SORRY FOR LACK OF POST OF THIS WEEK

I am so behind this week – mom has needed some additional doctor appointments plus making Thanksgiving dinner for husband and myself– that I do not have a post for this week. My apologies and I assure you that next week I will be back with a regular post.

For those of you in the US – I hope that you have had a good Thanksgiving.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK –

Things happen and must be dealt with – we deal with them as we need to.

STILL TOO MUCH NEEDING TO BE DONE

That was a short week!  We have taken mom to two doctors in the past week.  One was a happy checkup with the doctor who replaced her pacemaker.  The other was a not as happy appointment with the doctor who did cancer surgery on her.  There is still some cancer and we have to take her to an oncologist.  Treatment recommendation by this doctor was based on mom's age – 90 – and the fact that it is a slow growing cancer.  I should mention after complaining about another doctor's office, both of these were great with helpful staff and no hours of waiting.  We still have to take her back to the doctor about her leg scan (the one with the awful office/staff setup) and then there are about another 4 doctors she needs to go to.

In between these appointments I have been trying to get our senior real estate tax exemption worked on and I should have all or almost all of the paperwork I need.  I will have to check each section's numbers against the paperwork for it and we have to copy all of it and I do so with a page that has our names, the section, block, and lot number of the property and the year the papers apply to written at the top (with the computer).  This page is put behind the items I copy as I do so that so that the finished copy will have this info at the top in case any pages get separate from the others – I am glad I have a heavy duty stapler that staples thick stacks of papers as there will a lot of papers.  I have already done our 1099s & similar and our medical expenses.  I have to mostly deal with our businesses expenses – I will do the joint expenses first (car expenses and some other ones have to be split between our two businesses and also from personal use), then husband's business as it is easier and finally my business. This has to be there before the end of December and I figure the earlier the better.  I was getting all this done quickly and early when I found out that they had added need for proof of business income and expenses. 

I also have to renew my permissions to prepare tax returns from Federal and state governments.  Federal mailed in already and I did the state application online – the only way it can be done.  I still need to finish the required tests for the Federal paperwork.  One test for 1 credit done, 19 more credits to go.  It will be done – it only one test for 6 credits that always concerns me as it has a time limit. 

I have still been heating the paperwork from my family home in small groupings in our PackTite heater (for bedbugs).  I found out that among the papers my sister gave me is my parents income taxes – back to the 1950s as well as the papers related to the purchase of the house back in 1958-9 and my dad's release from the military paperwork.  I commented to husband that I know their old taxes are no longer needed and I should just check through them and shred them – but – dad always told me that one keeps copies of client's taxes as long as they are clients and then at least another 3 years, so by that logic I should keep them.  I have discussed it with husband and will scan them into the computer and shred the originals. 

I got behind with the laundry last week – it was done, but not all was folded or put away, so I had to do same tonight before I started this week's laundry – first load is in washing now, when the ringer in cell phone goes off, I will go down and switch to dryer and put in another load to wash.  Just happened – will be right back – feel free to talk among yourselves until I do.

Back again. 

As I have mentioned in the past year, I have been having a problem keeping track of papers – something I have never had before.  In October our reenactment unit had an event.  I know and remember that the unit commander (club president) had asked me if I had brought the checkbook – which I didn't as it is safer to keep it home. Since he did, I assumed that he had given me a bill for something for the unit to reimburse him for.  ¾ of the way through the day it had started raining and we along with most members had brought their stuff inside our headquarters building and then at the end of the day I had brought our van back to the area where we had been setup and we packed it quickly to avoid getting things wet.  Two days later I started looking for the bill that I had to reimburse the commander for.  I could not find them.  We did not actually bring the stuff in from the van until the end of that week.  I went through everything again and climbed under the seats in the van looking for the bill.  Husband than threw another thought at me – at an event the unit did in September the place wrote the check payable to the commander personally instead of to the unit – and husband said that what I was remembering was probably the commander giving me his check as we had told him to deposit the check and then write the unit a check.  So was I missing the bill to pay him for?  The check he gave me for the that event?  Both?  A week in I had written him an email explaining and apologizing and asking him to let me know how much the unit owed him.  (I did not mention the check he owed the unit.)  He did not get back to me.  I have been “sick” with the idea that I lost a bill to pay, as well as maybe the check he wrote to the unit.  I brought the checkbook to the meeting this past Monday to settle up.  Whew! Nothing was lost.  He had asked me about the checkbook in reference to another matter that did not materialize and he told me that not only does the unit not owe him money, but he owes us the money from the check that he deposited.  It was a wonderful relief to know that I had not been careless and lost neither bill nor check. 

I have to complement and thank my husband.  He has been insisting on helping me with my mom and the doctors.  My mom is well, a 90 year old opinionated woman who does not hear well.  (One of the doctors we still have to go to is for hearing aids – but the other doctors are more urgent).  He has been wonderful with her.  One advantage to having him along is that he speaks “medical” and can talk to the doctors on a different level than mom or I can.  (He was the head of a mental health agency and had doctors working under him.)  He understands what the doctors are saying better than either of us and knows when and how to ask questions.  Part of why he comes is I helped with his mother when she needed same (although his sister handled the medical and I handled the financial), especially since he butted heads a lot with his sister and mother over how things should be handled, so I sort of ran interference by going while he was at work to help her.  Part of it is he does not like being home alone.  Part of it is that he know he can help a lot. 

We still have not really done any planning for (American) Thanksgiving.  Since he has become lactose intolerant (or so it seems) since last year, two of his favorite dishes may not be made for him, especially since I like neither – pumpkin pie and Colonial Williamsburg Sweet Potatoes (no marshmallows, of course).  The former uses evaporated milk and the later uses regular milk –  1/3 of ¼ cup of same (original recipe for 3 lbs sweet potatoes, I make him 1 pound).  We will see.  We are debating if I should make the vegetable soup that I used to make for the family for Thanksgiving dinner – I figured out how to cut it down and make ¼ of the amount of soup I used to make or even 1/8 of same, but it is one that we like and gets better reheated.  (I would make the entire recipe and reheat over the winter, but it has potatoes in it and they do not do well with being frozen, so I need to cut it down to what we can manage to eat without needing to being frozen to keep long enough.)  The alternative is to make a different Pennsylvania Dutch soup called Chicken corn soup.  We will see which he prefers.  Our normal menu was the Vegetable soup (cooked on the day before Thanksgiving as it takes a while to cook), turkey of course, stuffing, mashed potatoes, green beans, the sweet potatoes, and gravy.  I did not cook the turkey as husband liked it better from a commercial oven – he says it is crisper.  When we started (I had never cooked a turkey) we found a local place that cooked turkeys with a hot pick up just about when we needed it – my sister and her family would stop and pick it up on the way here for us.  Three years ago we had run places to go to for Thanksgiving dinner for just the two of as we were no longer having family in for same, and I had to cook the turkey.  I did so and it was fine.  The following year I cooked it from the same place following their directions and it did not cook through, we ended up cutting off pieces and cooking them separately.  I figured out that the packaging had 2 different temperatures and I must have used the higher one first year and the lower one second year.  Last year I used the higher temperature and put the turkey in upside down and turned it over part way through and it was cooked through and I will remember to do so this year again.  In the old days there would have been the pumpkin pie and I would bake an apple pie and Venetians (rainbow cookies).  No need for so much dessert for the two of us, especially since neither of us should be having same at all.  

(And I will have to find time to post the night before while I am generally cooking.)

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -

As it says in the “Hitchhikers Guide to the Universe” - DON'T PANIC!  Things seem to work out in the end.  We managed to get the appointments we needed to get right away for mom.  The real estate tax exemption will get done and in on time.  The exams will be taken on time.  Laundry will be caught up tonight.  The missing papers were not missing.  Thanksgiving dinner will get a menu and will be cooked. 

RV, VAN AND OLD PAPERS

Another week, another post.  Mom had 2 surgeries within a week and is now back in her apartment at the assisted living facility.  We will taking her Friday back to the doctor who changed her pacemaker for a checkup and I have to make an appointment for same with the doctor who did her cancer surgery as well as with the one involved with her leg scan as it still has not has been discussed with her.  We did squeeze in appointments with our doctor for us last week – dealing with mom, we had forgotten to make same until the doctor refused to renew our prescriptions because we were so late in doing so. 

Friday we drove to Pennsylvania and picked up our RV – the batteries are working and the entire electrical system was checked and was fine.  Husband is concerned about driving such a distance alone (as I probably mentioned when we had to drive it there) and also concerned about driving alone in the dark – the combination of the two, even more so.  We kept calculating when to go and what to do coming home.  We figured out that we had two choices – both involved trying to get the dealer as early as possible, having lunch at Wendys very quickly and starting home.  In one version we would immediately drive home, this way we would miss Philadelphia rush hour and hoping to avoid rush hour from NYC headed towards our home. The other version involved again leaving immediately after lunch to avoid the Philadelphia rush hour and driving to near the Golden Corral in New Jersey that I am sure I have mentioned before.  We would then go to some stores in that area to spend some time, then have dinner at the Golden Corral and then head home. With this version we should avoid the rush hour from NYC to home, but would be driving in the dark home from Golden Corral.  We figured we would decide after we picked the RV and while eating lunch.  The golden morning time to leave home and head off Long Island for us seems to be 8:30 am – we are following at the end of rush hour and are before the construction work on two of the major roads starts.  We we were out at 8:20 -since we were driving only our van, we did not have to waste time backing the RV out of the driveway (a process that involves walkie talkies and me standing in the middle of a 4 lane road road that has traffic that all speeds – which is why it a problem to begin with.)  We had figured we would get to the dealer between noon and 1 pm.  We got there just after 11 am.  We picked up the RV - “schmoozed” a bit, gassed up the RV and the van for the trip back, spent about 15 minutes having lunch and started home – confident that we would miss the rush hour traffic at both cities.  We did fine in PA – no traffic, NJ not bad almost no traffic.  One very quick stop at a rest area for me to use the facilities – so fast, I left my cell phone in the RV and husband waited out there so we did not have to shut everything did – I ran literally both ways and we were off again.  Then we hit Staten Island  (NYC) and there was traffic, but it was not bad – 15 minute part of the trip maybe was 25 minutes.  We then crossed the bridge to Long Island.  The limited access roadway we have to taken home was BAD.  How bad?  The signs on the bridge said not to exit to it, to exit to a local street that allows later connection to the roadway – which we take anyway.  It took us 2.5 hours to the dealer – it took us 5 hours home – and that was with arriving in NYC at 3 pm.  Another day of our lives – gone.

But the RV is home and working properly again – so all is well – right?  Driving home husband found that the brakes were squealing so today they were at our mechanic again.  He said they were okay to use – a problem sometime down the road as there is rust. 

Wait a second, have to run to the basement to switch laundry loads and check the heat in the PackTite.

Back.  Normally I have a load of clothes, a load of towels, and a load of bed linens each week with a load of jeans every few weeks.  With all this going on, I have not changed the bedding in a couple of weeks – no time to do so and saves a wash load (yes, I think ewwww also, but it will done soon).  This week I have a load clothes, a load of sweatshirts and nightgown – I bought 3 new ones and have worn a few of them and they don't fit in the general clothes load, a load of towels, and a load of jeans.  I also have a load of white reenactment clothing (much “small clothes” - undergarments, all of which are white) from our last couple of events and a second load of the rest of our outfits – next time we will need them is December and I want them clean so I don't have to run at the minute to wash them – some of the pieces need ironing also.  Just put the general clothes load into the dryer and the sweatshirt load into the washer. 


At the same time I have been going through the bags of stuff from the family home.  Being a crazy person who had bed bugs. I fill (lightly) our PackTite heater with some of the stuff and heat at it night – mixed with whatever fabric or paper items we have in addition to be heated.  Then the next afternoon I go through the stuff from the house after putting away the stuff from our house that was added in.  Today I went through the papers from our wedding – 40 years ago.  All of the response cards & envelopes – shredded, set up invitation with all the papers which were included and put it in the shoebox that I have as a “memory box” of the stuff I am finding and want to keep from all this, shredded the other invitations, tossed out the other response cards (no names, etc. on them), I kept the blank envelopes for the invitations – can always use larger envelopes, have set aside the unused response envelopes they do have my parents and name and address, but I will see if labels will cover same and decide if we are keeping them or they are being shred, shredded the receipt for the wedding (what a waste of $8,000 – I was right, we should have just gotten married & not bothered with a wedding), and shredded the seating charts and other papers.  I kept the box that it was all in.  Good box.  Apparently there is much more than my stuff in what my sister set aside for me – work papers of my dad's and other financial stuff.  I have a found a certificate given to my other sister when she graduated from high school (she is 55 now).  I scanned it, emailed it to her and asked if she wanted the certificate or what.  I found old bank statements and similar of mom's and even some of dad's (he died in the mid 1990's).  I found a dividend check for $4.50 that was never cashed – I will see if it can cheaply somehow be replaced – but 1994 was a long time ago.  More to do tomorrow after the current load is heated – this load also has some yarn husband bought for weaving project to sell and a new sweatshirt that I bought  - both today. 

At least every year I go through the papers from 10 years before and get rid of almost all of them – 25 years is a long time to keep bank statements and a check.

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -

So progress is being made on the stuff from mom's house. I am trying to keep up on household chores – dishes washed after dinner and after night snack (only meals we eat home).  Obviously laundry being done.  Towels changed and into the laundry.  (If only I did not hate changing the bedding and folding same after it is washed even more than more than cleaning toilet bowls – I figured it out – my arms are too short to deal with sheets easily.)

Any suggestions for my family and me about dealing with all of the stuff from the house?

CLEARING OUT THE FAMILY HOME.

I have several large plastic bags with stuff that we took from my family home.

I am not calling it mom's house as my sisters and I do as it is really the family home. My family moved there when I was 5. My (now) middle sister was 6 months old and “baby” sister was 7 years in the future. While I remember the apartment that my parents and I – and middle sister briefly – lived in before the house, my sisters have no memories of any other home growing up. It was a huge house to me coming from the 3 room apartment we lived in before. When middle sister was born I was moved from sleeping on the opposite side of my parents bedroom from where they slept (I often wonder how they managed to create my sister with me sleeping in their bedroom) to a cot in the living room. Since the only TV (a large 1950s console set) was in the living room I got to watch such late night shows as “the Late Show” (old movies) and the early versions of “the Tonight Show – back when Johnny Carson was just a page at NBC, California with my parents – or they could not watch them. I have been thinking a lot about those early days of our family lately – both as my mother is 90 and with the clearing out of our house for the sale of it. I have not taken a lot of family stuff as I am in my mid 60s and have no children to inherit any of the family house – it will eventually reside with my niece or nephew any way.

Since we had the bed bugs here in our home I am always concerned about getting them again. We have a device called a Packtite. It is the size of a very large softsided suitcase with a rack and a heater in it. It is intended to place suitcases in after one has been on a trip to heat the suitcases and what is in them to kill any bed bugs that might have come home with one. Because I am a crazy person, we have it set up with a laundry basket – that we drilled in holes in the bottom of to allow for air flow – in it and we heat any soft items – paper, fabric and the like that we bring into the house – that we are concerned might have bed bugs in them. So the items from my family home - mostly papers and needlework of mine from when I was much younger – all has to be heated.

I am doing so in small batches and have finished two large bags so far. I am going through these items I took when there or my sister set aside for me. (She said she had a box for me – I expected an office files sized box- there were two of them plus other stuff in the box she left.) It is a trip down memory lane and a record of what I considered important enough to keep at one or another point in time. I have found work appointment books from my early days in accounting (could have used one of them when I was positive that I knew a building in a scene on “Blue Bloods” and went crazy to find it and then figure out how I knew it – it was where a client had his factory – the work appointment books also have clients contact info). School grades – I did as badly as I remember. Lots of occasion cards – birthdays, engagement – ours and friends, anniversaries, Valentines (old boyfriends same went straight to the paper shredder), and so on. I have been weeding through – baby age birthday cards, one copy of wedding related paper items, cards from certain people – parents, sisters, husband, a few very good friends, a special aunt &uncle, my grandparents were kept – others were shredded. I found some remembrances of things such as graduation or awards programs – kept, articles I had published in the college newspaper – kept, personal diaries – kept.

Of course I am keeping my needlework – finished or not. I did leave behind two latch hooked throw rugs that were finished except for the edging as I figured they might sell and make a couple of buck for mom, plus husband said to me as I looked at them “Where would we put them?”. I did decide after leaving them if when we went back they were still there I would take them – but we did not get back while they were still in sight.

So I am trying to figure out what to add to the mess of stuff here in husband and my home, without going overboard. I was a bit “lucky”. My toys would have been the hardest to deal with and decide who “lived” and who “died” but the house was hit by Hurricane Sandy and the basement where most of the toys were flooded and they had to be tossed out then by the crew that came in and worked on the basement. Not only were they not there for me to deal with, I had already “mourned their loss”.

There were 5 items in particular that I was looking for. My Girl Scout sash -with my few badges and my annual star pins on it. I had put together a loose leaf book with hand copied lyrics to old folk songs. My dad had given me one of his army shirts from when he was in same during World War II during the late 1960s/early 1970s when wearing army shirts was popular. There is a stapled binding, thin, soft-covered book about our family in “the old country”. Lastly, when I was in high school I embroidered a table cloth. When I got married we could not find it, I figured if any of it ever would turn up – it would be as the house was emptied. I have the army shirt and the loose leaf book of song lyrics. The other items did not show up.

There has been a tag sale by a company that my sister found and much of the contents of the house are gone. We have to go in and clean and fix it up a bit before we sell it. The next day neighbor already is telling us about someone she knows who is interested in the house.

Just in case anyone is interested – mom has had her pacemaker (or its battery – story of what is to be done was different to my sister and me) replaced, so we won't have to figure out how to plug into a wall outlet if it dies. :-) She has also had (within the same week) surgery to remove a lesion that was causing her anemia. As of tonight she is back in her apartment at her assisted living facility – pretty good for a 90 year old woman I think.

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK - If you were getting ready of your family home – or your own home – what would you be looking for as you would want to make sure that you kept them?