Mom is taking much of everyone's time again. Former NYC Mayor Ed Koch once said of his mother - “One mother can take care of 6 children, but 6 children cannot take care of one mother”. It is true. I have 2 sisters, we each have a husband, but there is a niece and nephew – that is 8 adults to divide up taking care of mom.
The family house is cleared out – mostly due to my sisters, brother-in-laws, and niblings. ( I had invented a genderless word for nieces and nephews combined as there should be one – niblings. When I posted this on some group that I am on, someone replied that someone before me had come up with a word for nieces and nephews combined – guess what it was – yes, they also came up with niblings. I am now spreading the word in hope that this long missing word becomes common. Now I need a common word for aunts and uncles – any ideas out there?) There is a broker showing the house now. So, new problems come up.
The family house is in the county and township as husband and I live in. The county (and included townships and a city) has had for decades ongoing problems with the local real estate taxes and how properly the houses are assessed for the value to be taxed, In attempting to fix one problem an entirely new one arose. One can “grieve” their assessment (value of the house to be used for the real estate tax calculations) which means that one files with the county and says that the amount they say the house is worth is wrong and it should be less. There is no downside to this – they cannot raise your assessment, only lower it if they agree with you. One can do this one's self or one can use one of several companies which do the paperwork and deal with the county for you. Husband and I have done this for a long time with a company and our house value has always been lowered. Mom has not done in the past until last year (which is for next year's taxes) as she was afraid of losing her senior partial exemption from part of the school tax (part of the real estate taxes), though I had assured her it would not.
Two problems arose with the sale of the house related to the real estate taxes. First one is that since mom has this senior exemption she amount she pays for real estate taxes is probably less than someone buying her house will pay (it based on income and being over 65 plus one cannot have children in school). The second is that the broker told my sister that mom's taxes are terribly high – higher than the neighbor next door with the same model house, with additions that mom does not have. So yesterday my sister emailed me for help with same – since I am in the same county/township and know the system. First thing I did was take the copies of mom's tax bills that my sister emailed to me and add up what the tax would be without the senior exemption – took a little time as I had to add up all the lines of taxes – once I had the total percentage of the taxes that are charged all I had to do was multiply the assessed value (a small percentage of the actual value of the property/house) by this total percent of taxes and there it was. Even with both the school and other real estate taxes added together it was much less than the broker said it was. Also I telephoned the company which is handling the appeal and they said that due to the county revaluing all the properties in an attempt to even off the assessments mom's assessment will go down as she had not appealed her taxes while other had. I emailed all this to my sister and mentioned that the broker should be able to figure out what the full real estate taxes on a property is.
Well, a thought occurred to me today - there is another house in the county, in a different township, which has the same address. We found this out one year a couple of decades ago when mom's check to pay her real estate taxes was returned to her marked that the taxes had already been paid by someone else. I was going to check on same, but found an email from my sister that she had already thought of this and the huge high taxes (the taxes on this house are so high compared to other houses on the street that it does not make sense at all and there will be problems selling the house) and checked – the taxes the broker has is about $6,000 a year more than per mom's bill or on line and is actually the real estate taxes for the other house with the same address. My sister will tell this to the broker, as well as pointing out that the value of the house for the next year's taxes (starts in September) will be lower as value of the house is lower and I will get a letter from a the company handling the grieving of the assessment saying that same is being done. (Based on mail I receive from them for our house this should not be hard and mom should actually have had this paperwork at home – but her records were lacking as well as the letters might be in the stacks of papers I still have here to go through.)
At the same time I was relaxing from taking mom to the various doctors and thinking “Good, we have time now and can get her to a plastic surgeon for the possible cancer growths on her face and get to Costco for hearing aids . Oh, well, It is about 3 months since we last took her to the oncologist, the surgeon for her cancer and the cardiologist who put in her replacement pacemaker. Guess what – they all either wanted her back in 3 months or wanted blood work done. So I have an appointment set up with her surgeon. I asked doctor's staff if mom needed blood work and they had to check with the doctor and get back to me – did so today and I have to call back and give them the info for the “wellness” office at her residence as they will do the blood work there. I already gave that info to her oncologist – I had given the wellness office two sets of paperwork for blood work in November, they did the first one and apparently lost the second one to be done now. Hopefully the two sets of tests will be done together so poor mom does not have to be stuck twice for blood. We have an appointment for to have her pacemaker battery tested at the doctor's office, but they were suppose to set up for when one of their staff goes to mom's residence (lots of heart patients there – not surprising) to do test the pacemaker there. Have not heard back so I have to make sure they are set up to do that and then cancel the appointment. So, we are back on the doctors-go-round, luckily the doctor from heck does not need to be seen for a couple of months.
And it is about to be my work busy season – income tax season!
I did manage to take down and store away our small Christmas tree and Christmas stuffed dolls, pillows, and stockings – a small assortment of what I normally put out. I switched out a set of bear figurines that I keep in the living room and change by month to keep it seasonal and went from Christmas – the bears for same were only half put out on display – to February (Valentine's Day and bear “dressed” as cherry pie for Geo Washington's birthday). The Christmas ones are all stored away in their boxes. My Teddy Bear Christmas village never actually was finished and will be partially taken down soon, with some bears added and others rearranged for Valentine's Day. One can only do what one can do – and this Christmas season was not one that had time to get everything done.
THOUGHT OF THE WEEK -
Mom's doctors, blood work and related comes first – health over all other things.
Showing posts with label sister. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sister. Show all posts
Thursday, February 6, 2020
Thursday, January 16, 2020
MY COLD CONTINUES AND HUSBAND KEEPS COOKING DINNER, CLEARING OUT STUFF FROM MOM'S HOUSE
Been a busy week between doing nothing. I still have the tail end of the cold I had last week – mostly coughing fits, which upset my husband. He still does not want me touching things – like food and dishes as he is afraid of catching the cold.
Eating dinner has continued to be an adventure. He used to be a such a good cook and enjoy it so much – no longer. We ate out our usual 3 nights for the weekend, which helped a bit, but then we were back to cooking at home. While out on Monday we stopped in at the Walmart Neighborhood Market (supermarket only) to buy stuff for dinner. We came up with the idea of making a soup we like, for dinner. It was too late to make it so we were going to buy what we needed and make it yesterday (Tues), but unlike Walmarts normally this one has a terrible produce deprtment and we could not find good potatoes or onions.
So today we bought same and are making the soup for tomorrow. Husband made it so I would not touch it. Now remember, he was always the better cook. First thing to do is cut up the onions. I would use a paring knife; he takes out the largest knife we own. I didn't want to criticize, so I said nothing and hoped he would not hurt himself. He did not. Then onto the potatoes – he had major trouble as he could not cut through them – they were not our usual red potatoes as same looked terrible, but similar edible skin potatoes. As he finally started swearing I simply said “I usually use a small knife for that.” He then went and took the smallest knife we have – the one I only use to open sealed food packages as it is too small to cut with – and proceed to cut the potatoes with it. Then the meat had to be cut up. The rest of the vegetables added were frozen ones – including some I had split into bags in the freezer when I made normal amount of soup in December at the holidays. We have added more meat to make it a dinner entree this time. I watched it as it cooked – stirring it now and then. I just shut it off and took the pot off the stove to cool off. It should cook 2 hours, I let it cook an hour and a half as it will cook again tomorrow before we eat it. This also allows about 2 hours before we go to bed so we can put in the fridge without needing to put the pot in ice water to cool it off.
At the same time I have our clothes in the washing machine – deal with my cold is I put in washer, I move to dryer, he takes the clothes out of the dryer (because the heat of same will kill all the “germs”) and then he will hang up his shirts, but I can fold the rest. I did not do other than clothes last week and probably won't this week either – what fun next week – plus our reenacting clothing still needs to washed and stored until the next event, probably in the spring.
Monday I had telephone call from my sister. She had someone who could come and would take stuff from our family home for his non-profit thrift shop and we would get a receipt for the donation. She also had someone coming today to take furniture, so could husband and I go on Tuesday so she did not have take off 2 days from work? So we went. While we waited for the fellow to come we walked around the house looking for certain items. I should mention that there have already been 2 tag sales – one by a professional and one by my sister. The fellow was amazing – he packed the stuff so quickly – and I was surprised that breakables were not wrapped – most of what was around the in the house in smaller things are now gone including several closets of clothing (including the gown I wore to his sister's wedding as a bridesmaid), all the bed linens & towels, drinking glasses (at least 2 sets of same), candle holders (lots of same), toys and anything else you can imagine – plus other stuff. In our walk around the house before and while I wandered around while they were there (husband went out to the car as he was tired – we had to get there earlier than we normally wake up) some items were found that, yes, we took. My mom had embroidered a lovely (large) wreath of flowers on blue velvet back in the 1970s/80s and my sister had asked if I wanted it and I had said no. In the interim I thought about it and decided I wanted it, but when we were there just before the first tag sale, I did not see it and presumed that it had been taken by one of my sisters or mom had asked for it. But it was in the dining room. I looked at it and the frame was damaged and huge. I told husband that I wanted it, but if we could get it out of the frame – that was great. A quick trip to the car – we have all sorts of useful things in the car – and a large Swiss army knife was found (no staple removers in dad's office) and he pulled the staples out so I could keep the needlework. I plan to refinish it in the same manner I finish embroidery pieces that I make, but don't plan to hang up – as an unquilted small quilt piece.
Our first stop was my dad's office. We are still hoping to find the book about our family and husband wanted to see what show business books were there. My sister had mentioned in the list of things that the fellow could take and what he could not take that there were office supplies in the office closet – so I had to look. I am about to run out of what is called columnar paper – that is the accounting paper with number columns on it – and have not really wanted to spend the money to buy a new book of it – husband tried downloading from online, but it was not that usable – and I found a number of books of it in the closet – now here. Husband found a book he wanted – we took that too. Just before the fellow the arrived husband found 2 ceramic mugs from the Williamsburg Pottery – perfect to use for reenacting and not cheap – so we were putting them in the car when the fellow arrived. He was very nice and I said, very efficient.
At first husband stayed with me in the house as we did not know the fellow and we followed him as he looked at what was in the house – as we walked around in my parents' bedroom I noticed a stack of tablecloths – there the long missing and looked for, tablecloth that I had embroidered in high school was there! So now the only thing I have not found that I was looking for is that book!
As I waited in the house as they went through everything my eye fell on 2 pewter, 18th century looking candle holders. (Not antiques, just looking like.). I picked them up and walked out to husband in the car and showed them to him – he agreed we needed to take them for reenacting – perfect for extra candle holders at the candlelight nights event.
As the fellow was finishing he asked about several large black garbage bags in the kitchen. I texted my sister – yes, they were garbage not stuff she was keeping. He went through the bags and most of what was in them – kitchen items not actual food or paper garbage – he took also – another 2 cartons worth!
I have not yet spoken to my sister about the furniture man today and how much he took.
It is amazing how much stuff a family of 5 accumulates over 60 years – and I know that mom was always donating stuff to different organizations. One thing I can say – We do have less stuff than my family did – well, there are the teddy bears - larger and smaller - and their friends…
So think about it – when one day your house has to be cleared out – how much will there be? Enough for children to take what they want, plus 2 tag sales, plus a thrift shop truck load, plus…?
THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK -
Try looking through one room – perhaps your kitchen or your living room – anything there you no longer like? Did you buy new set of dishes and still have the old set? Every one item that you get rid of is one less for the thrift shop man to come and take later.
Eating dinner has continued to be an adventure. He used to be a such a good cook and enjoy it so much – no longer. We ate out our usual 3 nights for the weekend, which helped a bit, but then we were back to cooking at home. While out on Monday we stopped in at the Walmart Neighborhood Market (supermarket only) to buy stuff for dinner. We came up with the idea of making a soup we like, for dinner. It was too late to make it so we were going to buy what we needed and make it yesterday (Tues), but unlike Walmarts normally this one has a terrible produce deprtment and we could not find good potatoes or onions.
So today we bought same and are making the soup for tomorrow. Husband made it so I would not touch it. Now remember, he was always the better cook. First thing to do is cut up the onions. I would use a paring knife; he takes out the largest knife we own. I didn't want to criticize, so I said nothing and hoped he would not hurt himself. He did not. Then onto the potatoes – he had major trouble as he could not cut through them – they were not our usual red potatoes as same looked terrible, but similar edible skin potatoes. As he finally started swearing I simply said “I usually use a small knife for that.” He then went and took the smallest knife we have – the one I only use to open sealed food packages as it is too small to cut with – and proceed to cut the potatoes with it. Then the meat had to be cut up. The rest of the vegetables added were frozen ones – including some I had split into bags in the freezer when I made normal amount of soup in December at the holidays. We have added more meat to make it a dinner entree this time. I watched it as it cooked – stirring it now and then. I just shut it off and took the pot off the stove to cool off. It should cook 2 hours, I let it cook an hour and a half as it will cook again tomorrow before we eat it. This also allows about 2 hours before we go to bed so we can put in the fridge without needing to put the pot in ice water to cool it off.
At the same time I have our clothes in the washing machine – deal with my cold is I put in washer, I move to dryer, he takes the clothes out of the dryer (because the heat of same will kill all the “germs”) and then he will hang up his shirts, but I can fold the rest. I did not do other than clothes last week and probably won't this week either – what fun next week – plus our reenacting clothing still needs to washed and stored until the next event, probably in the spring.
Monday I had telephone call from my sister. She had someone who could come and would take stuff from our family home for his non-profit thrift shop and we would get a receipt for the donation. She also had someone coming today to take furniture, so could husband and I go on Tuesday so she did not have take off 2 days from work? So we went. While we waited for the fellow to come we walked around the house looking for certain items. I should mention that there have already been 2 tag sales – one by a professional and one by my sister. The fellow was amazing – he packed the stuff so quickly – and I was surprised that breakables were not wrapped – most of what was around the in the house in smaller things are now gone including several closets of clothing (including the gown I wore to his sister's wedding as a bridesmaid), all the bed linens & towels, drinking glasses (at least 2 sets of same), candle holders (lots of same), toys and anything else you can imagine – plus other stuff. In our walk around the house before and while I wandered around while they were there (husband went out to the car as he was tired – we had to get there earlier than we normally wake up) some items were found that, yes, we took. My mom had embroidered a lovely (large) wreath of flowers on blue velvet back in the 1970s/80s and my sister had asked if I wanted it and I had said no. In the interim I thought about it and decided I wanted it, but when we were there just before the first tag sale, I did not see it and presumed that it had been taken by one of my sisters or mom had asked for it. But it was in the dining room. I looked at it and the frame was damaged and huge. I told husband that I wanted it, but if we could get it out of the frame – that was great. A quick trip to the car – we have all sorts of useful things in the car – and a large Swiss army knife was found (no staple removers in dad's office) and he pulled the staples out so I could keep the needlework. I plan to refinish it in the same manner I finish embroidery pieces that I make, but don't plan to hang up – as an unquilted small quilt piece.
Our first stop was my dad's office. We are still hoping to find the book about our family and husband wanted to see what show business books were there. My sister had mentioned in the list of things that the fellow could take and what he could not take that there were office supplies in the office closet – so I had to look. I am about to run out of what is called columnar paper – that is the accounting paper with number columns on it – and have not really wanted to spend the money to buy a new book of it – husband tried downloading from online, but it was not that usable – and I found a number of books of it in the closet – now here. Husband found a book he wanted – we took that too. Just before the fellow the arrived husband found 2 ceramic mugs from the Williamsburg Pottery – perfect to use for reenacting and not cheap – so we were putting them in the car when the fellow arrived. He was very nice and I said, very efficient.
At first husband stayed with me in the house as we did not know the fellow and we followed him as he looked at what was in the house – as we walked around in my parents' bedroom I noticed a stack of tablecloths – there the long missing and looked for, tablecloth that I had embroidered in high school was there! So now the only thing I have not found that I was looking for is that book!
As I waited in the house as they went through everything my eye fell on 2 pewter, 18th century looking candle holders. (Not antiques, just looking like.). I picked them up and walked out to husband in the car and showed them to him – he agreed we needed to take them for reenacting – perfect for extra candle holders at the candlelight nights event.
As the fellow was finishing he asked about several large black garbage bags in the kitchen. I texted my sister – yes, they were garbage not stuff she was keeping. He went through the bags and most of what was in them – kitchen items not actual food or paper garbage – he took also – another 2 cartons worth!
I have not yet spoken to my sister about the furniture man today and how much he took.
It is amazing how much stuff a family of 5 accumulates over 60 years – and I know that mom was always donating stuff to different organizations. One thing I can say – We do have less stuff than my family did – well, there are the teddy bears - larger and smaller - and their friends…
So think about it – when one day your house has to be cleared out – how much will there be? Enough for children to take what they want, plus 2 tag sales, plus a thrift shop truck load, plus…?
THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK -
Try looking through one room – perhaps your kitchen or your living room – anything there you no longer like? Did you buy new set of dishes and still have the old set? Every one item that you get rid of is one less for the thrift shop man to come and take later.
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