not come to day meetings.  (A new group had broken off from ours and meets at night in the next county - some members belong to both groups.)  Interest in embroidery waned.  We were down to around 20 members.  I figured out (as treasurer) that in 3 years we no longer would have anything in the treasury and the group would be gone.  As I was about to sign the agreement for the next year, I noticed a mailer from the local township.  One of the parks caught my eye.  I called and asked about the use of a room for meetings.  We had just enough percentage of members who were residents of the township for a room - since we are non-profit - it would be free!  We were given space at a park other than the one I saw and we have been there for 5 years now.  The women who work in the park office have been very nice.  The first woman who ran it, however retired.  Since then it has been a bit confused in renewing the room.  Last year I did not get the form until late so I had made a note for November 1 to check with them.

October 31 I received a phone call asking for the group’s email address.  I called back and left it on voice mail.  A week later, nothing had come and I had not heard from anyone.  I called back in case my voice mail had gone astray and was given someone else’s voice mail and left the info again.  Another week - I called and was told that the forms would be out shortly. The next week was Thanksgiving.  I was telephoned the day before same by the woman who used to run the department who again asked for my email - I told her the story and she apologized.  She called back later to check which park we meet in.  Thank goodness it was all finally going to be done with!  On Tuesday the next week I received the paperwork by email.  I filled it in.  Wednesday I went to the bank and had the paperwork notarized and on Thursday mailed it back.  All done, finally, how great.

The following Tuesday I had a telephone message when we got home from errands, basically, sorry. another group meets in that room then.  Hmmm, we meet in that room then, maybe the nice former director had filled us in already on some chart or form?  I called her back the next morning.  No - another group was meeting at an overlapping time to ours - and she had a different location for us to met.  I questioned how this had happened.  The other group got their paperwork in first.  I told her the story of trying to get the paperwork and how unfair that someone else had, apparently gotten their paperwork earlier than us and taken our space.  I also explained that we were a group of “old ladies” - which we are, at 65 I am the youngest - and I was afraid that finding the other park would be too hard for them.  She hmmmed a bit.  Then said that since we only meet once a month and the other group meets more often maybe she could get them to give up the room for the once a month.  She did and we have the room back for next year.

Totally unrelated - and dealing with the county instead of the township - husband and I are entitled to a reduction in our real estate taxes due to our age and income.  I started collecting information for the paperwork in January - well I actually collected some during 2017.  I had to telephone our medical insurance companies for last year (which we had 4 of do to R switching to Medicare partway through the year) and get printouts of the premiums paid to them - listed by month paid.  Of course one only gave a total and I to keep after them for the correct info.  I also had to get listings of what we paid for prescriptions (Walmart pharmacy was the easiest of all the info needed for me to get) and the dentist and doctors from the providers themselves.  I did not bother with the doctors as payments to them were minor.  We have to get statements from who we paid - canceled checks are not accepted.

In late August I received the renewal papers from the county (we had gone through all this last year for the first time).  I filled them in and continued to chase down missing information.  While husband was incapacitated I finished the forms and started making the photocopies I needed to give them - photocopies of income, of the medical expenses, etc.  I wrote a summary of what I was giving them.  I wrote a cover letter.  We mailed it out certified mail (almost $7 postage) on November 27 - and received the information that it had been delivered and signed for on November 29.  We sat back to wait to hear from the county in April - maybe earlier if they wanted some other information.

Monday night we got a robocall from the county executive that we have not yet filled the renewal for our exemption! We panicked.  Tuesday I was taking my mom to her doctor and I called before I left for her house.  I got a voice mail setup and left my information and asked them to PLEASE call back and let me know if they were missing our application - knowing that they would not call back.  Oh, well, this was better than last year.  Last year when I called for information their telephone number was continually answered by voice mail that said, basically, we are too busy to answer the phone - goodby, although after calling for several weeks the message was changed by adding - that there is not enough parking here, so don’t come either.  While mom was in with her doctor I called again.  This time there was a message that people were called who should not have been called and - the message only applied to those over 65 and if one had receipt from them for the paperwork given, they were fine.  It offered a chance to talk to exemptions (overall I was calling the county tax assessor’s office) and I did so - same message as in the morning and I again asked to PLEASE let me know if they have our paperwork - just leave the message on our answering machine, they did not even have to talk to us.

Local news last night talked about the robocall error  - it showed the lines that people were on for 2 hours due to the call - as did the local paper today - 400,000 called instead of something liked 50,000!  But again it was said that as long as one had a receipt from them there was no problem.

Well, we only have the proof of delivery from the post office.  So being crazy people - we copied all the supporting paperwork, reprinted the forms and resigned everything and reassembled it all.  Tomorrow morning we will be going to the county assessor’s office.  Hopefully the crowds will no longer be there having heard on the news or read in the newspaper what the situation is and we will get in fairly quickly - perhaps even told that of course they have the application and paperwork.  But I anticipate a long wait to get in and who knows what has happened to our original paperwork.  Husband will drop me off and try to find a parking space - there are a lot of parking lots (free) but in addition to the county office buildings (at least 3 I know of) there are the courts (at least 2 buildings), general office buildings in the area and the train station which serves 2 train lines, so parking is not easy - which is why we mailed it in the first place.

Does this happen to everyone - or just us?

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -

Always get a receipt.  Always follow up. Always make and keep copies (or give copies if you can and keep the originals).  Never assume that all is going well.  Do this for smaller things also, but especially for big important things.

UPDATE -

Even with all this going on, I managed to take more of my required tax courses and now have finished 14 of the required 20. I have a left a 6 hour (credits) course that has a 3 hour exam.  This exam is timed and has to be completed at one sitting, so I will have to set aside an evening alone in our office to take the exam - I do get 3 chances, but I have not yet (in past years) needed more than one attempt.

Thursday, December 6, 2018

WHAT EATS UP MY TIME THESE DAYS?

Do you have control over your time?  How much of you time is governed by other people who need you or make plans which involve you - and are not the king of people you can say no to?

When my husband worked full time at his job all of my time during the day on weekdays was my own.  Yes, I had to go to work and I went to my embroidery meetings, but I could easily plan what I was doing when back then. 

Husband and I were in what is called a rotational art exhibit - okay, we were each in two of them.  In this type of exhibition (run by two different township park departments) the artist, after having his/her work reviewed and approved, goes to a showcase.  Different venues - town offices, libraries, local businesses... sign up with the program also and come to the showcase.  They select which artist’s works they would like to have in their venue and they and the artist agree on which month (or two month period) the exhibition will be for. There would be months when we had 3 shows at 3 different venues (he had work in 2 different media in the show).  Since he was working full time I was allowed to represent both of us - I also set up and took down the exhibitions.  I could schedule the exhibitions, set them up and then take them down.  When husband quit his job and worked part time from home we would do all of this together and there was always a problem with him as to when we were doing it, why we were doing it (we only sold 3 small pieces over the time he exhibited, my work was not for sale, so I did not sell any).  It amazed me how much easier it was when I did this all alone, then when we did it together.  Due to the fact that one of libraries may be where we got bedbugs, we stopped doing the shows - and it was relief to stop - although before he started coming along, this would not have been true.

When he first quit his job we had an agreement that we would each go our own way during the day - and we did for awhile.  Then gasoline prices went up and up and up and husband pointed out that we were wasting money at the high price of gas for me to drive to the supermarket and him to drive separately to the Home Depot in the same parking lot and we started sort of car pooling for errands like this.  Before I knew it, we were together all day, every day (except the days I went out to work and the days I went to my embroidery meeting). 

Clients of mine, older senior citizens, had to shut down their business due to the economy and gradually I ended up with only one monthly business client. I used to go out to clients at least 8 days a month - some days to multiple clients - and had no problem scheduling them - now the 1 client is a problem to schedule. 

I am not the world’s best house cleaner.  I had a schedule - on Wednesdays I would clean - First Wednesday of the month I would dust, vacuum & wash floors, and clean the toilet upstairs.  Second Wednesday of the month I would do the same downstairs.  Third week I would do the upstairs - except the toilet - again.  Fourth week I would do the same as the second, but would clean the kitchen instead of the bathroom.  On the occasional fifth Wednesday I would do another chore that had not been done and needed doing.  Now - forget it!  It is hard to clean toilets or wash floors when as soon as one is mid cleaning one’s husband appears and says “I have to go in NOW.”  And there is always a reason that the other bathroom is not where he wants to be.  It has gotten so bad that I ended waiting until he fell asleep at night and then cleaned the upstairs bathroom - at 3 in the morning!

This comes up right now as the past 2 weeks I feel like screaming!  Last week on Tuesday he decided it was time to put up the Christmas lights, and then looked at the bushes and the piles of fallen leaves and said “We can’t put up the lights with all these leaves here - there will be a fire.”  Okay, so we are going to suddenly clear up the leaves.  He found online at a home store near us a rack to hold the garbage bags and it was in stock at the store.  We go there  - I really don’t think we need the rack - without even knowing what it was.  The store does not have any, even though the company website says that they do - and, while it is still November at that time, they don’t have it because it is a “fall” item and the main office therefore took all of them back! Oh, and according to them the website saying they have something does not mean anything - good thing husband did not buy it online and go to pick it up at the store.  We lost an hour and a half of limited sunlight (remember we get started late and had already run errands) on that fool’s errand.  We come home and we start clearing the leaves.  Over the years husband has come up with a variety of methods to do this - vacuum them, shred them with a vacuum, and I don’t know what else - my system is a snow shovel  - yes, a snow shovel.  First I quickly rake the leaves out from between the bushes onto the driveway in a line of leaves.  I shovel them into the garbage bag in the garbage pail, stop periodically to tamp them down with the shovel, then when the bag is full (probably overfull) I close the bad with a bag tie, drag the garbage can to by the curb, lay the pail down on it’s side, stand it up again with the open end down, pull the can off the bag and there it is - a bag of leaves where it needs to be for pickup.  I am doing the work due to the pain that is still healing in his left arm and shoulder.  He has to help (you know, like small children have to help).  He wants to hold the rake for me to push the leaves against when shoveling, this is not needed as there is a line of leaves to push against and at the end I use the pail.  Then he decides that too many leaves are falling and puts the rake over the leaves - resulting in almost all of the leaves falling off.  I convince him to go and get more bags and bag ties to keep him busy.  We eventually end up with about a dozen or more bags sitting at the curb - they were picked the next day as Wednesday is yard pickup.  Wednesday we run errands and then go to clear the last of the leaves - these are leaves around the driveway where he is worried that mice will nest - he is shocked that new leaves are where we cleared the day before!  Now, if I was involved in planning this ahead of time - we would not have had errands to run - I would make sure they were otherwise scheduled - and we would have eaten a quick lunch at home to give us enough time, instead of our daily half hour plus leisurely lunch at Wendys.

We had checked the light strands ahead of time, as we had not had a chance to check them when we took them down (I made a reminder in my cell phone for the middle of October about this, as well as about the 2 strands that went out while out last year and had purchased replacement lights.  We had to wait after clearing the leaves for a day that was not below freezing and it was not raining.  Over the weekend we put out the lights.  I am, again, doing the work.  We did a little bit different setup as he had some ideas, All was going well.  We have a holly tree and the lights have to be (literally) thrown onto the upper part of it as neither of us likes to go on a ladder.  I was trying to figure out how to put the higher lights on it - figuring a ladder will be needed - and he grabs the strand and throws it - and then is reminded of his shoulder and arm - and was back in pain like a few weeks ago!  (Yes, the lights are up, look nice - one of his ideas I thought was terrible works very well.)

We spent yesterday evening taking apart his computer as it had stopped working - believe it or not it as the battery that keeps the time and such going as this is his desktop computer.  So the time I would have spent washing dishes - I was lifting his computer (because even before he threw the light strand he should not have lifted it) as well as clearing off my desk for him to work on.  I did some of my magic - “It needs a CR2032 battery, I guess we will have to buy one.”  I go to our bag of button batteries (travels with us on trips) and find one, still sealed in the package.  Then I did the dishes after we changed the battery, put the computer back on his side of the office on the floor and he had restarted the computer.

I have to take 20 hours of classes to do tax returns next year - I took 2 hours of them the other evening and I should have much more of them done by now - only 26 days to go - 6 days of which we will be involved in reenacting, two days of which will be Christmas Eve and Day, that leaves 18 days left!  And Christmas decorations, shopping for one of his nieces (other is  finished) and regular housework is left - oh, and he is still trying to fit in a one day trip to Lancaster, PA.

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -

It is hard to make our time our own to be able to schedule what work needs to be done, but we have to do it.  This time of year, especially, we have to make time for what we need to do as well as what we have to do. 

Thursday, November 29, 2018

MY HUSBAND SAID IT WILL ONLY TAKE AN HOUR - PART 2

Back this week to the lack of organization in winterizing our RV.  The start of this story was two weeks ago - http://wheredidileavethat.blogspot.com/2018/11/my-husband-said-it-will-only-take-hour.html

We are able to skip part of the process which involves emptying out the hot water tank as we don’t use it and keep it off line.  Good thing as this involves opening the tank from the outside with a huge wrench and he has trouble doing so - often it takes both of us - so I never would be able to do it alone and he could not do it with his shoulder and arm as it is.

The rest of the process involves letting water out of the hot and cold taps in the sink, shower, outside shower and the toilet bowl.   Due to not wanting to put water we don’t have to into the outgoing water tanks since they could not be drained, we used a box that we have which fits the sink to let the water out of the pipes -  we use it for outgoing water if we travel after we winterized for the year and therefore could not use running water.  We open all the taps one at time and let the water out.  We did have to let the water in the toilet go down the tank.  (Toilet looks similar to home toilets, but when flushed a trap door opens into the tank.)  Then I have to use a wrench to open a cap on the pipe which comes from the water pump - under the bed in a cabinet - which means that I have to take the table top off the top of the cabinet and then the protective foam under it out - we shove them between the front seats, where the pillows, blankets, and mattress covers were moved when I unmade the bed. 

There is a water pump in this area which normally would pump water from the clean water tanks to be used in any of the taps mentioned or the toilet.  The first year we had the RV we had the dealer do the winterizing and show us how to do it.  We also had it install a two way switch over for the pump to either draw water from the clean tanks or we could hook a hose to the other side of the switch over and have it draw the antifreeze from through the hose from the a bottle of antifreeze.  I had to use an adjustable wrench to open the cap on the switch over.  Husband handed me a 7 inch long wrench.  The space in the cabinet seems to be between 7 and 7 and half inches tall - I could not get the wrench on, adjust it to size, and turn it to take off the cap.  After much yelling between us - “I know how to use a wrench!” - we switched places and he took the cap off.  I then attached the hose to the switch over and shoved the other end into the first bottle of anti-freeze. 

Husband went around and opened each of the taps and ran the tap until it ran pink, the color of the anti-freeze. He did this with each tap in each of the 3 pairs of taps.  I had to switch the bottle of anti-freeze twice while we were doing this.  He then poured a bottle of the anti-freeze into the toilet bowl and let it into the tank under it - remember, he already put one bottle - a gallon - before.  Normally we don’t put this much in the toilet tank, but we were worried about the water already in it freezing.  He then stepped on the flush pedal and ran more of the antifreeze through the water pump until the water coming out of the pipe into the toilet bowl was also running pink.
We then disconnected the hose we were using and I put the cap back on the two way switch and switched it back to draw water from the clean water tanks.

Lastly we had to pour antifreeze down the sink drain and the shower drain in the floor.  I poured out 2 separate cups of antifreeze first and poured the rest of a new bottle of anti-freeze partially in the floor shower drain and most of it down the sink drain (the two drains go to the same grey water tank).  I then had to S L O W L Y pour one of the cups we set aside down the toilet drain and then the other down the sink drain.  These are poured slowly so that it will stay in the traps (you know, the bend in the pipe that you see under the sink).  Last thing I did was put pieces of pipe foam - you know - the tubes of plastic foam that is slit up one side and one puts on pipes in their house to keep the pipes and valves from freezing - over the valves related to the hot water tank.  This tank and its pipes are just above the (uninsulated) floor and the valves in the pipes have frozen in the past until we started pieces these pieces of foam over them for the winter.

I then had to pack up everything we had used and put the bed  - with the table top under it - back to where it belongs.  Husband went into the house as he did not feel well - both because his shoulder and arm were hurting and he had bent down and was dizzy and nauseous as gets from same.  I had to unplug the RV from where we plugged into our house electricity in our porch so that we could run the water pump without using up the battery’s charge.  I put everything back in place inside the RV and then put stuff back in the porch that is kept there and put the wrench back in the garage workshop.  I then took a last walk around the RV to make sure everything was put away - good thing - the driver’s side window looked funny - it was still open!  I closed and walked around again. 

We will have to call the RV dealer over the winter and make an appointment for next spring to have them take apart and find out what is wrong with the macerator and/or its pump.  Hopefully we put enough anti-freeze in enough places to keep the rest of the system from freezing - and costing us even more money. 

I will admit that after deducting the time we spent trying to get the water out of the black and grey tanks - trying to get the macerator and its pump to work, the rest of the process really did only take a little more than an hour.

After my complaints about using a wrench which was too long for the space - which apparently we don’t have one the correct length as previously he had not been able to find a short adjustable wrench which opened large enough - he is buying me a rather expensive (for us) 6 inch wrench as a Christmas gift.  I guess this may be one year that I cannot say that I did not want anything and did not get a gift.

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -

Procrastination can lead to panic.  Try to get things done when they should be done. 

It does turn out that we were lucky not to have gone on a trip after our last one.  As it is we have two tanks that need to be empty with a bit of water and a much larger bit of anti-freeze.  If we had gone on a trip after our last trip, when we went to dump the tanks at the end of the trip we would not have been able to do so.  When we took the RV to the dealer we would have had to have them empty the tanks to work - and that would cost even more.

Thursday, November 22, 2018

THANKSGIVING IS HERE AGAIN

For those of you in the U.S., Thanksgiving is tomorrow, at least as I write this (by the time you read this, it is probably today or yesterday for you).  Rather than retell the story of organizing for Thanksgiving past, I will post links to my prior Thanksgiving posts at the end of this post.

This year is rather worse than even most recent years.  Until this past Monday we were still debating - cook dinner or go to an Asian buffet (they do put out a turkey for carving - and each person carves their own serving). 
On Monday we bought our turkey.  It is from the same specialty supermarket that we bought from last year and the year before.  Due to our letter about our problem last year  with the turkey not being fully cooked (the breast was blood raw) after following their directions, they sent us a gift card for about 3 times the price of the turkey.  So this year’s turkey (and next year’s and part of the year after’s turkey) was free.  Due to the warnings this year about problems with turkeys and salmonella, I was concerned about putting the turkey - even though it is still in its packaging - on the right hand top shelf of our refrigerator, the only one tall enough to hold the turkey - even though it is lying down.  So I was going to put it on one of my platters - but then realized that they are pottery and might absorb any leaks and any salmonella in the leaks.  I thought and thought where I might have a large enough glass plate to hold it.  So it is sitting on a lovely large dessert serving plate that we received as a wedding gift.  (Yes, we have used it to serve dessert over the decades.)  That left 2 small corners at the front of the shelf to put anything on it.  Husband, a few weeks ago, had decided that the caffeinated diet soda he has at lunch made his shoulder/arm feel better.  So we have a started bottle of decaf soda and one of caffeinated soda in the fridge.  I put the decaf one on the right corner of the shelf.  I then went to put the caffeinated one on the left corner of the shelf - I had forgotten that one of the reasons I hate this fridge (even before we bought it, but it was the closest to what I wanted that we could find in the emergency situation of our old one - around 30 years old - dying) is that the light bulb is in the front of it - in the middle of the fridge and one cannot put anything tall there - so the soda bottle could not go there.  I managed to balance it - 3/4 of it on the center of the shelf and the front end sticking off.  I warned husband - so he would be careful not to knock it off the shelf  - and made him repeat to me what I said - so he cannot say I did not tell him.  Of course right after this, he stopped drinking soda and switched to ice tea, so I have been drinking the decaf soda to get rid of the extra bottle.  It is down enough that the bottle can lay on a lower shelf as there is so little soda left, it does not reach the neck of the bottle while it is lying down.

Yesterday (Tuesday) we went out shopping for the other things we need for the dinner.  Of course the stores (we went to 2 different supermarkets and a Walmart) were jammed and out of things.  I am annoyed that since we waited this long items - milk, stuffing, eggs and such - that I would normally buy in Walmart as they are cheaper there, had to bought at the supermarket and we probably blew at least $5 on the difference.  (I think I have said that I am cheap.)  We had to go out again today for items we did not find yesterday - another Walmart and a different supermarket.  I never did get the mixed (green) beans I wanted.  Somehow everything we picked is what he wanted, the mixed beans were what I wanted - plain green beans it is. 

I have not cleared out the dining room yet.  Nor have I cleared off the kitchen counters to have room to work.  I guess whatever is in the way in the dining room will be pushed to far end - hey, it’s only us, I would like it nicer, but between dealing with his shoulder and the RV winterizing mess (which will be continued next week) I am soooo behind in getting ready.  In reading my prior Thanksgiving posts (I found I already repeated myself at least once, and not repeating myself was why I read them) I was reminded that I have to go to the basement, move all the boxes of Christmas decorations in front of the very small closet that has our gas meter, a blanket cut in half for reenactments (in sealed plastic bags and rarely used kitchen stuff and get the platter for carving out and wash it.

I don’t know if you go shopping on Thanksgiving or Black Friday, we do not.  Never found anything worth getting.  I have to wonder if people buy new TVs every year as that always seems to be the big draw.  Then again, as I have mentioned, we do very little gift shopping, as well as little shopping for us.  For us if we are shopping something needs replacing or there is something very new (and not expensive) that husband has decided he needs.

Remember that what you buy has to be paid for and you don’t want to be in debt forever for something that is gone in a year or two or less.  Also - everything you buy has to be stored - either by you or the person you give it to - think about that when buying items for yourself or as a gift. For example husband decided last week to buy a chair at Ikea. It is a small kitchen table chair and it has a low back and is smaller than our regular chairs.  He had noticed the chairs at Wendys where we have lunch are more comfortable for his shoulder and arm - after jokes about maybe since we go there so office we can borrow/rent a chair from them, he decided to look in Ikea after dinner last week.  Now, we are the type of people who can shop for a package of hair pins for a week or two, but he sat in several chairs and then announced one was perfect (and “only $39") and we bought it and assembled it that night and he loves it. This left me with the chair he used before (and hopefully will again).  It is now in the dining room against the wall (we keep furniture against the wall in the colonial “room at rest” manner) - out of the way until we need it again and looks decorative.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK -

Those of you in the U.S. - have a nice Thanksgiving. 

All of you - think before you shop during the holidays (and in general) before overspending or buying unneeded items which will quickly be unwanted - by yourself or as gifts.  One of the movie theater chains we used to go to had a trailer to sell its gift cards for holiday gifts.  It has people receiving gifts that were not appropriate and of course those who received their gift cards were happy.  I will never forget one sequence - a man receives a sweater as a gift.  The sweater is huge - his arms are lost in the sleeves and the sweater covers him to below his knees and he is so sad and upset and shaking his head.  You don’t want to be the person who gives a gift like that!  (And no, I am not pushing movie gift cards.)

Prior Thanksgiving posts -
http://wheredidileavethat.blogspot.com/2015/11/thanksgiving-and-other-holidays.html
http://wheredidileavethat.blogspot.com/2016/11/
http://wheredidileavethat.blogspot.com/2017/11/semi-unorganized-thanksgiving.html

Thursday, November 15, 2018

MY HUSBAND SAID - IT WILL ONLY TAKE AN HOUR - PART 1

First - I hope any of you in California and those you know are safe from the fires. 

I have mentioned before that we have a very small RV (it is a conversion of a Chevy Express van so I do mean small).  Those of you who live in the colder areas understand that in cold weather unprotected water pipes can freeze and cause damage.  To prevent this in an RV (or a travel trailer or boat which has plumbing) one has to winterize the water system in the fall before it gets too cold. Too cold according to my husband is 2 nights in a row under 28F, without it getting into the 40Fs during the days.  At this point water will be freezing in the water system of the RV.

Winterizing is a fairly straight forward process - all the water in the pipes and tanks has to be drained out and then a non-toxic anti-freeze (mostly alcohol - no, not the drinkable kind) has to be run through the system.  It really should only take about an hour - but hey, this is us.

At the end of October when it was still in the 50Fs I suggested to husband that we do the winterizing since we were not going to use the RV due to his shoulder and arm pain.  We normally due this early in November.  He replied that we had plenty of time - I suggested that doing it in relatively warmer weather was better.  He said to wait until he felt better.  This is one of the few maintenance tasks that we do ourselves on the RV that I cannot do on my own.  (Husband has been surprised this past month and a half that I can do the tasks we do together on my own.) 

Well, last weekend the weather report was for a night below freezing and that the weather would not improve much this week - going into rain on Tuesday.  So, now in panic we had to winterize the RV on Monday.  Luckily husband had listened to me when I suggested buying the antifreeze last month and we had bought 3 one gallon bottles plus we had one full bottle and one at least half full bottle left over last year. 

First thing we had to do was the result of our not having traveled in September or October.  We anticipated at least one more trip when we went away on our last (one night) August trip.  The black and grey water tanks (outgoing water) have to be dumped.  While we dumped them before we left for home on our last trip, we also added some clean water into them as they cannot be without water (or antifreeze) in it.  Generally on our last trip of the season we would not have added this water into the tanks.  So we had to dump the tanks. 

Well, we thought this was the first thing.  Since we had planned to travel again and had been away for at most a total of 5 nights, we had left the bed made.  So first I had to unmake and disassemble the bed.  Why?  The bed is on top of two cabinets (when not a bed it is similar to a restaurant booth  - a seats on top of a cabinet on each side of the RV in the rear section and then wooden boards go between, the side seats slide together onto these boards and then the bench backs are laid down along the walls to form the bed) This all has to be reversed to unmake the bed.

So I strip the sheets and pillow cases and bag them in a laundry bag - throw in front of the RV.  I then fold the blankets and the mattress covers and with the pillows to the same side of the bed (his side or my side) I bag them in extra large laundry bags and then put those in extra large plastic bags and seal them closed for the winter.  I use twin sheets, blankets and mattress covers as it is easier to make up each half of the bed separately.  The bags with the pillows etc. each go on one of the front seats.  I then lift up the back of the bench on “my side”of the bed and put it on the main mattress piece and push the bottom end (where I am) to the side which lets me pull out the first wooden board from the center and set it aside. I then squeeze in and pull out the second board.  I can then reach a small section of the mattress which sits along the rear corner of the RV (head of the bed as we sleep with our heads to the back of the RV) and put that also on the main piece.  I can now push the main piece into the bench position on the cabinet on that side.  I remove a small additional center mattress insert from between the two sides and put it and the two large pieces of wood under the mattress piece. 

I then take the back piece from his side of the bed and put it on mine.  I take the matching small back corner piece and put it on mine.  This leaves his main mattress piece - the bench seat.  Problem is that my side of the bed and its bench is about 3 inches shorter than his in length.  So I can not put it on my side, I have to put the rear van end (head of the bed) on mine and with it on a catty corner angle make room to be able to later get to the front end of the cabinet under his mattress as that is where the water system is accessed.  This has taken about a half hour.

The water from the fresh water tanks had been let out after our return home - that water can be allowed to run down the driveway as it is clean water, the water from the grey and black tanks cannot be allowed to run.  So when we do this at home we have the dump system pump the water into a bucket which is then carried into the house and flushed down the toilet.  (If you have been in an RV our has different dump system - instead of it all running out by gravity, ours has a macerator and pump and the contents are pumped out and ground up.  Normally he would carry the bucket, this time I had to. 

We set it all up on the driveway and I was holding the hose into the bucket while he pushed the button on the side of  the driver’s seat to run the pump.  He pushes it - nothing happens.  Repeat - nothing happens.  Repeat - nothing happens.  Husband goes into panic mode.  Maybe we didn’t put water in it when we pumped it out?  He adds a gallon of antifreeze.  He pushes the button - nothing happens.   More panic.  Then he thinks - maybe there is not enough water in it as the RV is on the driveway on an uphill angle and the water is sitting at the other end of the tank.  He has me take out our levelers - this are rounded bottom plastic pieces with a thin end graduated to a thick end.  One is put in front of the rear tires (or the front ones - in this case the rear ones) and then he slowly drives onto them until the RV is level.  Chucks are put under the thin end which is now raised in the air - lifting the tires up off the group.  We do this.  I hate doing this as I am the one who has to slip the chucks under it and then has to remove the chucks from it - we were going to put strings on the chucks so I would not have to put my hands and arms under the RV to remove them, but of course have not gotten around to it.  So the RV was sort of level (we can only raise it so much).  I hold the hose in the bucket, he pushes the button.  Nothing happens.  Repeat.  Finally remove the chucks and drive off the levelers.

When we last dumped the tanks the pump sounded funny, it seemed to go to quickly, and there was no need to give short pumps at the end.  Maybe the macerator is broken and/or pump is broken? That’s a big expense.
New idea.  Maybe something is stuck in the macerator?  There is a handle to rotate it and clear it - under the RV.  I have lain down before and looked at what was underneath as husband would get ill if he did so and I did have to find the cap to remove to let the clean the water out when we are done with using the tanks.  I knew where the handle was.  As a matter of fact during this past summer husband and I had a conversation about the handle as someone had figured out how to make a clean out from the macerator directly and let the tank contents out by gravity.  The handle is on the driver’s side of the RV - the macerator is under the passenger side.  We have had this discussion at least 3 times in the past.  He tells me to turn the handle and insists it is on the passenger side.  It is fall.  The driveway is covered in leaves.  I don’t want to lie down in the leaves.  He gets a broom and sweeps them away as I humor him by lying down and looking on the wrong side for the handle.  Then the leaves have to be cleared off the driveway on the correct side.  Problem here is the driveway is wet from our attempts to dump - and I AM NOT GOING TO LIE IN THAT WATER.  So I am lying on my wrong side.  Next problem.  I am short and have short arms so I can barely reach the handle and.  I manage to grab it and push it and I think it engaged.  I turn it.  I cannot keep it pushed and turn it at the same time, but attempt it several times.  Guess what - yes, when we try to dump again it still does not work.  Husband figures that maybe the water in the macerator (there is always some which is why we are suppose to get anti-freeze in it to replace the water which will be pushed out by the pump) froze. 

We realize that we cannot do anything with pump and macerator and - luckily for me - we both have the same idea to move on to the rest of the process.  We have used about 2.5 hours doing this.  He drives the RV back into its normal position on the driveway to do the rest - most - of the process which remains.

To be continued -

Thursday, November 8, 2018

PROCRASTINATION

I have been making phone calls that have been sitting waiting to be done as long as we have been in the house.

When we picked up our prescriptions after going to doctor one of mine came up showing I owed $45 on it - it is suppose to be covered in full by my insurance.  I had expected a $5 charge as husband had when he picked up this prescription for the first time on this insurance, which was later refunded to us as he did not owe it - but $45?  Pharmacist said that I had to talk to the company, so I finally had a chance today.  They don’t know why - they have to talk to, yes, the pharmacist about it!  So next time we go in I have to tell them to call the insurance company about it.  Both husband and I have the same prescription, so I am taking some of his in the meantime (90 day renewal, so there are enough for now until this is resolved).

I also called about the annual service for our furnace.  We used to be called by the company each year to have this done - often in the spring or early summer.  When I went looking to see when the last service had been done it was done in October 2016!  2 years with no service on the furnace, not only we did pay for the service last year as part of our service contract and did not get what we paid for - one of the things done in the service is to check for carbon monoxide.  So I finally called yesterday to find out what was going on and to make an appointment.  The cheerful voice on the other end told me that it was no trouble to make the appointment for the service - the next one is February 26!  I repeated the date to her with emphasis on the February and she said yes.  A conversation then followed about why have they not called us to do the service and I was told that it is my responsibility - never was before - why now?  The company was joined into another company and the new company has its own rules, but never told us about the change.  We buy our oil and have our furnace contract through membership in a non-profit co-op group and I have written letter complaining to same - after greatly complementing the old company which gave us great service and helped us out with two emergencies over the years, oh wait, I just remembered a 3rd emergency they helped us with.  I mentioned that my mother-in-law had a different oil company and the water tank for her furnace fell on it and broke it.  Her company told her that they don’t do replacements - too bad.  I called ours and within 3 days she had a new furnace installed - and they had a new customer.  A couple of years ago I found an oil leak in our oil tank - in our basement - at 1 am on a Friday night.  Someone was sent to plug the leak.  A huge snow storm was to hit on Monday - over the weekend a new oil tank was installed.  The one I forgot was about 15 years ago our hot water heater (which is natural gas not oil and not serviced by this company) died and flooded the basement also on a Friday night.  We had plans for Saturday and husband saw our plans gone and us spending the day shopping and making arrangements for a new water heater.  I figured I had nothing to lose and called our oil company - by 1pm we had a new water heater installed and we were off to do what we planned to do - late, but with plenty of time.  What a difference between the old and new company.

I have to make a call tomorrow - I had been called by the parks department that my embroidery group gets a room from for meetings.  I telephoned the woman back, got her voice mail, and left the information she requested - an email address.  It is time to do the renewal paperwork for the meeting room for next year and I figured I would be receiving it by email (and the town would save the cost of mailing it), but I have not heard back from her and will try calling her again and ask if she has the information to please either leave a message on my phone or send an email so I know she has it.

On the other hand, I waited too long to call about my eyeglasses.  Last year (2017) in June I bought new eyeglasses which change in the sun to sunglasses.  I have had glasses like these for decades and never had a problem with them.  These did not change.  At first I figured they needed some time - this has happened in the past - then suddenly it was this July.  I went back to the optician and was told it was past the one year for the warranty.  He did try to help me and said that the glasses changed a bit under his lights and I should try putting them in the freezer overnight.  I thought this strange, but saw it in articles and tried it.  First time the glasses changed to the lightest shade of grey.  Tried two more times and nothing happened.  He had told me to call him if it did not work.  Due to procrastination and life I did not have a chance to call him - until I was stuck in the house with husband - 3 months after I had been in.  So, now I have a spare of eyeglasses which do not change color - just stay the lightest bit of yellow and I will have to decide if I want to spend all that money again on a new pair that changes color and make sure it does or go back right away.  I figure I will wait until just before spring to decide as I won’t need them during the winter.

I also have to call our eye doctor and make an appointment for both of us to see him.  I had planned to call just about when all this happened last month.  Appointments for routine eye exams are usually about a month after I call.  Now I have a problem.  I am not sure if husband can deal with driving out to him - about 45 minutes to an hour - followed by our going to stores slightly further out near the doctor and walking around for a few hours until the eye drops wear off.  I hate to make appointments and then have to cancel them - but then again, if wait until January there may be snow and that would be a problem to drive out there in same.


THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -

Try not to procrastinate - we all do and I can be the queen of procrastination - believe me.  (I have to take 20 hours of online classes for work - this year I made sure to pay for them early so I would not be taking them all in November and December again - still have not taken any and they have to be finished by the end of December - or else.) 

Procrastination can result in an oil burner not being serviced and inspected for two years - two and half by the time they come.  If I wait to hear back about the meeting room - we might lose it and have no where to meet next year.  If I had followed up on the eyeglasses sooner I would have glasses that do what I need them for (or a refund) instead of a unneeded spare pair and having to spend more to get yet another pair.  And if I had called the medical insurance right away I would not be going back and having to explain the problem, as I am sure it has been forgotten by now as they are so busy at the pharmacy.

       

Thursday, November 1, 2018

HALLOWEEN HERE - HOLIDAYS COMING

Well it is Halloween.  For the first time in many years (at least a couple of decades) we are home and not in Pennsylvania.  We normally go away for my birthday as I don’t like all the Halloween stuff being associated it with it - including not being able to go out for a nice dinner other than at an Asian restaurant - and while it is everywhere, there is a lot less in the area we go to and we can walk into local restaurants and not be served by a science experiment gone wrong covered in blood - ick.  Since husband’s shoulder still has not healed he could not drive anywhere near that far and he cannot ride when someone else drives, so here we are.

What surprised me the most was the total lack of trick or treaters.  Even when we were home for Halloween we had no trick or treaters until the woman next door to us had her son and his family - including his young daughter - move in and then she came by for a couple of years until they moved.  Then the house beyond that one had a new family move in - they had 3 children and we had the children and maybe a couple of their friends come by for maybe 3 years.  The street is 4 lanes, so the family that lived across the street never came here - too dangerous to cross the street.  We live on a main street with only these children on it in the past and since we did not know the families on the streets near us I figured that we did not have trick or treaters as they did not know us. 

But now there is a new family in the house on either side of us and I figured that they would come by.  They did not.  What surprised us even more is that when we driving home from running errands and lunch - around 3:30 pm (which is when I would have been out making the rounds as a child) and later when we went out to pick up Chinese takeout for dinner - we did not see one child (or adult) in costumes walking around. 

Later, after dinner, I read the regional newspaper (yes, I still read the “dead tree” newspaper) there was an article on how most of the neighborhoods no longer have trick or treaters going around.  Parents and schools have apparently decided (and rightly so) for safety in today’s world to have parties at the schools or what is called “trunk and treat” at the schools or other location rather than the children going around house to house.  This eliminates the danger of children out alone - and possibly in the dark - as well as what strangers might give the children.  In thinking about it I realized that I had not seen any of the usual - “Bring your candy to the hospital and we will X-ray it for you.” 

For those of you who might not know about trunk and treat - groups of families get together in parking lot  at a school, park, or shopping center.  The cars are decorated for the holiday and the trunk (or hatch) is open and the children go from car to car for their trick or treating and possibly other activities.  Parents know who the other participants are and the children have fun and are safe.  The first time I saw this was the Halloween 2 days after Superstorm Sandy.  There were few people out and about and we had gasoline shortages and major electric outages.  Sidewalks were not safe to walk on due to trees and limbs - and wires which had fallen down.  I thought this a great idea for the children. I did not know at the time that it was something being done otherwise than the storm. 

Have you noticed a lack of trick or treaters in your area in recent years - or is this area an anomaly?

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -

If it is Halloween than the start of the end of the year holiday season is starting - if not already started.  As we head into the end of year holiday season, think.   Don’t overdo.   Think “less is more”.  Buy less items (oh, the retail industry will hate me) but think more about what you do buy.  I tend to be very conservative in gift giving and have pushed husband in that direction. 

His sister goes the opposite way and buys each of her two daughters, umm, I mean Santa brings each of her two daughters 64 gifts.  Huh?  Yes 64 gifts - and I don’t mean small ones.  Sister in law has some idea stuck in her head that she received same each year as a child - I knew her then, she did not - and feels she must do this for her daughters.  I have even seen her give duplicate gifts to them as she forgot she already bought the same or very similar gift the same year.  Their grandmother (on their dad’s side) goes into debt that she cannot afford to buy them even more.

As a result the girls do not value what they have received - or even remember what they have received.  The two girls are adopted from China.  When the older one was younger (she is a teenager now) we bought her an Asian faced Cabbage Patch Kid.  Her grandmother also did so.  A couple of years later she was at our house and I was playing with my Cabbage Patch Dolls with her. (No children, so dolls and bears are my substitute - when I play with the dolls with our nieces I am the nice aunt, if I play with them alone, I am “the crazy lady”.) Niece said to me “I wish I had a doll like these.”  I told her that she two of them - and she was shocked. They were “on the pile” at home and she did not remember them.

So as you start the season keep in mind that less can really be more.  Stay on your budget.  Buy items with meaning or is something that the person wants.  Don’t go overboard because other family members do. 

Watch what you spend on what I calling “buying garbage” - huh?  When you buy wrapping paper and ribbon it is basically buying something that will quickly be garbage and thrown out.  My rule for Christmas wrapping was $1 for 50 square feet for decades.  I will now spend $1 for 40 square feet as price adjustment over time.  I buy inexpensive curling ribbon and make long tendrils that I put on gifts - in expensive, one does not feel the need to “save the bows” and they don’t get crushed when traveling.  I have a ribbon shredder to use on the ribbon, which makes it look even nicer. Christmas cards are the same.  They are opened, maybe displayed and then thrown out. Shop wisely and one can get very nice cards inexpensively - and don’t forget the end of the season sales which seem these days to start right as the season starts.  Think about this - my sister had a friend whose father owned a small chain of upscale card and gift stores.  The girl’s gifts for my sister were always wrapped in Sunday color comics - never wrapping paper.


Thursday, October 25, 2018

MEDICAL MATTERS TAKE MORE TIME THAN SHOULD

Well, it looks like we are coming out of our “emergency” situation with husband’s shoulder.  No, it is not that he is better, but rather that he can mostly deal with it.  Last weekend he decided that he should try to get back to his normal routine.  We had dinner out on Friday night.  We ended up at Wendys and he ordered and carried the tray.  When we have gone for lunch, I have had to go up and order and carry the tray - although for the lunches since then, I have been ordering and carrying the tray again.  Saturday night we went to Ikea for dinner and then the movies.  We have not gone to the movies since he hurt his shoulder - and normally we go every Saturday night.  Sunday we even went to one of the Asian buffets we go to for dinner.  I can touch his arm again without him screaming in pain.  I have pushed him to open doors to different businesses we go to and he can open some, but some are too heavy for his shoulder.  Biggest problem continues to be the seat belt sitting on shoulder when he drives. 

We missed another reenactment event this past weekend.  It was a new event and it all sounded complicated - since we were coming late everything we brought would have to be carried in.  No parking for the event and looking at the map - we would be parking on residential streets on the far side of a wide main road, that we would then have to cross back - with our stuff - with no traffic light to help us.  We would therefore have to travel very light.  No bringing even our smaller box bench as it would be too heavy for me to carry - he certainly could not without much pain and making his shoulder worse.  We would have to use the reproduction folding stools we have.  (Husband made them.)  Not a problem normally, but I knew it would be a problem for him right now.  So I had him try one - the look on his face said it all.  We got a piece of board from the garage workshop and he tried that across the stool - he said it was maybe okay.  In the end we decided not to go.  From the report on the event it was not a major loss.  It is just that he feels that is he is giving in and weak as does he is not doing things


This has continued to be a week of dealing with medical things.  I am hard to get blood from during a blood test. The nurse last week was good - I barely felt the needle.  When I took off the bandaid when we got home, I was surprised at the bruising where she had done the test, but knew it would go away.  Over the weekend we went to Costco and husband found a new canned soup that he wanted.  We bought the 8 pack of soup and a small bottle of vitamins which were in a cart.  I hate the Costco carts as they are too tall for me to push comfortably and when we walked out of the store I picked up the soup and handed him the vitamins with him protesting all the way about my carrying the “heavy”soup.  The weather has been cold here and I have been wearing a long sleeved sweatshirt over my tee shirt.  Sunday night when I suddenly was hot and took of the sweatshirt I saw that rather than healing, the bruise area had gotten larger.  Of course husband looked it up and said that it was due to carrying heavy items - “see, you should not have carried the soup”.  So I am waiting for my arm to be back to normal.

Wednesday we went to the doctor for our regular appointment.  All went well, Doctor checked husband’s shoulder and said maybe another month to 6 weeks and it should be okay or we will “see” what else needs to be done - probably nothing.

Now, our state put in a new law maybe last year.  Rather than writing out prescriptions and handing them to us, all prescriptions for people (as opposed to veterinarian ones for animals) have to be sent directly by the doctor to the pharmacy.  This may be great for helping prevent and deal with addiction, but has been a nightmare for us in dealing with our prescriptions. I keep our prescriptions organized.  We are given them 3 months worth at a time.  I keep those bottles in our downstairs bathroom (no shower or bath tub to make it steam).  I have smaller bottles in the kitchen cabinet.  When I use up all the medications in a kitchen bottle, I count out 30 days worth from the ones in the bathroom into the ones in the kitchen and I make a mark on the lid of the bathroom bottle.  It helps me keep track of how much medication we have left.

With the new system of no written prescriptions not only do we not see what has been sent through to make sure it is correct, the pharmacy automatically fills all of the prescriptions .  Often we don’t need all of them filled and we have to stand there while one of the pharmacy employee wastes time reversing the ones we don’t need.  (I am not upset with the pharmacy or their personnel - they go above and beyond as will be shown.)  So this time I told husband that I was just going to take all the refills now - even if we don’t need them yet - except for his insulin.  (The insulin has to be refrigerated or is only good for 42 days.  We have a mostly full box and did not want a second box in the house in case of hurricane and no refrigerator.)

When we got to the pharmacy I explained this and it was no problem not to fill the insulin.  We then walked around the store.  Husband for some reason was not having a good day with his arm.  I offered for us to go home and I would come back for the prescriptions - or they could wait until the next day (today).  He insisted on staying.  He settled on the bench near the pharmacy to wait. 

The prescriptions were almost ready and we waited.  Then we were called and I went up to get them.  I had added up in my head that they should cost between $30 and $40 so when it rang up for $57 - I was shocked.  I went over to husband and we while he checked that the medications were the correct ones, I looked at the charge card receipt - my medications had been rung up at the rate from my old insurance.  I switched insurance as of this month - I used to buy my meds off the old insurance as doing so was cheaper - and had purposely brought the cards in a couple of weeks ago so the change would be on file.  It was not.  One of the employees researched it and switched it over to the new insurance and it’s lower rate.  But to do this she had to take out half the pills in 2 of them as I take a half a pill not a whole pill and the insurance would only allow 45 pills for the 90 days, not the 90 pills I had been getting.  Okay, I understand.  I really appreciated the attention and time the employee put into this - and she was standing on crutches having been hurt in some way, so I felt really bad.  She rebottled the pills and gave me a refund for the overpayment. My credit card slip for the original purchase had gone astray on their end during all of this and the search for it was close to 10 minutes before it was found.  I was at the point that I had asked if they could just give me a reprint and employee was about to check - when it was found.   I thanked her profusely and we came home - 2 hours gone.    When I got home I realized that we were charge for the needles for husband’s insulin three times as much as it has been cost before. 

We also get test strips to use in our Diabetes meters.  When at the pharmacy yesterday, they told us that the doctor’s office had not included a diagnosis code and that we should call to have it resent to them.  I did so this morning.  This afternoon we went in and discussed the price of the strips - apparently he had been under billed in the past and this amount was correct.  When they ran through my test strips they came up for almost $50.  They are suppose to be free.  I know from when husband switched to this insurance that the first time they charged him $5 and then when it was processed through, the $5 was refunded - but $50?  Also they only had enough to fill one of our prescriptions.  I had them fill husband’s prescription and I will have to call our insurance company to find out what is going on with the billing for my strips before I get them.  I again thanked the employee (same one as yesterday).  This all went much smoother when husband switched his medical insurance last year.

Since husband was doing better - even if he does not think he is - and I knew that he could go out for lunch on his own, I told him that I am going to my client tomorrow as I have work that has to be done there - I did not make it there last month for other reasons and this month is quickly running out.  (Plus I would like to get paid - we can use the money.)  He was not happy, but understood.  I told him that I would take our van so he could have the car as it is easier for him to deal with the door and seatbelt in the car.  I know the van can fit in the municipal garage I park in as I have taken it there before.  He insisted he would be happier if I had the car and he will deal with the van.  So I called the client and I am going to work tomorrow.  Something I normally look forward to, but am too tired to do so this month.  (Oh, I need an extension cord for this client -and it is a special one as it has a flat plug as the outlet is behind a safe.  I could not of course find this cord when packing this afternoon to go to work tomorrow - it is kept in my brief case.  I finally found out that “the teddies in my little village had borrowed it”, okay, I had grabbed it to use for them until I got one for the village and forgot about it!)

Laundry is behind as we don’t want me carrying it upstairs and he can’t.  I have not changed the bedding since he became ill as he has his pillows as needs them (which changes at times) and we don’t want to move them out of position.  So I have gotten a lot of undone paperwork done, but other things are falling behind.
                       
THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -

Know what your medical insurance covers and what it costs.  Don’t be afraid to make sure that you get what you are entitled to or ask to have something changed to what you are entitled to.  In the past we have had a blood pressure medication changed by the doctor at our request as one goes on a formulary and another goes off - they are the same category of medication. 

Also if you are picking new medical insurance - and this is the time of year that happens - make sure that any medications or other prescription items that you take are on the formulary (list of covered medications) that the new company has.       






Friday, October 19, 2018

WHAT IF YOU OR YOUR OTHER HALF WAS UNABLE TO DEAL WITH THE HOUSEHOLD OR FINANCES?

Gosh darn!  I did it again!  I forgot to post yesterday! 

Now, I was doing well, at the beginning of the week I had an idea for what to post about - which I forgot, but as I wrote this very line, the idea came back. 

Husband has been having a bad week - his back now is down to an ache and it varies from worse to better - twice it disappeared completely for a couple of hours - but sometimes it gets worse when he takes the medication or when he soaks in a hot shower, the idea our doctor recommended.  We happened to be at the doctor’s office today - before all this with his shoulder, I had made appointments for our annual visit and its bloodwork, and today was the bloodwork.  Doctor said it could take 6 weeks for his shoulder to stop hurting completely - 4 more to go and neither can take much more of this - for him the pain and inability to go out and do things as he gets too exhausted and it makes his shoulder/arm/ - and now also - neck hurt more.  He is frustrated with it all and I am exhausted from trying to help him. Every thing is a bit confused.  I am not completely sure what day it is unless I check.  (Good thing we have our pills in several day of the week boxes, so it helps remind us what day it and whether or not we took our medications.)  When we go for lunch at Wendys I order and get the lunch while he gets the table - the opposite of what we normally do - which also confuses the employees - one fellow there lists me as Mrs. “husband first name”.  Others just list with me his name.  And then again, the weekend crew which does not know us as well asked for my name - I gave him my middle name to avoid having to spell my name. 

On the other hand I have gotten a lot of decluttering done as we are home so much.  I have finished scanning in the articles from the older reenacting magazines that we decided to scan the articles he wanted into the computer and then get rid of the magazines.  They are now stacked up to take to next month’s reenactment unit meeting and pass them along to others who have joined more recently and not had a chance to read them.  In one magazine he only had one article marked to scan - and that was two pages - see, we really did not need to keep the entire magazine at all.  As these magazines leave, I have room for the newer ones.  I started today scanning in the articles from the magazine from the national of my embroidery club.  These magazines after they are scanned go with me to the meetings or places where we do a “stitch in public” and I give them out to people who might be interested in joining us so they can see the nice magazine they will get from national and also get rid of them without throwing them away (ditto the other ones we bring to the reenactment unit meetings).  I also have been making telephone calls that I put off as we are not home and awake enough time to make the calls.  I still have to call our eye doctor and make an appointment for us - but not sure when to do so as he can’t drive out there.

Okay, now the idea I had for this week.  Have you done anything to allow someone else to take over running your household if they had to? For decades I tried to get my husband to pay attention to our finances - where we bank, what money comes in, what bills have to go out, etc.  He never wanted to talk about it  - it would be bad luck.  I started paying his bills for him before we got married and kept doing so - “You’re an accountant.  You do it.  You are better at it.”  I would say to him as I tried to get him to look at things and how I do them “What would happen if I was kidnaped and you had to find the money to pay them to get me back?”  Death was not allowed to be mentioned.  “I would tell them that have to put you on the phone to tell me where the money is so I could pay them.”

In December 2012 we were in a bad car accident - in front of the house next door to ours.  We luckily were not only still alive somehow, but also uninjured.  This scared him.  He suggested to me that I should I make up a notebook with all the information that someone would need to take over our bills, deposits, running the household, etc.  By this he meant, even more than himself, if someone had to take it all over because we were injured. 

I started doing this and in the ensuing 6 years I have done parts of it and then redone so.  To date it is in my computer and not in a notebook, but I am working doing so.  I found a old looseleaf book to use.  (Better to recycle it to this than have it sit in the closet and buy a new one.)

My first go around with this - back in 2013 - was to write copious notes about when each bill comes in, when it has to go out, how I write the check, and how I post it in my financial software.  Second go around, I scanned one of each bill into the computer as an example. 

Currently I am scanning in each bill (first page only) when it is paid along with the check that pays it, anyway, as part of my bill paying.  I have to make new notes about each bill and put it the notebook.  I also figured out that I would put in the information we receive annually about our garbage pickup, with written instructions to go along with it.  I want to write up information about how to use the washer and dryer.  How and what I clean (okay, plan to clean and don’t always get to).  When things such as the oil burner inspection needs to be done (the company we have a contract with did not call last year - or this year and with dealing with husband and still trying to get to my client to go to work there (for 2 months work now) I never had a chance to call them to ask why I haven’t heard about an appointment for 2 years or set up an appointment.  Where what Christmas decorations are stored in the basement and so on.

What prompted to me to write about this now is an article I read in a publication reminding me how hard this can be on the survivor(s).  I have had several clients who had their home/family run traditionally.  The wife took care of the house and the husband took care of the finances.  In each case the husband died and I had to help the widow figure out what they had.  This was in the pre-Internet days which was an advantage as for some items we just had to wait until the widow received something in the mail.  In January/February one receives all the papers for income taxes so that helped.  In addition in some cases we had to check the state unclaimed/abandoned property office (each US state has one - not sure what is done in other countries) to see if anything had slipped by us and had been turned over to the state for the state to hold until it was claimed.  Especially important for all spouses (and/or someone else) to know about is any life insurance which has its premiums  paid off as nothing may come in the mail from the insurance company.

In addition these days the items maybe sent by email - and one may not be able to check the spouse’s email.  Generally items online are not something that can be inherited.  By this I mean if your spouse had an (or more than one) email accounts and you do not know how to sign into them, you may not be allowed to get into them as they were your spouse’s account not yours.  In addition if there is a Facebook account etc. you may not be given the information to sign into it - it is their account not yours.  Do you and your spouse (by which I mean any significant other) share a book download account?  If it is in your spouse’s name you probably lose the books in it as they are not for sharing and cannot be inherited. 

So if you and someone share accounts make sure that both of you know how to sign into them and what the passwords are.  In the article I mentioned, the poor widow was going crazy trying to figure out her husband’s security question answers to be able to set new passwords when she did not know what the passwords were to the accounts.  Her husband’s first pet’s name - she put in what she thought it was, but it did not work.  His first school - not the one she thought it was. 

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -

None of us likes to think about injury or illness or death of ourselves or those we love - and we think that we have lots of time to deal with it.  One never knows.  Make sure that you and your other half -if you have one - or someone else who is close and responsible - know about each other’s accounts and log in info.  Make sure that you both know what your (joint if applicable) financial situation is and how and when money comes in and goes out and from where it comes and where it goes.  Make sure that both of you know about all insurances related to each other.  Try to have a list of bills you pay monthly, quarterly, annually, etc. for reference.  Have a list of incoming money and when, how and where it comes- especially money that is not a paycheck.  If you own a house, car, stocks, etc. make sure both (or all) of you know where the ownership papers are for it.  Bank Vault?  Locked box in the closet? The back of several drawers?  Also if you (or your other) has jewelry include the information about where it is, what it is, and if it is valuable.  (My husband knows that the jewelry in the jewelry box on top of dresser is all junk jewelry of no value, but there is a small box stashed with minor items that are real jewelry and the rest is in our bank vault.)

Also if you have all this information organized, in case of an emergency you can take the information with you if you have to flee your home from any of these horrible weather situations which have become more common in recent years.  I have a copy of the computer data backup I put in the bank in my “grab and go” folder which has copies of our car and house titles, insurance policies, and I put the bank statements when I reconcile them in the folder - and take out the prior month’s statement and file that one away.  This way I have the most recent bank statement to come with us - including the ones for the two organizations that I am treasurer of.