SEMI UNORGANIZED THANKSGIVING

Ah, the holidays are coming!  Is panic setting in?

Last week I put out my few Thanksgiving decorations.  A small setting of Pilgrim bear figurines going to Thanksgiving at a house in a tree.  (I painted the tree and most of the bears from kits - in one case while I was supposed to making and getting the house ready for Thanksgiving dinner.)  Other “human” Thanksgiving figurines and salt and pepper shakers and a pair of candleholders given me by a friend decades ago.  Husband took me to “Thanksgiving world” - aka Plymouth, MA decades ago and I bought most of the assorted non-bear items there in gift shops.

I am sure I have mentioned before, but just in case I did not, my husband and I are of different faiths.  I am Jewish and he is Roman Catholic.  As a result we did not have that “whose family are we going to” problem for most family holidays.  We went to my family for Jewish holidays and his family for Christian holidays.  But then there was Thanksgiving.

Growing up, as well as an adult, Thanksgiving was my favorite holiday - and not just because I am an eater.  It was the only uniquely American family holiday which was not religious based - it was/is a holiday for all Americans.  Also there were no gifts - gifts I received tended to have nothing to do with me or anything I was interested in - especially beyond my immediate family - and I had to smile and say thank you - and then figure out what to do with the item - this was not a problem with Thanksgiving. 

Now, it has been found that when the answer to what do you have for thanksgiving dinner - answer “turkey and all the trimmings” was further looked into, it was found that same varied greatly.  For a while growing up our Thanksgivings were celebrated with my mom’s family and her sister-in-law (my aunt) had become kosher, so we would go to a kosher delicatessen restaurant for dinner.  Mom would cook turkey during the year, so it was not what we wanted there. My sisters and I  wanted corned beef sandwiches!  The waiter would keep asking if we were sure and we were.  They had handed us the complete regular menu after all, and that was our dinner.  My husband’s family is from Italy.  They would have a first course of some kind of macaroni (what we Americans call pasta).  So while being the uniquely encompassing holiday, Thanksgiving is large enough to encompass all of various backgrounds. 

While dating and the first few years we were married we would juggle which family we went to - generally we ended up with his family.  One year I had the idea to have both families come to our tiny apartment for Thanksgiving dinner.  He was shocked at the idea.  Oh, one difference between our families is that my family tends (short of accommodating the kosher aunt) tends to eat at home for holidays, while his family eats out.  We figured out a menu, found a place that has hot turkey pick up on Thanksgiving, and went ahead.  It went fairly well - the entire living room filled with two long folding tables put end to end.  For 25 years we made Thanksgiving dinner.  Nieces and nephew came along.  My dad died.  A few times a friend or an in law of a family member was included.  We moved one year at the end of October from our apartment to this house - and we made Thanksgiving dinner - and used the good china.  It was the bedbugs which brought this to an end as we cannot bring ourselves to have anyone in the house.

Organizing? I see now how organized I was for those dinners.  Now the two of us have our Thanksgiving dinner alone.  At first we went to an inexpensive general food buffet restaurant and it was very nice as the manager made it feel party like.  Then he left and it was not as nice and then finally the place closed.  So on and off over the past several years I have made Thanksgiving dinner for the two of us.  What a mess! 

First of all, I never know if I am making dinner or if we are going out to an Asian buffet until the last minute.  Last year we waited so long, we almost could not get a turkey which was not frozen - and that would not have defrosted in time.  This year we bought a turkey this past Saturday. 

In the old days I had a menu from the past to work with.  We might change a dish or two, but basically it was the same menu.  I have a spiral notebook with almost every dinner we made for Thanksgiving and the other holidays we took a turn out with, mostly, my family over the years.  (I reached the end of the notebook using the right hand pages and now I am going backwards, using the left hand pages.)  The first week in November I would start checking ads and buying things for the dinner, so at the last minute items like milk which had to be bought fresh were all that was left to buy. 

Well, we went this past Sunday to the supermarket to start buying what we needed - without making a list of what we would make or what we needed.  It was as if there was a combination hurricane and major snow storm announced at the same time!  The parking lot was jammed.  The store was jammed.  We gave up and left.  We then actually made up a list of what we would have and needed so when we went back Monday it was not as jammed  - we actually went to another supermarket chain as they had items we were looking for on sale - and were able to buy almost all the items needed at the one supermarket, with a quick stop at the one from Sunday for 2 items we had not been able to get.  Husband complained about the crowds - I told him flat out - “This is why I used to shop the first week of the month!”

We have baked a pie tonight.  Everything else can be done tomorrow, Thanksgiving.  I will set up the turkey tonight so when I get up really early tomorrow to put the turkey in the oven, I can go back to sleep a lot quicker. 

While downstairs doing my regular Wednesday night laundry (I will not fall behind just because it is a holiday) I took out “the turkey platter”.  This is a larger platter than our others and has a chip in it.  We use it to put the turkey on to carve it and then use smaller ones for serving the turkey (whether for the family or just us).  I washed it as it is kept in the basement.  In the afternoon I brought a bunch of RV stuff (clean sheets, towels...) out to the RV so it is all out of the dinning room.  I moved some stuff into place in the dinning room. 

Tomorrow I will add one board to our dinning room table, instead of the four boards that I used to add for the family.  I will cover it with a plastic/foam cover (I have them in sizes to fit all lengths of the table) and then my Thanksgiving tablecloth (much too large as it fits the table with four boards - so the ends of the table have long overhangs.   One board is needed so that the serving plates and bowls fit on the table.  I will take out 2 settings of my good china, one fabric napkin & one paper napkin, one of my good glasses & husband’s every day glass, and use my silver plate tableware.  I will cook the dinner.  I used to know - start the potatoes first as they will be mashed, and heated in the oven at the end, so get them out of the way as if they cool off it is okay.  No idea what to start with these years - we are making boiled potatoes instead of mashed.  No sweet potatoes this year - he likes them I don’t.  And we will have our Thanksgiving dinner.

After dinner the extra food will be put away, and when you are two people with a 14 lb turkey, there is a lot to store away.  The table will be cleared and I will wash (by hand) the dishes, pots, pans, etc.  The napkin and tablecloth will be washed and dried (by machine) and I will probably also wash the last load of regular laundry which is normally washed on Thursdays nights.  The garbage will go out to the can - no pickup until Monday. 

I really miss the juggling of which dish to cook when.  The baking Venetians (rainbow cookies) starting on Tuesday so they would be ready in time (jelly between layers has to sit weighted overnight).  I miss spending all day Wednesday cooking beef vegetable soup from scratch.  It used to be all so organized!  Now with less to do it is all so disorganized.  Well, at least I don’t have to clean well enough to have my (late) mother in law here.  (One year my sister actually wrote the year in the dust!)        

I do not go shopping on Thanksgiving - or on “Black Friday”!  There is nothing I have ever seen offered on sale that was worth the crowds.  Think about this - the more you buy, the more you have to deal with and organize. Do you really need this or that?

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK -

I wish all a happy Thanksgiving!   

Remember it is just one day - there will be joys and problems (one early year we cooked, shelled and peeled chestnuts for hours, then while they were cooling on the counter, I dropped a glass I had washed and was putting away - next to them and they had to be tossed as we were not sure if we could get all the glass shards out.  The time with family - whether a large group or just two or even time alone - is what matters. 

Take time to be thankful for what you have - don’t look for what you are lacking, even if there is much you are lacking. Stop and breathe and think about what you do have.